sdi9285

So, I'm 38 days sober (Yay!), and I'm feeling absolutely amazing. Physically and emotionally I feel better than I have in a really, really long time. I don't even want a drink, and I feel almost like this is too easy right now. I only recently learned about the "pink cloud" that many in recovery find themselves in. Has anyone else had any experience with this? I'm a little concerned that I'm going to just drop off some edge and lose all my positivity and happiness.

Also, just wanted to share this because I don't know if it's normal. I hear about people having drinking dreams, and I do have those, but they always end with the same: extreme stress, and anxiety and being insanely upset that I've ruined my sobriety and have to start from day 1 again. They're actually a pretty good reminder for me. They also start with me somehow "accidentally" taking a drink. Hard to explain, but doing it without a thought, like someone puts a shot in front of me and I do it almost out of reflex. It's strange.

Anyway, I guess I'm just looking for some input. Is this all too good to be true? Am I a weirdo? Haha. Thanks everyone!

REsoberALITY

Congrats on your 38 days! I wish I could help you on this "pink cloud" thing...... I think everyone is different though depending on a multitude of factors that led them to where they are. I'm sure someone on here will have some input for you though. Have a great sober day!

least

I had a bit of 'pink cloud' for a while in early recovery. It was rather disconcerting to suddenly fall off it and come back to reality, but I enjoyed it while it lasted. Have a plan in place for when it wears off.

uncorked

I'm almost 9 months sober and I guess I'm still on a "pink cloud," whatever that is. Being sober is way easier than I ever thought it would be. I'm not taking it for granted -- read too many relapse stories on here. And I've avoided putting myself in situations where temptation might be an issue. But so far, so good.

Hevyn

Not a weirdo.
I didn't have the pink cloud thing. I drank for decades & have been sober over 8 yrs.

Drinking dreams I did have for a couple months, just a few. They were disconcerting for sure - but I felt such relief & gratitude afterwards.

Congrats on your 38 days, sdi! Proud of you.

TheEnd

The "Pink Cloud" for me is off and on type of feeling. At 5 years sober, it's not present at every moment of the day as it was in early in recovery but it pops up every now and then, especially when I take the time to realize where I am and where I have come from. I don't think you have to worry about suddenly falling off one day. It is never that dramatic for me. As you continue to remain sober and pass through all your firsts, "First Birthday Sober, First whatever sober.......... the novelty begins to wear off. It's still there, but most of the time you will just be living your life as you gain more sobriety. Sobriety will be like normal thing after a while and it won't seem so magical anymore, even though when you think back to where you came from, it's still a special thing.

Whodathunk

For me the pink cloud thing (and similar to others I have heard in my home group) is that great feeling that you are feeling, but that the accompanying danger is that many people (including me) felt that I must not really have a problem, 'like everyone else', and it only took one drink, and off I went. (I have never been able to have just one, at the end of my drinking it was to blackout every day).

So my spin on it (and from what I have heard) is that the pink cloud can offer a false sense of security and bring thoughts of being able to drink, and of 'not really' being an alcoholic.

Also commonly added to "Pink Clouds" is "Unicorns", but I really have never understood what it meant.

If I am wrong on my understanding, well hey, it worked for me. I remember that feeling oh so well. It took me months to bet to 90 days for that very reason you explained.

BTW, I was sober 2.5 years and did not have a pink cloud moment, but I WAS convinced that I had done my time and could drink socially. This was in April 2015. It ended very badly, and took me till July 10, 2015 to finally put together 24 hours. Yep, that would be one year coming up tomorrow if I can make it, and my goal is to never have a 3rd one year chip that I am gunning for......

Great Post!!! Good luck! Glad you're here!!!!!!!!!

Whodathunk

I found this online. More there if you google "pink clouds and unicorns in alcoholism"

http://alcoholrehab.com/addiction-recovery/pink-cloud/

tursiops999

Hi sdi -- I too had a "pink cloud" experience, just feeling like a million bucks physically and mentally, very euphoric. It was somewhere in months 2 and 3. I just enjoyed it while it lasted. Since then I've had mild ups and downs, mostly up though ... things are much better sober.

I also had drinking dreams, and as you describe, the drink was somehow accidental ... like I "forgot", or thought it was a glass of water but it was wine, etc. I rarely have them anymore.

I think these experiences are fairly common in sobriety.

Jack465

I had it from about 2 weeks sober to 1 month sober.

I remember reading that you get this when the initial withdrawal is finished but the post-acute withdrawal (PAWS) hasn't started yet. Can anyone confirm/deny that? It definitely felt that way for me.

fini

sdi,
i had something similar, not the pink cloud part but the "this seems too easy" part about not drinking.
in the years since, the obsession has not returned, but reality of sober living started to hit me differently, and after a couple of years i needed to address the realization that drinking had not been my problem but my solution.

Turtle76

I experienced the pink cloud for about the first 2 months. I was ecstatic for my newfound sobriety and having all sorts of epiphanies and lots of energy. I thought it seemed so easy too. Somewhere around 2 and half months I fell off the cloud. The anxiety set in and the reality of my alcoholism set in and the serious work I had ahead of me to maintain sobriety. I started to sort of seesaw between the cloud and the anxiety. Its balancing out some as I approach 6 months. But its still a crap shoot most days. Some days up... somedays down. I agree with another post, be prepared for the cloud to wear off. It might, or might not... but best to prepare for the worst case scenario. Have a plan... like someone u can call if anxiety sets in and they can talk u off the ledge. Or adding some exercise to boost your mood if depression hits. Understand though... whatever it is you are experiencing... this too shall pass. Both positive and negative emotions are going to pass. You need to be prepared on how to handle both. So far, in my sobriety, the positive definately outweighs the negative though!! 😁

Change4good

This was me exactly. My pink cloud was a feeling of liberation. I wasn't shackled to alcohol anymore, so I could drive anyway, never suffer hangovers, never have to worry about having enough alcohol.

I could be there completely for my kids.
I could volunteer anywhere, and show up.
I could lose weight and exercise.
I could confidently engage in any conversation.

And then I thought I could have a couple. Then I was no longer liberated, but shackled again. So I did have a pink cloud, and then it turned into a turbulent thunderstorm when I went back out.

Gottalife

I believe the expression "pink cloud" is a rather unfortunate way of describing a period of God's grace or window of opportunity. It is a free sample of what it is like to be recovered, totally free of alcohol. Relative to my drinking, recovery has been one long "pink cloud".

But there is always a catch. A lot of folk find themselves in this space and believe that's all there is to it, they need take no action themselves to lock it in. If they do that, the cloud has an unknown expiry date, it may be a week, a month or a year, but it goes, the window of opportunity closes and the insanity of the first drink returns.

The window is a wonderful gift if we make use of it to change what needs to be changed, to do what needs to be done. And it can be permanent.

sdi9285

Thanks everyone for so many great responses.

I'm really hoping this feeling will last. I was so depressed for so long, maybe this is what a normal person feels like? Who knows. I definitely don't feel like I can have any drinks. I know that I can't, and I don't even want to. This time around, I don't seem to be forgetting all the hangovers and regrets. I won't let myself. I also don't feel like I don't have to do the work. I'm not going to any AA meetings or doing the steps or anything, but I'm still consistently reading around here and posting, plus the majority of my free time I spend reading memoirs of recovery. I also did buy the AA book to read, out of curiosity. It's an interesting read so far.

I'll be on the lookout if I lose these feelings to make sure I work even harder at my sobriety. Right now, I'll use my good feelings to make some progress and work on myself even more.

Thanks again!

August252015

I had much pink cloud for the bulk of my early recovery, most of 90 days. I am only just about to 5mo now, but it has been in the last month or so, that a lot of emotional thawing has come in - as well as the daily ups and downs of life.

Without going on further about this-others have said things I would say-one succinct way my sponsor summed up the pink cloud stuff was this:
'Think of the pink clouds, the peaceful feeling, the calm and confident stuff that you're in a good place - as what you want to have: a good life." That doesn't have to go away, it can be your goal, and focus, and balance; you can face the challenges of life but come back to this place, as you work your recovery tools and strengthen your faith." Makes sense to me - and it's certainly a positive way to look at the kind of life I can make!

fini

I'll be on the lookout if I lose these feelings to make sure I work even harder at my sobriety.

this is an interesting sentence, and an even more interesting implication. which is: you could work harder.

which brings me to this question: why not do everything you can? why wait and see until something happens (losing these feelings, or...?) before you make sure you work even harder?

if you've got "more" to give to this sobriety-thing, give it. why hold it in reserve?

sdi9285

Very good point! Well, I am a firm believer in the fact that there is always room for improvement. But, I'm not doing the whole AA thing. I'm currently reading the AA book, because I find it pretty interesting, but spirituality is just not something I can get behind. So, I'm trying to read the book with an open mind in case I get to a point where I do need to try something different and maybe find a way around all of the spirituality stuff.

Gottalife

If your own power is up to the task then all this higher power business is completly unneccessary. Most people wont even look for a higher power until their own resources fail. Why would they?

soberlicious

To me, the term pink cloud is somewhat derogatory, in that sometimes the connotation is that this is not a real state of being...that the joy one can feel in being free from alcohol is simply false hope, or somehow that if you allow yourself to revel in that feeling then that spells your demise. I personally don't think that I will somehow go back to drinking directly because of that feeling of freedom. To me, fully understanding that my feeling of freedom is a direct result of not drinking, keeps things pretty clear for me. Other models of recovery describe a similar phenomenon, for instance RR calls it ACE (Abstinence Commitment Effect). I think that from a biological standpoint, many of us experienced acute anxiety and depression brought on by flooding our brains artificially with alcohol and/or other substances. The experience of that being lifted when I quit was palpable. It's no wonder my brain was doing the happy dance, with good reason.