Jfire

Hope everybody is well around here

Life is great since I last posted ( in the midst of serious withdrawl I think
I'm 7-8 months sober going to meetings and aftercare, got an awesome little house beside world class surf reef ,plus driving and economically sound , Sobriety works ! but not without a few bumps in the road.

So whats missing ?, nothing much but on the subject of romance in early recovery , I'll take heed and back out if need be but was on a nice date yesterday , pretty and funny , a keeper! , have not kissed in 8 months and happy enough solo but yeah I got to admit that having "someone" would be great but also aware that any emotional dents could lead to a sobriety crash.

Making the right decision would be better than what could go wrong in the future.

It could be worse I guess

ScottFromWI

Sounds like things are going very well for you Jfire, congrats! A little house by the ocean sounds very cool to me in itself!

Regarding the relationship, only you will know when you are "ready"....and I think it's good that you are here seeking advice and taking it slow. New romance is always enticing for both....but a full time relationship always has it's hardships to deal with too. Being ready for them is the real key...and you will get there eventually.

Gottalife

This is just about the worst place to come for relationship advice, perhaps second only to AA. AA (the program)doesn't try to give advice on this for two good reasons. Number one we are more experienced at making a mess of things than having successful relationships, and number two, relationships are part of life and as such have no bearing on whether you will get sober or not.

The program is not about perfection. While it may make sense to hold back on any heavy stuff in the first few weeks, while we get on with the steps, there comes a time when the obsession is lifted and it is time to step into the world. That is where we may make mistakes. AA meetings and steps do not prepare a person for a relationship. They are merely part of a program to treat alcoholism.

The preparation for relationships is the same for all human beings. Trial and error, pain and growth. Waiting will not eliminate mistakes, but the AA program will enable us to learn from our mistakes instead of drink over them.

Wife or no wife etc, we simply do not stop drinking while we are depending on other people instead of God, is how the book goes.

When the time is right, God will drop someone right in your lap. It took a bit longer for me than you, but if your relationship with him is right, you can do anything that free men can do, and that includes relationships.