This is easy
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Straightup 
This is easy Most days I don't even think about drinking. Anybody else with me here?
Originally Posted by Straightup
I know that I cannot drink anymore. I made the old fart comment because some of the older more experienced posters can come off as arrogant as if they forgot they were once newbies.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
At two years in my sobriety is my new norm. It's totally normal to not drink now. Quite a change from not being able to go one single day.
Be mindful though. There are a few things that can happen.
1. "This is easy. So easy, it would be easy to take one day off at this wedding."
2. "This is easy. Maybe moderation wouldn't be that hard."
I'm not saying you'll think these things. These are things I used to think before I finally stopped drinking alcohol. Sobriety was never easy for me, but some days were easier than others.
Be mindful though. There are a few things that can happen.
1. "This is easy. So easy, it would be easy to take one day off at this wedding."
2. "This is easy. Maybe moderation wouldn't be that hard."
I'm not saying you'll think these things. These are things I used to think before I finally stopped drinking alcohol. Sobriety was never easy for me, but some days were easier than others.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by Straightup
Most days I don't even think about drinking. Anybody else with me here?
Recovering is thinking about not drinking, recovered is not thinking about drinking.
The problem has been removed. It does not exist.. These are some of the AA promises that have come true for me. And they have come without any real thought or effort on my part. That's the miracle of it.
But I also know that the allergy is still there, and I keep up the maintenance on my spiritual condition.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 273
Well, I do believe people who obsess over not drinking are more likely to drink than people who decide to stop drinking, and then make sure they're doing and thinking about other things.
Some people will go a whole day doing nothing but thinking about not drinking. Those people are in the most danger.
But still, this addiction can really surprise you. You can think it's totally behind you, and then something really painful can happen that turns into you drinking like a fish for a month, wondering who you are and taking all that confidence away from you.
You have to be mentally prepared for the sharp turn in the road that could come up. Sometimes you've figured it out for the routine you've got now, but when the routine changes you become vulnerable again and have to figure it out again. Whether you've learned how to not drink in hard times, and suddenly things look great and you 'celebrate,' or you've learned how to not drink when things are going well, and things suddenly take a nose dive and you think you'll drink to 'weather the storm.' Either way, it kicks your butt for a lot longer than you planned, and makes you question whether you were really over this problem.
Some people will go a whole day doing nothing but thinking about not drinking. Those people are in the most danger.
But still, this addiction can really surprise you. You can think it's totally behind you, and then something really painful can happen that turns into you drinking like a fish for a month, wondering who you are and taking all that confidence away from you.
You have to be mentally prepared for the sharp turn in the road that could come up. Sometimes you've figured it out for the routine you've got now, but when the routine changes you become vulnerable again and have to figure it out again. Whether you've learned how to not drink in hard times, and suddenly things look great and you 'celebrate,' or you've learned how to not drink when things are going well, and things suddenly take a nose dive and you think you'll drink to 'weather the storm.' Either way, it kicks your butt for a lot longer than you planned, and makes you question whether you were really over this problem.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 123
Recovering from alcohol dependency is like trying to domesticate a starving wolf, let your guard down at the wrong second and it'll eat you alive.
In the past I drank heavily and often, these days I've limited it to bi-weekend benders and more recently; I'm working to send the beast back to the wild where it belongs, a parting of ways.
Remember, it's easy to think we're doing great after a sober stint and we all want to feel that way. Remember what brought you here in the first place, remember the hangovers and having to feed the need. I think true healing of the mind and body comes from consistently good thinking and decision making, so keep on keepin' on.
I'm glad to hear you're not thinking about it much any more, it's difficult for most people to reach such a state of mind. I don't know how long it's been for you, but if your thoughts and feelings of drinking are subsiding; I'd say that means you're headed in the right direction.
Keep your guard and spirit up.
In the past I drank heavily and often, these days I've limited it to bi-weekend benders and more recently; I'm working to send the beast back to the wild where it belongs, a parting of ways.
Remember, it's easy to think we're doing great after a sober stint and we all want to feel that way. Remember what brought you here in the first place, remember the hangovers and having to feed the need. I think true healing of the mind and body comes from consistently good thinking and decision making, so keep on keepin' on.
I'm glad to hear you're not thinking about it much any more, it's difficult for most people to reach such a state of mind. I don't know how long it's been for you, but if your thoughts and feelings of drinking are subsiding; I'd say that means you're headed in the right direction.
Keep your guard and spirit up.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
When I lost appreciation and respect for all the work I did in order to get sober, and though it took me many years to get there, I picked up a drink after twenty five years without. And I didn't stop until I ruined my life all over again, three years later.
Without humility, learning is impossible.
Without humility, learning is impossible.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Straightup,
i'm with you on the not thinking about drinking. or of drinking.
i have spent and continue to spend a bunch of time thinking about alcoholism, though. and about sobriety.
and recovery.
and while not drinking is easy for me now, living a contented sober life requires effort. ongoing. not fear, or hyper-vigilance.
but awareness, engagement, participation, effort.
willingness.
i'm with you on the not thinking about drinking. or of drinking.
i have spent and continue to spend a bunch of time thinking about alcoholism, though. and about sobriety.
and recovery.
and while not drinking is easy for me now, living a contented sober life requires effort. ongoing. not fear, or hyper-vigilance.
but awareness, engagement, participation, effort.
willingness.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Austin Texas
Posts: 165
Good for you and others who find this easy. I have never heard someone saying sobriety is easy, either her in SR, AA or anywhere else, but I am very happy for you.
How long have you been sober? Did you ever relapse? Are you in a program or what do you attribute to your success and ease of staying sober?
How long have you been sober? Did you ever relapse? Are you in a program or what do you attribute to your success and ease of staying sober?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
don't know who you're addressing, Whodathunk,, so i'll just respond by clarifying i took the initial post to be about literally not thinking about drinking.
a sober life is something different.
hm....AA does actually say that "the problem has been removed", step 10 promises, i think.
a sober life is something different.
hm....AA does actually say that "the problem has been removed", step 10 promises, i think.
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
Well I'm with you on the part about rarely thinking about drinking anymore.
I can't say that it was all that easy getting to that point. Simple yes, but I'm the kind of person who can make simple things complicated. And there are simple things I do on a daily basis to stay that way. Not thinking about drinking all of the time definitely makes staying sober easier, but it took a conscious effort on my part to reach that point, it didn't "just happen". The 10th step promise that "the problem has been removed" has come true for me. But it goes on to tell me that these promises are contingent on staying in fit spiritual condition. Practicing steps 10-12 on a daily basis is how I keep the promises intact and make staying sober "easy".
I can't say that it was all that easy getting to that point. Simple yes, but I'm the kind of person who can make simple things complicated. And there are simple things I do on a daily basis to stay that way. Not thinking about drinking all of the time definitely makes staying sober easier, but it took a conscious effort on my part to reach that point, it didn't "just happen". The 10th step promise that "the problem has been removed" has come true for me. But it goes on to tell me that these promises are contingent on staying in fit spiritual condition. Practicing steps 10-12 on a daily basis is how I keep the promises intact and make staying sober "easy".
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: illinois
Posts: 907
i very very rarely think about drinking as a thing i might want to do.
But, at two and a half years out, i rarely pass a day without noticing how well im feeling, thinking and performing.
i suppose after more time has passed, the sparkle will wear off. So, im preparing for that while enjoying my gratitude now.
But, at two and a half years out, i rarely pass a day without noticing how well im feeling, thinking and performing.
i suppose after more time has passed, the sparkle will wear off. So, im preparing for that while enjoying my gratitude now.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Austin Texas
Posts: 165
No offense fini, only extreme respect for everyone who is sober, be it just a few minutes, days, weeks, months or years, whether it is easy or hard or a constant battle. Mine has been a constant battle, so I am on that end, sober just over a year after 2.5 years and a relapse. I thought it was easy (even after a rough start to get to my 2.5 years) and my particular thinking got me in the mindset that it could not be that easy and I could not feel that great unless I was no longer an alcoholic. Hell, maybe I never even WAS one. I tried to be a social drinker but that ended with the first sip. I knew when it touched my lips. So I am that person who can't even have one.
So I was truly looking for, and will always look for, ways that others do it so that I can keep learning and absorbing.
I am an AA'er, and while I don't have the desire to drink, I have my moments that make it less then normal and quite difficult to otherwise be like those who don't have to worry about what one sip will do to them. I think most would tell you that for them the problem is not removed, but for some it is, but it is a promise. It would truly suck if we instead read on the wall something like "good luck, statistically you will relapse, but thanks for coming", but we all strive to have that problem removed, who wouldn't?
So I was truly looking for, and will always look for, ways that others do it so that I can keep learning and absorbing.
I am an AA'er, and while I don't have the desire to drink, I have my moments that make it less then normal and quite difficult to otherwise be like those who don't have to worry about what one sip will do to them. I think most would tell you that for them the problem is not removed, but for some it is, but it is a promise. It would truly suck if we instead read on the wall something like "good luck, statistically you will relapse, but thanks for coming", but we all strive to have that problem removed, who wouldn't?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Austin Texas
Posts: 165
In an odd way, my toughest moments are when we have had people over for dinner and I am clearing the table, since my wife had cooked, and I used to not be able to pour out others peoples perfectly good wine that they left in their glass. I know, gross, and how sick and crazy, but that was what I would do, finish each and ever glass. For God's sake should there be a bottle left on the table with ANY wine left in it, that just did not occur to me to be rational. Yes, that was a small component of my drinking, it was bad, it was serious, and I was a blackout drinker when I finally knew that I either stopped then and there, or I would die. That was the morning that I stopped drinking at 11:00 am and went to AA. It was maybe one of the most important days of my life that I am very grateful for. Lot's and lot's of gratitude, trust me!!!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I don't think about the act of drinking, but I almost constantly think about being an alcoholic. It is a constant companion, whom I hold preciously; I work very hard to maintain and keep building a wonderful, sober life, and the freedom I have from alcohol. I don't like using the word easy, because life is not - but removal of the obsession, and wanting to drink, has been easy - but I cannot rest on that easiness, so I turn that pink cloud into the basis for my emotional sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
Originally Posted by Straightup
Most days I don't even think about drinking. Anybody else with me here?
That's my stable effortless "recovered" place, low-simmer engagement with the world of recovery but zero interest in drinking, even in situations that would once have been triggering.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
I am glad to hear you are doing well, just a word of advice, in my own case and speaking with others we found we often found recovery easy, became overconfident and ended up in a relapse, its something I have done a few times, just be mindful that our addictive voice may be sleeping but I tend to see mine as a tiger laying in waiting for the right time to pounce and get me to slip.
All the best
Andrew
All the best
Andrew
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 976
Originally Posted by Endeavor
Recovering from alcohol dependency is like trying to domesticate a starving wolf, let your guard down at the wrong second and it'll eat you alive.
In the past I drank heavily and often, these days I've limited it to bi-weekend benders and more recently; I'm working to send the beast back to the wild where it belongs, a parting of ways.
In the past I drank heavily and often, these days I've limited it to bi-weekend benders and more recently; I'm working to send the beast back to the wild where it belongs, a parting of ways.
Great analogy Endeavor!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
Interestingly, for me a key breakthrough about 10 months in was, understanding that there is no tiger waiting in the bush ready to pounce, and that confidence and strength can replace fear and uncertainty. I'm in charge, not my fears that go away when I stop giving them power. It took a bit more time to really live that, but by about 18 months in I was as stable as I am now. Different strokes, we're all unique snowflakes.
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