Lightning Bug

Hi everyone! I just got home from a 30 rehab on Friday. Rehab was the best decision I ever made. The experience has truly saved my life. The homecoming, on the other hand, has been a a disaster! I technically stopped drinking in April, but I got triggered by something I don't even remember and got my Klonopin script and beer (icky ). And relapsed. I was a dry drunk from alcohol, stopped drinking but made no changes in behavior. Rehab was the only choice for me.

So transitioning into the real world from rehab has been more stressful and anxiety ridden than going into treatment from my unmanageable mess of a life.

I have ADHD. I used to live in chaos. My life was like a new jumbo puzzle. A thousand pieces in a box that needed to be put together. Rehab gave me structure, a routine, accoubtability and a rigid set of rules. Suddenly I was empowered because order was created and enforced. I have never in my life had that! So transition to home has been a nightmare. My structure and routine exploded and I was thrown headfirst back into chaos. I am slowly putting the lessons I learned to use to create what I had, and I am making progress.

I have a great aftercare plan. I have IOP 3 days a week and AA on the remaining days. And I read here everyday.

Glad to be here!

PS I am keeping a daily accountability log over on the Newcomers forum if you are interested to read more. It is called Lightning Bug's Daily Accountability. It is keeping me focused.

AdelineRose

I too used to to live in chaos, and what I have found is the more structured my life is the healthier I am mentally and physically. I also have generalized anxiety, treatment resistant depression and bipolar type 2 so I feel having a structure actually comes me and keeps me in a better head space (that coupled with my proper medication).

If you have found that structure worked best for you, take a step back from your life and create a schedule. I personally make to do lists and I accomplish everything on my day to do list. I also make a weekly or do list and a monthly to keep me on track with my goals. It makes me feel accomplished and healther to see myself cross each thing off. What I am trying to say is just do what works for YOU- if you need structure create structure, if you need accountability get people that will check in with you regularly and keep you accountable, if emotionally you feel down there is substance counseling. If you think you need medication that goes toward specific mood or stress problems- there are doctors that specialize in addiction. Whatever you need to do to stay sober and healthy then tackled each problem with a solution

That is just my 2 cents.

phlowing

Congrats on making the decision of Rebah. But you are right in that it is only a first step; the world is chatic! I too am ADHD and general depression/axiety dignosis, things I used to drink away to the point of dependence. I have a year without a drink and the first 6 months or so were very tough, to be completely honest. My 2 cents on what worked for me: Therapy and meetings. I chose SMART recovery but whatever works for you. It's a commitment to make and helps in talking things out. Do you have a job? Dive into it 100%. Post it notes and written lists organized the way that works for you. Exersize, running and biking esp., helped tremendously. I decided on Meds, at least for the short term, for ADHD and depression, and that has helped. Ive begun meditating, and that has helped. Spend time with family and friends. Really quick and random, but all these things slowly added up and life is making a lot more sense. Good luck, every little bit counts!! It gets better!

SoberCAH

We are very happy that you are here, earth.

Treatment and AA were the only choices I had when I finally sought help.

They have worked for me.

Please keep us posted as to your progress.

Having co-occurring mental health issues is rather prevalent, so it's good you are seeking help for those issues as well.

Gottalife

I remember similar experiences when I left rehab. I arrived back at my flat to find my flatmates, none of whom bothered to visit me, were full of resentment toward me and had sold most of my stuff to cover the rent money I had drank. I wouldn't do the AA thing, managed to not drink until the end of my court sentence, then away I went again.

That discipline and organisation was something I found really helpful in rehab. I think the court sentence had the same effect. But when that external element was gone I was back to my old undiscplined self. You will find something about that in the AA Big Book.