What is the point?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 341
What is the point?
This is probably the last time I will post on here as my constant complaining and relapse is wasting everyone's time.
This week, I have lost my job, car, and home. None of this was due to alcoholism.
My mom is ill with cancer and my employer announced he is selling my company. I walked out from having dinner with friends and someone had totaled my vehicle (which is only worth 3k) by hit and run.
I came home and my neighbor (shared house) was partying all night with a woman. Loud, drunk partying. (the sexual kind for hours). I have been up for 3 days angry, fed up, and told the landlord I want out of my lease or I will sue him as this is the third time I have called police on this man and I have been afraid up here alone with nowhere to go.
So, my PTSD has set in and I am drinking, again. Usually I would go to my moms but I called her and she said she just doesn't have time for me.
I don't think I am one of those people who is supposed to "be" sober. I just don't get it. No car, no job, no house (60 days) and I wasn't even drinking!
This week, I have lost my job, car, and home. None of this was due to alcoholism.
My mom is ill with cancer and my employer announced he is selling my company. I walked out from having dinner with friends and someone had totaled my vehicle (which is only worth 3k) by hit and run.
I came home and my neighbor (shared house) was partying all night with a woman. Loud, drunk partying. (the sexual kind for hours). I have been up for 3 days angry, fed up, and told the landlord I want out of my lease or I will sue him as this is the third time I have called police on this man and I have been afraid up here alone with nowhere to go.
So, my PTSD has set in and I am drinking, again. Usually I would go to my moms but I called her and she said she just doesn't have time for me.
I don't think I am one of those people who is supposed to "be" sober. I just don't get it. No car, no job, no house (60 days) and I wasn't even drinking!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Drinking will not help, you don't want health issues and bills on top of everything else. I hate to say it but life just sucks sometimes. Those are big problems but also temporary and fixable. If you do the right thing and refrain from alcohol you might see that one of these problems may even be the door to something else. Like maybe a better job, or better place to live, but you won't see anything if you drink.
It does sound like moving would be beneficial. Stay strong and don't drink, it is even more important to abstain while things are rough.
It does sound like moving would be beneficial. Stay strong and don't drink, it is even more important to abstain while things are rough.
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
I'm sorry to hear about all those rotten things happening to you. You seem to be implying that there is somehow a connection between all that and the fact that your weren't drinking. It's likely they would have happened either way (or could have been much worse), but I can guarantee you that drinking again now won't do anything to make it any better.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Thinks look pretty black right now and I wish there was something I could say that would make it all better for you. But I can't. Life does this, it throws all kinds of things at us, sometimes good, sometimes bad. Strangely many an alcoholic has relapsed when something good happens.
I can't live your life for you. I can tell you what happened with me. I came to AA with no job, no money, no family, no home and no prospects. This for me turned out to be the best possible circumstances in which to get sober. All the resistance was beaten out of me.
You had been dry a while when some of these problems came upon you. After I got sober, I began to build a life too, and life did exactly the same things to me. A few weeks in I was fired from a job. A few more weeks I was kicked out of a relationship and a house. My rocks all died, my wife, my father, my sponsor, my best friend, all to cancer. My wife was ill for a long time, and while I was nursing her my business was under attack from relatives who I had tried to help, and an important supplier. That was such a tough time and while all that was going on I needed to be a rock for my two children aged 11 and 13. I had no family I could turn to as both my mother and sister are chronic alcoholics and do whatever they can to make my life miserable.
Yet through all that it never occurred to me to drink. That was the other side of the coin. Like you with your daughter, I had to be a rock. Where did I get the strength for that? Through joining the AA program, working the steps, and developing a relationship with the God of my understanding. Just as the Big Book promised, I have been able to stay sober regardless of anything. My AA activity during those tough times did not consist of frantically rushing from one meeting to another to be "reminded" waht will happen if I drink. I just kept up regular attendance at my home group once a week, and I was sponsoring two men. That's it. That was all it took to keep me safe and protected, that and trying to live by AA principles.
You will get plenty of posts telling you don't drink, it will only get worse etc. I guess you already know that, and I guess if you could do that, you would. All I can suggest is making contact with AA when you feel ready.
If you do what I did, you might get what I got, which was the ability to handle life and stay sober no matter what, and an abiding feeling inside that I am on the right track.
I can't live your life for you. I can tell you what happened with me. I came to AA with no job, no money, no family, no home and no prospects. This for me turned out to be the best possible circumstances in which to get sober. All the resistance was beaten out of me.
You had been dry a while when some of these problems came upon you. After I got sober, I began to build a life too, and life did exactly the same things to me. A few weeks in I was fired from a job. A few more weeks I was kicked out of a relationship and a house. My rocks all died, my wife, my father, my sponsor, my best friend, all to cancer. My wife was ill for a long time, and while I was nursing her my business was under attack from relatives who I had tried to help, and an important supplier. That was such a tough time and while all that was going on I needed to be a rock for my two children aged 11 and 13. I had no family I could turn to as both my mother and sister are chronic alcoholics and do whatever they can to make my life miserable.
Yet through all that it never occurred to me to drink. That was the other side of the coin. Like you with your daughter, I had to be a rock. Where did I get the strength for that? Through joining the AA program, working the steps, and developing a relationship with the God of my understanding. Just as the Big Book promised, I have been able to stay sober regardless of anything. My AA activity during those tough times did not consist of frantically rushing from one meeting to another to be "reminded" waht will happen if I drink. I just kept up regular attendance at my home group once a week, and I was sponsoring two men. That's it. That was all it took to keep me safe and protected, that and trying to live by AA principles.
You will get plenty of posts telling you don't drink, it will only get worse etc. I guess you already know that, and I guess if you could do that, you would. All I can suggest is making contact with AA when you feel ready.
If you do what I did, you might get what I got, which was the ability to handle life and stay sober no matter what, and an abiding feeling inside that I am on the right track.
Catch 22
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 327
You really got the short end of the stick. I think you can forgive yourself for drinking. But that does not mean that once you get things together you can't have another go at quitting the bottle. But for now, be kind to yourself.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
It sounds like getting away from your neighbor will be a great relief. There are typically clauses in leases (called "quiet enjoyment" or something similar) that allow people to leave a rental in circumstances such as yours. It might also make the property owner responsible for some moving expenses (tho probably not).
Do you have car insurance? Will it pay for a rental vehicle? Perhaps you can get a better car eventually with the insurance settlement (again assuming you have insurance).
Perhaps the new owner of the company you work for will want employees that know how to operate things? If worse comes to worst then perhaps unemployment compensation will tide you over till a new (perhaps better) job comes along?
Changes are afoot. That does not necessarily mean that the changes will be bad.
Whats the point? The point is that $hit happens to everyone.
Sometimes you need to make lemonade.
Do you have car insurance? Will it pay for a rental vehicle? Perhaps you can get a better car eventually with the insurance settlement (again assuming you have insurance).
Perhaps the new owner of the company you work for will want employees that know how to operate things? If worse comes to worst then perhaps unemployment compensation will tide you over till a new (perhaps better) job comes along?
Changes are afoot. That does not necessarily mean that the changes will be bad.
Whats the point? The point is that $hit happens to everyone.
Sometimes you need to make lemonade.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
Sounds like a lot going on at once, but sometimes life is like that, for drinkers and non-drinkers and ex-drinkers too. I think you know, using all that as a justification to drink will lead to one more major problem on top of all the ones you have to deal with - a major problem that will even keep you from being able to successfully deal with the others, making everything much worse. 
stick with us x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
lifes a piece of crap sometimes and i dunno i've been faced with my fair share of problems that make me REALLY wanna drink but i always ask myself do i wanna add a drinking problem back into the mix. Do i really want 1 more problem on the fire? espcially the drinking of all the problems i could pick it is a real doosy.
i wouldnt jsut not post because you relapse tho. takes lots of people multipe times till it sticks.
i wouldnt jsut not post because you relapse tho. takes lots of people multipe times till it sticks.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,518
I agree - BBE - please don't go because things are in a mess. You are never a waste of time. We sympathize and understand like no one else can. Please don't let this turn into a binge - it's going to make you so miserable. 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,351
You're not wasting my time BBE.
I'm sorry for all you have going on
I've had some really bad times sober too. I got through it all (it doesn't always have to be gracefully) and better days always arrive
what I know for a fact is - drinking will make things 1000 times worse.
D
I'm sorry for all you have going on
I've had some really bad times sober too. I got through it all (it doesn't always have to be gracefully) and better days always arrive
what I know for a fact is - drinking will make things 1000 times worse.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 341
Wow. I am humbled by all the responses.
There is no way I can binge because I just don't have the alcohol to do it. I threw it all out and only have vodka. I hate vodka.
I also have no car so I can't drive.
I'm also dealing with a coworker who is on a binge. He's been with the company for 10 years and is in shock. So I've been up for days answering when my messenger goes off.
I have to stay sober. I know my next detox will be my last.
There is no way I can binge because I just don't have the alcohol to do it. I threw it all out and only have vodka. I hate vodka.
I also have no car so I can't drive.
I'm also dealing with a coworker who is on a binge. He's been with the company for 10 years and is in shock. So I've been up for days answering when my messenger goes off.
I have to stay sober. I know my next detox will be my last.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
So sorry you have so much going on, but really glad you posted here and hope to see you continue to use SR for support. My early sobriety was really all over the place and I surely needed the support. I'll be thinking of you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
Sometimes the saying "When it rains it pours" and sometimes life just happens. I am sorry so many things are going on right now, but drinking is only going to make things so much worse.
If you are feeling down, how about instead of drinking start working on solving some of the things you can. You have taken action towards getting out of your lease, so finding a new place to stay is in order. If money is an issue now, then perhaps looking into employment is first, living is second since you have 60 days. It is always hard when we lose our mode of transportation- is there anyway you can take a bus system? I have found that when a couple things go wrong in my life my first reaction is to freak out and curse life and the longer I am sober the more I take a deep breath write out the problems are then put a To Do List of the different steps I need to do in order to get that problem fixed.
If you continue to drink then you will not make any steps towards fixing your problems. I know it is hard, I know that our first reactions might be "Screw it" but you know that it is not the answer. It might help to go to an AA meeting just to connect with others, also meetings can be a great source to finding out job leads, places to rent for cheap, etc.
I know it is hard, be kind to yourself and take it one day and one step at a time.
HUGS. You are a lot stronger then you think! You CAN and WILL conquer all of this.
If you are feeling down, how about instead of drinking start working on solving some of the things you can. You have taken action towards getting out of your lease, so finding a new place to stay is in order. If money is an issue now, then perhaps looking into employment is first, living is second since you have 60 days. It is always hard when we lose our mode of transportation- is there anyway you can take a bus system? I have found that when a couple things go wrong in my life my first reaction is to freak out and curse life and the longer I am sober the more I take a deep breath write out the problems are then put a To Do List of the different steps I need to do in order to get that problem fixed.
If you continue to drink then you will not make any steps towards fixing your problems. I know it is hard, I know that our first reactions might be "Screw it" but you know that it is not the answer. It might help to go to an AA meeting just to connect with others, also meetings can be a great source to finding out job leads, places to rent for cheap, etc.
I know it is hard, be kind to yourself and take it one day and one step at a time.
HUGS. You are a lot stronger then you think! You CAN and WILL conquer all of this.
DOS: 08-16-2012
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Central Iowa
Posts: 365
I don't remember but do you attend AA?
I'm close to 4 years sober and before AA I would have viewed your life events just like you did, reasons to drink because poor me, my life is so bad and it's not fair. Now when I see your list I see all reasons why I absolutely could not drink. My mindset was changed by working with other alcoholics and learning that, for us, drinking will ALWAYS make things worse and never better.
This also seems like a great time for you to get to AA meetings. You'll find all sorts of folks who will happily give you rides to meetings and you just might get some help with your work situation. There are all sorts of possibilities that are open to you if you choose to see them and not the negatives.
By the way, postings like yours are a help to the rest of us. They are an opportunity for us to share and help others so thank you for your post and helping me be grateful for another day of my sobriety.
I'm close to 4 years sober and before AA I would have viewed your life events just like you did, reasons to drink because poor me, my life is so bad and it's not fair. Now when I see your list I see all reasons why I absolutely could not drink. My mindset was changed by working with other alcoholics and learning that, for us, drinking will ALWAYS make things worse and never better.
This also seems like a great time for you to get to AA meetings. You'll find all sorts of folks who will happily give you rides to meetings and you just might get some help with your work situation. There are all sorts of possibilities that are open to you if you choose to see them and not the negatives.
By the way, postings like yours are a help to the rest of us. They are an opportunity for us to share and help others so thank you for your post and helping me be grateful for another day of my sobriety.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Sober beats drunk any day!! I could list all that's happened in my life in the last year and I have 5 years sober. I didn't drink through it, though! Things will change!
So happy you are giving it another try!!!! Keep moving forward!!!!!
So happy you are giving it another try!!!! Keep moving forward!!!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
"externals" come and go, BBE.
what you have control over is whether you'll stay connected , here and other places. whether you'll put effort into this recovery stuff and how you're gonna do that. whether you'll cut yourself off from all support.
these are choices you get to make.
the rest of us have our choice whether we think responding and engaging with you is wasting our time.
stick around.
what you have control over is whether you'll stay connected , here and other places. whether you'll put effort into this recovery stuff and how you're gonna do that. whether you'll cut yourself off from all support.
these are choices you get to make.
the rest of us have our choice whether we think responding and engaging with you is wasting our time.
stick around.
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