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Old 09-30-2004, 03:52 PM
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Scared

Hi

I am well into recovery and have been dry for almost two months now.....apart from Monday this week when I failed to deal with some personal issues. I drank some wine and didn't tell her. Stupid, stupid, stupid. We are both attending counselling and are making good progress. Having been sober for some time now, I am more in touch with my emotions. I cry quite a lot, but I also lose my temper..... Not with my fiancee, but she obviously takes the brunt of my stress.

My fiancee is having a break from us for a few days and is attending her ex-b/f's wedding. I was supposed to go with her, but she decided that time out was best for her. I respect her feelings, but I just feel very unhappy and alone at the moment. It is tough for us both, but I know what is expected of me.

She is a wonderful girl and importantly, I believe now that I am a decent bloke. We have some way to go, but with reasonable luck I hope we can begin to plan our own wedding.

I have gained a lot of strength from this site and through counselling. Just feeling very low at the moment.

Rich
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Old 09-30-2004, 04:38 PM
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Hi Rich,

Becoming sober is a very scary thing. I spent three years drinking and running away from all the emotions in my life. When I stopped I had a lot to look at. And, some of it was not at all what I expected.

It sounds like you need to find a good way to deal with your anger. I found that exercising helps and knowing when I need to spend time alone with myself. You really need to figure out what works for you. Unlike you, I directed most of my anger inwards and did not feel good about myself at all. But, I found ways to begin to change that.

It sounds like you can talk to your g/f so let her know you need to deal with your emotions in healthy ways. As far as being unhappy and alone while she's away. You know that's a choice you can make. You can also choose to enjoy your time by yourself and do things you wouldn't do if she was there.

Hang in there Rich. It sounds like you're doing great.

Love, Anna
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Old 09-30-2004, 05:04 PM
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Thanks Anna

Like you I am no longer prepared to run away from my emotions. Being sober is a scary environment, but one which I find more rewarding. I'm sure that we can find some equilibrium.

Darned sure that I will try harder than I have tried anything before in my life.

Stay well. Speak soon.

Rich
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Old 09-30-2004, 06:24 PM
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Hi Rich,
I applaud you for stretching yourself out into the "scary" zone of recovery.
Change is very frightening, but you're on the right road to growth. Stay with it and you know you've got support here.
Prayers, Sandy
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Old 09-30-2004, 06:32 PM
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Hi Rich
Feel free to vent and find support here.
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Old 10-01-2004, 02:25 AM
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Thanks to Sandy and Chy.

It's a beautiful morning here in the UK and I've had a decent night's sleep.

I run my own recruitment business with my g/f, who as I mentioned is away for a few days. Today is a tough day as she is at her ex b/f's wedding. Strange??. However I have loads of work to do. I will be going for a swim or maybe the gym at lunchtime. Later this afternoon, I am seeing our couples counsellor on my own.

Despite feeling a bit low, not tempted back into the bottle at all. There is much more to be had in life. Drinking consists only of mineral water (and coffee). The water thing is great but I'm drinking gallons of the stuff. Is that OK?
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Old 10-01-2004, 07:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Dunitall
Despite feeling a bit low, not tempted back into the bottle at all. There is much more to be had in life.
I just love hearing that. Friday, weekend is here and without booze it will last a long time.
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Old 10-01-2004, 08:48 AM
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Despite feeling a bit low, not tempted back into the bottle at all. There is much more to be had in life.
Rich,
You are so awesome! You're taking all the right steps even though you're feeling low. That takes a lot of courage and determination. I remember you saying on another thread that your ship has already come in. Now, don't put a hole in it by drinking! :nono:
Stay busy and enjoy the simple things you have in front of you until your girlfriend gets back. It may not seem like it, but separation from each other from time to time is a healthy thing. You can ask your counselor on that one.
Hope you have a wonderful day and keep up the good work. You're exactly where you need to be right now...and that's enough for now.
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Old 10-01-2004, 12:23 PM
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Hi Rich,
When I read your post, I couldn't help but notice that you mentioned not drinking and counseling. That's a great start but not all there is to getting sober.

You said that you failed to deal with some "personal issues" and you had some wine. When I got sober I didn't want to drink any more....at all. I started going to AA meetings and met some people who I could talk to about those "personal issues" so that when they came up, I didn't have to drink. I had friends to talk to.

That's my suggestion to you. Look up AA and attend some meetings. Let the people there know what you're trying to do and get some help from them. Counseling happens occasionally but my AA friends can be reached pretty much any time, day or night if I need them. I'm glad I didn't have to do the tough part by myself. I havn't had to take a drink since my first meeting and I owe it all to my friends in AA and my friend I call my Higher Power. Try it. It may work for you too.

Keep coming back.
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Old 10-01-2004, 01:02 PM
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Music

Thanks very much. Haven't gone to AA, but am going to counselling twice a week. Once to my own counsellor and once with my g/f to couples counselling. I feel pretty strong inside and am able to resist temptation....not that I generally feel tempted nowadays. Your comments and thoughts are much appreciated.

Sandy

You have struck a chord in terms of keeping busy, which Is exactly what I am doing. It's 9PM here in the UK and I'm just wrapping a few work issues before going to round up my sports kit for a game of rugby tomorrow.

My g/f is back at some point on Sunday. I'm then off to Scotland for 6 days on Monday. We have much to speak about in not very much time.

Hope all is well with you.

Rich
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Old 10-01-2004, 01:28 PM
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Good luck for the weekend Rich.
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Old 10-01-2004, 01:54 PM
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Thanks Sandy

Off to indulge myself with bath and music. May post later tonight, if not I''l be in touch over the weekend. All will be OK, with so much support from this site.

Rich
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