Boleo

Odd that you choose the word "suffer", because that is what I now use for a spiritual fitness benchmark:

So long as I am spiritually fit - nothing disturbs me enough that I feel like I need a drink. So long as I am spiritually fit - nothing disturbs me enough that I feel like I am suffering. I simply work an
end-of-suffering program and the end-of-drinking program becomes a moot issue.


"In this life - pain is inevitable - suffering is optional."

Mountainmanbob

Not sure of where that came from or where it fits in with the thread ?
MB

August252015

It made perfect sense to me. I took part of the meaning to be that neither #1 nor #2 apply when one keeps spiritually fit -

"It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe (see scenario 1). ... What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition." (BB 85) and further, "...We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives....We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Thy will be done." We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self pity or foolish decisions (scenario 2)." BB 86, 87, 88

All of this means that we don't suffer if we stay spiritually fit. It's exactly when we suffer that we've gone chasing after a rabbit of some kind or another. And that chase leads us to drink.

Optimini

Here's a question for those who have more time in than me. When wanting to celebrate, what is your take on non-alcoholic beer or sparkling apple cider?

Straightup

I'm just shy of a year. #1 worries me. I don't ever want to go back

Dave42001

I love a good ginger ale or a big Arnold Palmer! those non alcohol drinks don't do much for me... Glad you posted, keep up the good work!!

Optimini

Yeah for now I enjoy a diet A&W or diet coke, I don't have soda often so it's nice to have those as treats. I will probably avoid NA beer, just seems to me like it might be a bad idea.

MelindaFlowers

I never had any substantial sober time before I stopped in June 2014 but a few times I got to a week. My record was 10 excruciating days.

I remember thinking after ten days how easy it would be to just take one night off and start again the next day. Then how easy it would be to just take two days off from sobriety....then three.....then four......My ten day streak was in 2010 and it took me four years to get sober again.

I'm reading in a lot of posts here how "one night off" turned into several more years of drinking. Didn't we all think it would be just one night? A non-alcoholic would probably laugh at this. Why would one night turn into years? Sometimes I think of my drinking as a few thousand nights rather than 10 years. I always had a plan to stop the next day. Always. Tomorrow holds so much promise when you're pouring that first drink.

Early sobriety was such a delicate time because I would convince myself that I could always "start again" next week. Once you get into that thinking, "next month" starts sounding pretty good.

I am 26 months sober and posts like this remind me that I'm no invincible. The same brain that I've used to get sober was the same brain that drank a 12 pack every night. This is why I'm still here posting. It's pretty easy at this point but I never want to forget where I was.

MelindaFlowers

Here I am again....

About a year ago my dog was diagnosed with cancer. I was beside myself with grief but I stayed sober.

A week later I got the call that the biopsy showed he was misdiagnosed. No cancer. This moment of elation was one of the few times in sobriety where I wanted to drink. It was shocking that joyous news would trigger me more than devastating news. That was big lesson to learn.

Mountainmanbob

Spiritually fit, if we may let us examine that statement. Yes, I attend AA but, do not believe in everything taught there. The main reason would be that some of their beliefs actually are not in aliment with the bible.

For example -- spiritually fit ?
Even on my best days I'm a sinner.
Where does sin fit it with spiritually fit ?

The Bible teaches me that I'm actually spiritually weak.

I will admit that I try to thank God each day for my sobriety and I'm grateful for guardian angels for I feel they've been with me through some rough times.

Can a simple man be perfectly spiritually fit every minute of the day ?

I have yet to see one.


MB

Mountainmanbob

Some will say that, "we need to stay spiritually fit in order to maintain our sobriety." Well, that sounds good on the cover page but, who here is spiritually fit 100% of the time ? For example if we may let us take two mountainous areas. One would be the mountains of Lakeside here where I live and the other would be Tibet. Well, maybe there are some 100% spiritually fit people in Tibet but, I know for sure that there are none here on these mountains where I live.

Rather than seeking the goal of being spiritually fit (at all times) although a worthy goal, possibly it is best to be prepared with a good sober tool belt (recovery program) for the times in which we are spiritually weak ?

Some may say , that they are never spiritually weak. Seems that this would be yet another form of self deception ?

Anyone who never get's into the oh poor me's -- I would like to ask of them to be my counselor. Didn't think that I needed a counselor but, I would take one of those,

M-Bob

Loekken

Absolutely I have both of them - and I know myself well enough to know that I will keep having them for good, probably. Also, one can't really generalize too much on this phenomenon, because we all have individual stories. And we don't know how strong urges and emotions are in other people, for instance.

Bunny211

#1 for me. Always the cause of my relapses. Additionally, I would often think that I drank due to trauma or other circumstances...and if I was healthy and whole again I would not need to go nuts with the drinking. Like, alcoholism is not a REAL thing...there's no blood test for this disease...it is all made up. I know myself, I can have a couple. Never ended well.

August252015

Those, mocktails, any of the stuff is not for me. If people are truly ok with it, fine and I hope it stays that way - but, y'know, even NA beers usually (all?) have a tiny percent of alcohol so a really dedicated researcher could try to take advantage of that and have a whole lot of them! For me, I just don't want it - and a vodka soda with lime would be...club soda with lime. Which I can have any time, celebratory or no - though I really don't even drink soda water any more because I consumed soooo much of it.

Bunny211

Non alcoholic beer is for non alcoholics.

Seltzer, soda, sparkling cider ....all fine. The problem, is that, as alcoholics, we see a need need to celebrate with a sexy glass in our hand. Can you celebrate without the drink (even a non alcoholic drink) being the focus of your attention? What about bringing an amazing appetizer, or dessert? Or getting a great new outfit that make you feel fabulous? Bringing a fun game to play?

Boleo

When I worked an "end-of-drinking-program", I did manage to get some sober time here and there. However, I still suffered from the obsession to drink every day (sometimes 1000 times a day).

When I switched to an "end-of-suffering-program", I not only stayed sober in the long run, but I found that I no longer suffered from any obsession to drink (not even once a year).

By treating suffering, rather than drinking, Drinking simply became a moot issue. The idea that I drank to feel good was only a half truth. The full truth was I drank to escape suffering. Now-a-days, I escape suffering long before it makes me feel like I need a drink.

SoberCAH

Bob -

For me, the term "spiritually fit" means spiritually pointing in the right direction most of the time.

I will always be tempted to do things which are not in my best interests and which would probably constitute sins.

Occasionally, I indulge and, for example, buy something(s) I don't need or eat too much.

Or spend way too much time thinking about myself and what (else) I want at a particular point in time and not about what I can do to give back what has been freely given to me by God.

But I try hard to do what I think God wants me to do on a daily basis (like the 11th step tells us to pray for) and, to the extent that I truly do that and try to act accordingly, I am spiritually fit by my standards.

Other peoples mileage may vary.

Mountainmanbob

Maybe I should have made the thread with three reasons?

#3 -- Self deception
for how many times have I fooled myself?

M-Bob

Maudcat

Relapse is part of recovery. Just get back on the bus and start again.

ScottFromWI

I would argue that relapse is part of addiction and actually a barrier to recovery. But "getting back on the bus" is absolutely key, as well as learning from our mistakes.