Kindling and future medical issues
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Kindling and future medical issues
I was watching a show where this old woman who had basically no say or control over her doctors and was in bed and they decided she was "agitated" (well who wouldn't be, these days) and they gave her something ending in "zapem,"and you know that's a benzo.
Now that kicked up a whole new fear and a really bad feeling because I have that sensitivity to kindling now and I fear I will be given a thing that will put me into withdrawals again and I will die, it could be tomorrow or 20 years from now.
Plus I feel I will have to tell all doctors from now on not only that I am alcoholic and cannot have a benzo but that it could kill me and this makes me feel like I have to always identify as an alkie and remind myself of how bad it is and that I have probable permanent damage because oft his, and that makes my health anxiety about 100 times worse to have to think of that all the tome now... and did I mention I have chronic anxiety and can't take a benzo?
You see what I mean?
And not to mention that I am screwed when I eventually get insurance because the doctors are going to have to know that I am recovered alkie and there goes any coverage because they can put any problem I have down to past alcoholism.
Now that kicked up a whole new fear and a really bad feeling because I have that sensitivity to kindling now and I fear I will be given a thing that will put me into withdrawals again and I will die, it could be tomorrow or 20 years from now.
Plus I feel I will have to tell all doctors from now on not only that I am alcoholic and cannot have a benzo but that it could kill me and this makes me feel like I have to always identify as an alkie and remind myself of how bad it is and that I have probable permanent damage because oft his, and that makes my health anxiety about 100 times worse to have to think of that all the tome now... and did I mention I have chronic anxiety and can't take a benzo?
You see what I mean?
And not to mention that I am screwed when I eventually get insurance because the doctors are going to have to know that I am recovered alkie and there goes any coverage because they can put any problem I have down to past alcoholism.
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with planning for tomorrow. I have every reason to be concerned. Kindling is serious and withdrawals can kill. Insurance is also a big deal when medical costs can cause bankruptcy and loss of all your security or roof over your head- I was already made homeless one time due to job loss and I'm not interested in that again.
If anyone else can understand my concerns, or has any experience regarding this to contribute thanks in advance.
If anyone else can understand my concerns, or has any experience regarding this to contribute thanks in advance.
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sleepie, I was honest with my primary physician when I became concerned about my drinking. How could she help me otherwise? It's in my record and never once have I been denied coverage.....for any of my surgeries / medical care.
If you're concerned you could be given a benzo, in an emergency, what about a medic alert bracelet, stating you're allergic to benzos?
If you're concerned you could be given a benzo, in an emergency, what about a medic alert bracelet, stating you're allergic to benzos?
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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I dunno. as far as my doctor goes I haven't mentioned it I just dont have any reason too at this juncture.
But I was concerned about the stigma of it. I still sort of am in that I guess it does bother me that some family members know that I'd rather didnt but people ran there mouths so now i get to get looked down upon for this now too.
So there is that. But what makes me feel better about it is this. Everyones got there lot in life. Everyones got there problems. No matter how big headed and arrogant one might be and how much they might think there **** doesnt stink and that they walk on water the reality is they are not perfect and got a ton of problems i'm sure as well.
Some people are obese, some people have cancer, some people are poor, some people have tumors, some people are disabled, some people have gambling addictons, some people are just not nice people, some people are a lot of these things. Me ? i'm an alcoholic and i got a couple other problems. It could be worse but ti is what it is and its who I am.
Im even rather thankful to be an alcholic many times and feel as if its my super power of sorts. Simply beating booze has enabled me to be a stronger person in so many other areas of my life.
Think about it this way sleepie you've beet booze and benzos you know how hard that is how many people do you know that are strong enough to do that despite the odds you got handed? not many if any i bet!
that being said I also have the issue with anxiety alcoholism and cant take a benzo. I'd say every few weeks i vent to someone in my circle that i wish i could just take a valium or something to calm myself but i cant. why? because i'd get addicted to them and no doctor will give them to me anyhow which is probably for my own dang good. I'm better off. I know I am.
hang in there it doesnt have to be a crutch or something. But I know soemtimes like with certain family memebrs i feel like i'm wearing the dang scarlet letter or something. But the reality is thats there problem not mine.
But I was concerned about the stigma of it. I still sort of am in that I guess it does bother me that some family members know that I'd rather didnt but people ran there mouths so now i get to get looked down upon for this now too.
So there is that. But what makes me feel better about it is this. Everyones got there lot in life. Everyones got there problems. No matter how big headed and arrogant one might be and how much they might think there **** doesnt stink and that they walk on water the reality is they are not perfect and got a ton of problems i'm sure as well.
Some people are obese, some people have cancer, some people are poor, some people have tumors, some people are disabled, some people have gambling addictons, some people are just not nice people, some people are a lot of these things. Me ? i'm an alcoholic and i got a couple other problems. It could be worse but ti is what it is and its who I am.
Im even rather thankful to be an alcholic many times and feel as if its my super power of sorts. Simply beating booze has enabled me to be a stronger person in so many other areas of my life.
Think about it this way sleepie you've beet booze and benzos you know how hard that is how many people do you know that are strong enough to do that despite the odds you got handed? not many if any i bet!
that being said I also have the issue with anxiety alcoholism and cant take a benzo. I'd say every few weeks i vent to someone in my circle that i wish i could just take a valium or something to calm myself but i cant. why? because i'd get addicted to them and no doctor will give them to me anyhow which is probably for my own dang good. I'm better off. I know I am.
hang in there it doesnt have to be a crutch or something. But I know soemtimes like with certain family memebrs i feel like i'm wearing the dang scarlet letter or something. But the reality is thats there problem not mine.
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That is a thing to consider Pondlady thank you for the useful suggestion.
Back when I was going to a group, this happened to a guy and he had withdrawals. This is a fear only those who have had wd from benzos can know. It is a hell that you cannot fathom unless you went through it.
Back when I was going to a group, this happened to a guy and he had withdrawals. This is a fear only those who have had wd from benzos can know. It is a hell that you cannot fathom unless you went through it.
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There'a a whole host of things that could kill you, or any of us...in 20 seconds, 20 days or 20 years. And most of them, including some you've listed are utterly beyond your ( or anyone's ) control.
Think about it for a minute....you watched one show about one woman and you've catastrophised it into the end of the world. That's pure anxiety working there...and I know it intimately as I've done the same thing hundreds of times
Rationally, the insurance thing is not really a big deal. Most will just want a blood test to know if you are currently using and never access your medical records anyway....insurance is simply a game of averages.
You can also prepare a list of meds you don't want to be given if incapacitated, and you Don't have to specify WHY you don't want them. And in all reality, what are the chances of you becoming incapacitated? VERY Small...the same as the rest of us.
Think about it for a minute....you watched one show about one woman and you've catastrophised it into the end of the world. That's pure anxiety working there...and I know it intimately as I've done the same thing hundreds of times
Rationally, the insurance thing is not really a big deal. Most will just want a blood test to know if you are currently using and never access your medical records anyway....insurance is simply a game of averages.
You can also prepare a list of meds you don't want to be given if incapacitated, and you Don't have to specify WHY you don't want them. And in all reality, what are the chances of you becoming incapacitated? VERY Small...the same as the rest of us.
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I don't need to be told to not worry. This is a very insensitive thing to do to a person with anxiety. It is the same as telling someone to just cheer up when they are depressed.
I don't know why people don't understand this. I have been keeping a lot to myself lately because of this and it just makes my depression even worse.
No, I I never said anything about the end of the world. What I said pertains to my health. And is relevant and also not unrealistic- as I said I know one- actually two people who this very thing happened to.
I really didn't want this to turn into a thing where I had to defend myself. So I am going to go back to being silent, because it really does fuel my depression. I have been isolating anyway and was hoping not to spin in to another anxiety ridden day of depression. I needed to talk about this today.
I don't know why people don't understand this. I have been keeping a lot to myself lately because of this and it just makes my depression even worse.
you've catastrophised it into the end of the world.
I really didn't want this to turn into a thing where I had to defend myself. So I am going to go back to being silent, because it really does fuel my depression. I have been isolating anyway and was hoping not to spin in to another anxiety ridden day of depression. I needed to talk about this today.
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werlp, I don't know if ya ever read my story, but if ya did youd know I was diagnosed stage 3 metastatic melanoma 13 months into recovery- back in 2006. I went through a crapload.
and I still have cancer. it is something I will always have and theres a high probability it will kill me.
and I have choices!!!! I can allow it to consume me and make me miserable or I can live in today and make the most of it.
honestly,sleepie, it is YOU that fuels your depression. it is YOU that is looking for ANYTHING to be the problem other than YOU. you've been doing it for a very loooooooonnnnng time.
yes, I feel sorry for you.
and I still have cancer. it is something I will always have and theres a high probability it will kill me.
and I have choices!!!! I can allow it to consume me and make me miserable or I can live in today and make the most of it.
honestly,sleepie, it is YOU that fuels your depression. it is YOU that is looking for ANYTHING to be the problem other than YOU. you've been doing it for a very loooooooonnnnng time.
yes, I feel sorry for you.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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i feel ya sleepie someone could tell me 12398129381239812 times to not worry it doesnt matter once i start going forget it its a battle to wrestle myself out of it.
I could be worried and anxious over the dumbest things in the world too even forget it my mind gets stuck on it and it can be an incredible struggle.
distractions can help i guess.
I could be worried and anxious over the dumbest things in the world too even forget it my mind gets stuck on it and it can be an incredible struggle.
distractions can help i guess.
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Originally Posted by tomsteve 
werlp, I don't know if ya ever read my story, but if ya did youd know I was diagnosed stage 3 metastatic melanoma 13 months into recovery- back in 2006. I went through a crapload.
and I still have cancer. it is something I will always have and theres a high probability it will kill me.
and I have choices!!!! I can allow it to consume me and make me miserable or I can live in today and make the most of it.
honestly,sleepie, it is YOU that fuels your depression. it is YOU that is looking for ANYTHING to be the problem other than YOU. you've been doing it for a very loooooooonnnnng time.
yes, I feel sorry for you.
and I still have cancer. it is something I will always have and theres a high probability it will kill me.
and I have choices!!!! I can allow it to consume me and make me miserable or I can live in today and make the most of it.
honestly,sleepie, it is YOU that fuels your depression. it is YOU that is looking for ANYTHING to be the problem other than YOU. you've been doing it for a very loooooooonnnnng time.
yes, I feel sorry for you.
I know for me when i got bad stuff i'm worried about if i sit with it as painful and as much of a struggle as that can be I can usually come to a place of acceptance and be ok. Its gotten easier for me over the years but when i was in early sobriety forget it. I went from one thing to the next worried and anxious like crazy.
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Originally Posted by sleepie
I don't need to be told to not worry. This is a very insensitive thing to do to a person with anxiety. It is the same as telling someone to just cheer up when they are depressed.
I just don't understand what you want. You get all upset if people try and help and it's not what you want to hear. I guess if you want to worry about dying from benzos tomorrow for the next however many years of your life, you can, but it doesn't seem productive or helpful for your long-term mental health.
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Join Date: May 2012
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Are you in the US? If so, mandatory insurance has been in effect for a couple of years now, and simply calling your local health department or even applying online can get your coverage. Also I would not be concerned about medication, rather the drinking.
Benzos are the first line of defense in withdraw to stop you from possibly dying from DT's. I also suffer from severe anxiety and they help me substantially to at least have some kind of quality to life.
It is common to be paranoid and afraid of medications, and simply turn back to the bottle, but in the end that is the worst thing you can do. Be honest with your docs, they are there to help.
Benzos are the first line of defense in withdraw to stop you from possibly dying from DT's. I also suffer from severe anxiety and they help me substantially to at least have some kind of quality to life.
It is common to be paranoid and afraid of medications, and simply turn back to the bottle, but in the end that is the worst thing you can do. Be honest with your docs, they are there to help.
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Originally Posted by sleepie
And not to mention that I am screwed when I eventually get insurance because the doctors are going to have to know that I am recovered alkie and there goes any coverage because they can put any problem I have down to past alcoholism.
My personal opinion, I think kindling is a hoax...
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My mother was given Ativan. It gave her panic attacks between doses.
I simply put it on her allergy list and they never gave it to her again.
I added everything to her allergy list I didn't want her to have.
It was an easy fix with no explanation necessary.
I simply put it on her allergy list and they never gave it to her again.
I added everything to her allergy list I didn't want her to have.
It was an easy fix with no explanation necessary.
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I was always waiting for serenity to arrive. When I gave up trying to control people, places, and things. When I put faith in the God of my understanding that he would guide me on life"s path, when I learned to live in the moment and rejoice in what I have not the things I don't, when God took me threw some very hard times, when I learned how to give of myself I found the happiness I had been chasing my entire life
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Originally Posted by sleepie
I don't need to be told to not worry. This is a very insensitive thing to do to a person with anxiety. It is the same as telling someone to just cheer up when they are depressed.
.
.
I was trying to point out, as I have many times before, that anxiety is a vicious cycle that once started perpetuates and causes all kinds of illogical thougts. Part of the way OUT is to stop and think with the logical part of your mind and realize how irrational the thinking is. Therapy helps with that, talking with other can too and LISTENING to people who know exactly what you are going through can really help.
And "going silent" is not going to help you at all. You need to start listening AND talking through these issues, whether it's here or with a therapist.
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