I'm brand new and a little unsure of this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 23
I'm brand new and a little unsure of this.
My husband was diagnosed with cirrhosis 2 years ago. His liver is functioning completely but his platelets are affected and therefore quite low. He has been to outpatient rehab which he loved and goes to weekly AA. He's been taking 250 mg Antabuse for a couple of months. I randomly breathalyzed him the other day and it was 0.07. He told me he has been drinking (he drinks beer) while on it and it doesn't affect him. His hepatolgist finds this difficult to believe...
Regardless, I'm having great difficulty.
Regardless, I'm having great difficulty.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
welcome, Ginny.
great you found us; lots of support and understanding. i'm sorry to hear about your challenging situation. if you check farther down the forum lists, you'll find one for "family and friends" and lots of folk there who understand the spot you're in.
you have a lot going on and i hope you find a way to take care of yourself.
great you found us; lots of support and understanding. i'm sorry to hear about your challenging situation. if you check farther down the forum lists, you'll find one for "family and friends" and lots of folk there who understand the spot you're in.
you have a lot going on and i hope you find a way to take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 40
I'm sorry that you and your husband are going thru that. The only thing i know about Antibuse is how it effected my friend. She would get violently ill if she even tried to drink anything....she learned her lesson after the first time. I wish i could give you advice, but I do hope everything works out for you.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,352
I'm sorry for what brings you here Ginny but I know you'll find support.
Does your husband believe beer doesn't count? (not being funny, I've met people who seem to genuinely think/hope that)
It definitely counts and anyone serious about recovery or their health would need to look at that IMO.
What do you think?
D
Does your husband believe beer doesn't count? (not being funny, I've met people who seem to genuinely think/hope that)
It definitely counts and anyone serious about recovery or their health would need to look at that IMO.
What do you think?
D
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome Ginny, sorry to hear of your troubles. As mentioned we do have a friends and family section here, but you are always welcome here. Seeking help for yourself via al-anon may help in dealing with some of your frustrations/difficulties as well. Regarding the breathalyzer, it's also possible he is not taking the Antabuse anymore, alcoholics will go to great length to hide their addiction unfortunately.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 23
Thank you for these responses. I did find the family and friends forum but for some reason I thought I was meant to post here first. Do I just begin again and introduce myself in that forum?
As far as does my husband think beer doesn't count, beer is what he has always drank so I would have to answer no. Also, I both administer the Antabuse to him, watch him swallow it, and check his mouth and under his tongue. I purposely have him stay around a bit in the event he would try and throw it up.
We have been married 26 years and have 5 children. He is a HFA who in the 30 years we've been together has for the most part drank beer each night. It wasn't until his diagnosis and his inability to stay sober (he drinks in secret) that he actually considered he had a drinking problem.
As far as does my husband think beer doesn't count, beer is what he has always drank so I would have to answer no. Also, I both administer the Antabuse to him, watch him swallow it, and check his mouth and under his tongue. I purposely have him stay around a bit in the event he would try and throw it up.
We have been married 26 years and have 5 children. He is a HFA who in the 30 years we've been together has for the most part drank beer each night. It wasn't until his diagnosis and his inability to stay sober (he drinks in secret) that he actually considered he had a drinking problem.
Last edited by GinnyV; 07-26-2016 at 12:16 AM. Reason: Typo
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,352
Hi Ginny
It's not mandatory but yeah it's good to introduce yourself - they're a fine bunch of people in that forum just as we are here 
I have no personal experience with Antabuse, but it works for a lot of people.
For others it doesn't - it either doesn't make them sick or they press on through the feeling sick.
Sounds like your husbad is really fighting the idea of being sober.
I'm not surprised - I have seen many similar stories - but I'm sad for you and your family.
I'm really glad you found us tho - you're not alone in this anymore
D
Originally Posted by GinnyV 
Thank you for these responses. I did find the family and friends forum but for some reason I thought I was meant to post here first. Do I just begin again and introduce myself in that forum?
As far as does my husband think beer doesn't count, beer is what he has always drank so I would have to answer no. Also, I both administer the Antabuse to him, watch him swallow it, and check his mouth and under his tongue. I purposely have him stay around a bit in the event he would try and throw it up.
For others it doesn't - it either doesn't make them sick or they press on through the feeling sick.
We have been married 26 years and have 5 children. He is a HFA who in the 30 years we've been together has for the most part rank beer each night. It wasn't until his diagnosis and his inability to stay sober (he drinks in secret) that he actually considered he had a drinking problem.
I'm not surprised - I have seen many similar stories - but I'm sad for you and your family.
I'm really glad you found us tho - you're not alone in this anymore
D
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by GinnyV
Thank you for these responses. I did find the family and friends forum but for some reason I thought I was meant to post here first. Do I just begin again and introduce myself in that forum?
As far as does my husband think beer doesn't count, beer is what he has always drank so I would have to answer no. Also, I both administer the Antabuse to him, watch him swallow it, and check his mouth and under his tongue. I purposely have him stay around a bit in the event he would try and throw it up.
We have been married 26 years and have 5 children. He is a HFA who in the 30 years we've been together has for the most part drank beer each night. It wasn't until his diagnosis and his inability to stay sober (he drinks in secret) that he actually considered he had a drinking problem.
As far as does my husband think beer doesn't count, beer is what he has always drank so I would have to answer no. Also, I both administer the Antabuse to him, watch him swallow it, and check his mouth and under his tongue. I purposely have him stay around a bit in the event he would try and throw it up.
We have been married 26 years and have 5 children. He is a HFA who in the 30 years we've been together has for the most part drank beer each night. It wasn't until his diagnosis and his inability to stay sober (he drinks in secret) that he actually considered he had a drinking problem.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by GinnyV
Thank you for these responses. I did find the family and friends forum but for some reason I thought I was meant to post here first. Do I just begin again and introduce myself in that forum?
As far as does my husband think beer doesn't count, beer is what he has always drank so I would have to answer no. Also, I both administer the Antabuse to him, watch him swallow it, and check his mouth and under his tongue. I purposely have him stay around a bit in the event he would try and throw it up.
We have been married 26 years and have 5 children. He is a HFA who in the 30 years we've been together has for the most part drank beer each night. It wasn't until his diagnosis and his inability to stay sober (he drinks in secret) that he actually considered he had a drinking problem.
As far as does my husband think beer doesn't count, beer is what he has always drank so I would have to answer no. Also, I both administer the Antabuse to him, watch him swallow it, and check his mouth and under his tongue. I purposely have him stay around a bit in the event he would try and throw it up.
We have been married 26 years and have 5 children. He is a HFA who in the 30 years we've been together has for the most part drank beer each night. It wasn't until his diagnosis and his inability to stay sober (he drinks in secret) that he actually considered he had a drinking problem.
It does strike me, reading this particular post of yours that you are trying to get sober for him. This never works, and scary as it might seem, the only way he is going to find his way in HIS sobriety is for him to take responsibility for it himself. While he is silently fighting you on it, there is almost a sense of him and his AV being like naughty schoolboys on a jolly jape, evading your authority. And that, to an alcoholic, doesn't seem so insane. It's almost fun. And for an alcoholic, involves pretty low scale deception. But when we start fighting our own selves, that's when we realise quite what we're up against and the hold that alcohol has over us, and the complete insanity of the situation. It's like learning to ride a bike. No matter how much we love someone, or would give our lives for them, we cannot do it for them. They have to get on the bike, and go through the falls and the fear, and gradually get their own balance. And if he doesn't want to get sober, there is nothing you can do or say that's going to do that for him.
You say he is going to AA. I suspect that he is just going to meetings and is not working the steps with a sponsor. Again. You can't make him do this. But you can refocus your energy on yourself, and how his addiction affects you, so that you can stop being his nursemaid and taking responsibility for him. If you have not yet checked out AlAnon I really think it would be worthwhile. At the end of the day, the only way that his drinking is your business in how it affects you. You might decide that you don't want to live in that chaos any more (the chaos that he is inviting back in to your home and your relationship by persisting to toy with his drug of choice as an addict), but it doesn't sound like that's where you are right now. So all you can do is focus on what you CAN change, and that is yourself and how it affects your life and your actions. Scary stuff.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by GinnyV
You're absolutely right. I feel like I'm an incredibly intelligent woman and yet, you're making me aware of something that I wasn't aware of.
Thank you
Thank you
Redmayne
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
Alcoholism, as I understand it...
Alcoholism, as I understand it is the only disease/illness that'll kill you whilst at the same time telling you, you haven't got it! The only respite from which is abstinence.
On this basis, having regard to all the circumstances you've described it appears that there is an element of recognition and acceptance by your spouse that still needs to be worked on and whilst others can share their experience, strength and hope, sobriety is an individual responsibility.
No one got sober sitting at an AA meeting, you have to do it for yourself...until that happens the only person you're fooling is yourself.
On this basis, having regard to all the circumstances you've described it appears that there is an element of recognition and acceptance by your spouse that still needs to be worked on and whilst others can share their experience, strength and hope, sobriety is an individual responsibility.
No one got sober sitting at an AA meeting, you have to do it for yourself...until that happens the only person you're fooling is yourself.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Originally Posted by GinnyV
My husband was diagnosed with cirrhosis 2 years ago. His liver is functioning completely but his platelets are affected and therefore quite low. He has been to outpatient rehab which he loved and goes to weekly AA. He's been taking 250 mg Antabuse for a couple of months. I randomly breathalyzed him the other day and it was 0.07. He told me he has been drinking (he drinks beer) while on it and it doesn't affect him. His hepatolgist finds this difficult to believe...
Regardless, I'm having great difficulty.
Regardless, I'm having great difficulty.
Anyway, I waited 2 weeks to have a drink...and I ended in hospital because I had SUCH a REACTION.
How does he take this medicine? Do you watch him? Do you know that ASPRIN looks very similar to Antabuse?
My parents (and I was almost 40) watched me take it nightly - I had to DRIVE to their house...and I figured out they looked like asprin at one point and i replaced them.
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: upstate new york
Posts: 131
hi ginny
it sounds to me like the added motivation to the willpower to abstain from drinking isn't working for your husband and that's all it does as you probably know. it didn't work for me either.
about 25 yrs. ago my pcp at the time prescribed me Antabuse when I came clean with him about my struggle. I have no idea what the dose was. just like your husband I am/was basically a big time beer drinker. after a day or 2 I thought I could just have a beer or 2 , how much could that do. and that's all I had. from the best of my memory I started getting this awfull taste in my mouth that seemed like it was in my lungs. I could taste it when I breathed. also very nauseous followed by a splitting headache, face feeling like it was on fire and developed hives on my neck and arms. it was very unpleasant to say the least. just from a beer or2. the next day I tossed the Antabuse and carried on with the beers. maybe you could discuss with your dr. something more in line with treating cravings/withdrawals. they are out there. I am currently taking one that is processed thru the kidneys, don't know the rules,new member yesterday so won't mention a name. it does help take the edge off for me. my 3rd day abstinent . god bless your husband I can feel for him....mark
it sounds to me like the added motivation to the willpower to abstain from drinking isn't working for your husband and that's all it does as you probably know. it didn't work for me either.
about 25 yrs. ago my pcp at the time prescribed me Antabuse when I came clean with him about my struggle. I have no idea what the dose was. just like your husband I am/was basically a big time beer drinker. after a day or 2 I thought I could just have a beer or 2 , how much could that do. and that's all I had. from the best of my memory I started getting this awfull taste in my mouth that seemed like it was in my lungs. I could taste it when I breathed. also very nauseous followed by a splitting headache, face feeling like it was on fire and developed hives on my neck and arms. it was very unpleasant to say the least. just from a beer or2. the next day I tossed the Antabuse and carried on with the beers. maybe you could discuss with your dr. something more in line with treating cravings/withdrawals. they are out there. I am currently taking one that is processed thru the kidneys, don't know the rules,new member yesterday so won't mention a name. it does help take the edge off for me. my 3rd day abstinent . god bless your husband I can feel for him....mark
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 23
I'm not quite so sure how to respond to the last two posts so please know this is for both of them.
Yes, I have checked to make certain it is Antabuse. And yes, I not only watch him swallow it (with a clear glass and me looking at the bottom), I have checked all over his mouth after. His hepatolgist feels he is spitting it up but I don't believe so. He told me he gets a terrible headache and anxiety but hasn't expressed more. He has also been on Naltrexone and it did not curb cravings.
He sat down with me and all of our children tonight to explain where he's at. It was beyond emotionally tortuous to watch our children express their fears and concerns and disappointments. I don't believe he thinks he is an alcoholic. I honestly don't. He will never be able to take the steps until he can truly acknowledge his addiction. He will die from this I'm certain.
Yes, I have checked to make certain it is Antabuse. And yes, I not only watch him swallow it (with a clear glass and me looking at the bottom), I have checked all over his mouth after. His hepatolgist feels he is spitting it up but I don't believe so. He told me he gets a terrible headache and anxiety but hasn't expressed more. He has also been on Naltrexone and it did not curb cravings.
He sat down with me and all of our children tonight to explain where he's at. It was beyond emotionally tortuous to watch our children express their fears and concerns and disappointments. I don't believe he thinks he is an alcoholic. I honestly don't. He will never be able to take the steps until he can truly acknowledge his addiction. He will die from this I'm certain.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
my heart goes out to you, Ginny.
but that doesn't help you.
please get all the help for yourself and your kids which is available. it's out there, not only on SR but in "real life", too.
if you see 12-step program as being a solution, please look into it for yourself.
but that doesn't help you.
please get all the help for yourself and your kids which is available. it's out there, not only on SR but in "real life", too.
if you see 12-step program as being a solution, please look into it for yourself.
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