Suicidal again?
 

Hey guys, I'm gonna keep it short.

I've started becoming suicidal again this past week after a few months. I feel very ashamed to talk about this. I keep thinking about death and how it's so easy to die and theres a way out from all this. Just jump out of my apartment of 12 floors and i'd die immediately? . My attempts at quitting cold turkey worked for awhile but now I'm back to drinking. However i don't think that alcohol is the problem now. I just feel depressed again like i did last year . I REALLY want to die right now, maybe its just going to be like this for a couple of weeks. I thought of going to a therapist or something but i figured they would just throw me in a mental institute for a couple of weeks for being suicidal and give me a bunch of meds. Why is it that i am only 18 years old and i feel like ******* ****. I see other people my age having a hell of a time partying and everything, but i just can't do that anymore. I want to be left alone all the time and i don't really like going out to meet family or friends. **** like this has been going on for years now but i don't see this getting any better?

you need professional help this is not the place, get help

If you are truly feeling suicidal please call 911.

This link has a wealth of information about suicide help and hotlines.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

You don't want to die. You just don't want to continue living like this.
And you don't have to, you are young, you can turn your life completely around.
First thing would be to stop drinking, it's a depressant, of course you are going to feel down while you are dosing yourself with it.
Then you need to go to the doctors, and tell him/her exactly how you are feeling, you don't know they will throw you in a psych ward..you don't know how how they could help until you try it.
Suicide is so final, and your family would have to live with it for the rest of their lives. Do you really want to put them through that, without trying every avenue you could possibly go down to get help for yourself?

One of the biggest things my wife and I both gained from in-patient treatment was that there were many who were much worse off than I was, and I was lucky to have what I did. Be grateful and take some steps to save your life.

PS..and I bet not EVERY 18 year old is having a high old time, it's a very difficult age, lots of pressure, so there will be other people your age feeling the same.

The bold statement. THIS.

Inpatient help may be what you truly need, it sounds that way to me (I've dealt with depressions since my mid-teens, so 20 years ago now). One of the worst spells I had (that I did actually attempt suicide) I was drinking heavily, and that was just a year and a half ago. I've had past attempts, this one was by far the worst. Being sober, my depression is less than I can ever remember - I don't want that to sound discouraging, that isn't the point. I know quitting drinking is a difficult thing to do, especially when your mood is so down. I say it to hope you see that it really is contributing to your depressive mood and suicidal ideation. Please don't let it win.

You're worth seeking whatever help you need, please do it now. Don't wait.

The difference is , i don't have any pressure. Maybe I'm just ******* stupid . I dropped out of school when i was 14, I've been drinking for 6 years , my parents don't give a **** . My sisters are all happily married and far away from me . Maybe i just feel very alone. Whatever it is, thanks for the replies everybody : )

It could also be that your drinking is causing most/all of your problems. Alchohol is a depressant, so if you are depressed to begin with drinking makes it even worse.

I'd still suggest you see a therapist or counselor, even if they do suggest you go into a treatment program of some kind would that be the worst thing in the world? You'd be with people who are solely concerned with your well being and helping you to get out from under your addiction.

And Id' re-iterate - if you are actually feeling suicidal please seek immediate help.

It's a pressure just being 18..and feeling like you should be heading somewhere with your life. It's pressure feeling and being alone at your age. Theres a pressure to achieve.
My son is a mental health nurse, the reason he stays with the job, he says, is seeing the way people come to the ward, in the frame of mind you are in now, and after treatment (both in and outpatient) seeing them ready to take on life again. It's your illness talking not you, the real you without all of these chemical imbalances in your brain that depression and drink cause, is still there waiting for you.

I agree with scott alcohol is a depressent etc..

Lifes a piece of crap but it doesnt have to be that way. The one thing you can count on is life being life. But you dont have to feel the way that you do. All this stuff you feel bad about all these thoughts you have about this and that is just that and thats all that it is. You dont have to latch on ot it and allow it to define you. You dont have to stew in your own poo etc...You dont have to let it fester and such. Being in a funk and a pit stinks been there done that I still fall in once in a while but I dont like to stay there.

I agree call a suicide hotline if its this dire. Other wise go out for a walk enjoy the sunshine dont stay in this mind set thats not going to do you any good.

I cant imagine you like feeling how you do now?

I gotta say too I"m glad your only 18 and your posting here. I mean think about it. thats a pretty dang good thing.

It's been like this for some time . Last december i quit alcohol cold turkey for almost 5-6 months . I had a job ,and was doing well and even working out again, but i keep ending up in the same place no matter what , drunk and lost . Anyway thanks man, i think i will get some help when I'm sober . i have not been sober in 9 days .

A friend of mine told me that too. That its good that I'm thinking about my alcohol and substance abuse at a young age, and that most people don't admit its a problem for a really long time until their much older.

Thank's everybody for the replies.

yea life has its ups and downs. I guess you start to figure out how to roll with the punches. become accepting that its not always peaches and sunshine but you dont have to sink to suicidal type lows either.

more often then not when i feel down I kinda just shrug and keep moving forward. I guess i'm just accepting of things just being how they are. how they are is how they are suppost to be etc.. I also grew tired of the struggles etc...

When my mind starts taking me down to those suicidal type thoughts. when i start thinking how insignificant i am and what is hte point and so on. I'll counter it with yeah wtf does it matter? if all of those bad thoughts are true so what I'm still just gonna move forward. I may never have an answer to some of "those" questions but I dont have to sit there trying to answer them either. I can go think about something more stimulating.

get a sober day under your belt and go work out! that will do a world of good for depression etc..

when i was your age i probably would have come to a sight like this and laughed and continued on drinking. if i even bothered to come to this site which i didnt.

but it shows you do care about your well being. tackle the issues while you still care. I got to the point where i just didnt even care. i was a total mess the movie bad santa comes to mind *Sigh*.

Nothing changes, if nothing changes, Corse.

It may be time to take a leap of faith, and get yourself into rehab.

You're young , you can turn this around with some professional help.

Alcohol will rob you of everything, even your sanity.

Please consider everyone's suggestions.

Seeking help takes courage... you've taken the first step by posting.

I'm proud of you. :hug:

get professional help asap, so many here have experienced what you are feeling and going through, I have, get help.

We're always here if you need to talk I really agree with Scott's advice please seek help corse x