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-   -   Need some friends from here to talk to (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/394183-need-some-friends-here-talk.html)

ryry77 07-07-2016 09:40 PM

Need some friends from here to talk to
 
Ok I have posted on here before but I am going to spill the beans so you guys can completely understand me. I am a single mom with 2 boys, with 2 different deadbeat dads and I support them completely on my own. I can't really afford babysitting to go to AA meetings. In all honesty I don't even have time between working full time and taking care of my boys to go to AA. My only family member that watched my kids just had a stroke and probably won't be watching them again. I can't take them to AA meetings even if they have babysitting because of my hours. I'm looking of some people to talk to through all this. I haven't drank in a week and I feel like I'm going to lose my freakin mind. I am so cranky, upset, alone and feel horrible. In the past years I have lost my friends mostly due to either the bad choices I mad when I was drunk or the feeling I didn't want to talk to anyone in the world when I was sober. Anyway at this point I am alone and don't think I can do this alone....

Dee74 07-07-2016 09:46 PM

You can lean on SR like I did and post here and read as much as you need to on a daily or more than daily basis. Many folks find that's enough :)

If you find it's not enough (and some find that) you're going to have to revisit what's possible for you to do...because drinking is not a viable option.

To make change, you need to change things in your life. I hope the SR community can help you make those changes :)

D

Acheleus 07-07-2016 09:48 PM

You are not alone. Just try to write down some options. Have you looked into childcare resources in your community? Social services exist for single parents.

It can be scary to feel alone. You are stronger than fear, however.

Just breathe and try to focus on healthy solutions. Also, the legal system is a resource. Look for public law clinics and contact family law attorneys about pro bono cases. All lawyers are urged to do pro bono work by the ABA.

Jojay 07-07-2016 10:10 PM

You wont ever be alone now that you are part of our community.You will soon start to feel so much better.Do you enjoy your work?have you any friends that can support you through the difficult 1st few weeks of recovery?Stay close to SR.

ryry77 07-07-2016 10:18 PM

No I don't have friends I lost them all. I feel like such a loser because of this. I have no support and my first ex husband was a very successful IT manager that ended up being schizophrenic after we got divorced and he hasn't worked in years. And my second sons dad got back from being in Afghanistan and went crazy. He moved away and I haven't talked to him since my son was a baby. I really have nobody.

mac6367 07-07-2016 11:03 PM

Well, you have all of us, now. I'm sorry to hear about your set of circumstances. I personally don't attend any meetings, and I mostly come here when I have any doubts in myself, plus I spend some time reading posts or posting daily. There's a lot of great information, support and friends to be found here which have become my main resource in my recovery. :)

Pixus 07-07-2016 11:15 PM

Hi ryry,

I'm here and happy to chat. I only have a couple of weeks sober at the moment, so I'm no expert. But I'm happy to talk and share experiences of recovery. I'll be your friend :)

Gottalife 07-08-2016 12:14 AM

Hi Ryry,

you might not know but meetings are not the AA recovery program. Just a nice place to go to get motivated to do the program which is all done away from meetings.

Perhaps do the impossible and get to one meeting, and find a sponsor who is willing to take you through the steps. You can schedule those get togethers at convenient times and places.

I have sponsored one or two people that way. I know you can have responsibilities such as child care that cannot be avoided. Equally I know if you don't get the help you need, you are headed for an early death and that will certainly create a major childcare problem.

You have to be willing to be a bit flexible, but it should not be impossible to find a flexible sponsor.

Soberwolf 07-08-2016 12:28 AM

:grouphug:

CafFiteinated 07-08-2016 01:46 AM


Originally Posted by ryry77 (Post 6034799)
No I don't have friends I lost them all. I feel like such a loser because of this. I have no support and my first ex husband was a very successful IT manager that ended up being schizophrenic after we got divorced and he hasn't worked in years. And my second sons dad got back from being in Afghanistan and went crazy. He moved away and I haven't talked to him since my son was a baby. I really have nobody.

Thank You for sharing.

I lost everyone in my life as well. My children as well. They are young adults but have had it with my continuous drinking. It is a tough pill to swallow.

trachemys 07-08-2016 03:15 AM

You are not alone. There's someone here 24/7/365.

There are formal AA meetings in chat Tuesday and Friday.

sugarbear1 07-08-2016 04:40 AM

Welcome!

SR has recovery meetings on Tuesday and Friday, not formal AA meetings.

If you want links to online AA meetings, private message me!

Optimist4ever57 07-08-2016 04:48 AM

Hi Ryry...have you thought about attending a meeting during your lunch period? I know they're available, my ex used to go to them. I hope you find something that works for you :-)

trachemys 07-08-2016 07:07 AM


Originally Posted by sugarbear1 (Post 6035009)
Welcome!

SR has recovery meetings on Tuesday and Friday, not formal AA meetings.

If you want links to online AA meetings, private message me!

Oops. :)

mistory5 07-11-2016 10:50 PM

Try the website in The Rooms it streams AA meetings where you listen, see and share and make c connections. Of course this site is great also,

Timebuster 07-12-2016 04:57 AM

Hey what's up Ryry.

There's a few online meetings. In The Rooms is a good one, also here is a site I used when I couldn't make face-to-face meetings.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=...GjmxACWfc1DzcA

TB

cairn 07-12-2016 07:46 AM

Hey aw ryry. :)

I found myself in an isolation tank as well...turns out the AA chip of a big book that has brought innumerable lives back from the brink is online, actual humans are only required to play a role in spots that will become clear, and, if you are in the US or have a calling plan there are not only live telephone party line meetings, but some are even recorded.

I downloaded a warm wonderful set, still hacking at that book trying to edit it to read how i want it to, but whereas i had come to believe i was a goner and an abject failure, my very life is being restored - despite myself!!!

It's all good, you needn't be alone unless you want to, we are legion getting well, in whom the merciless obsession with alcohol is being relieved!

In my new and startled opinion, we can rely absolutely on the direction in that stupid old book, however long it takes us to come to terms with it. I've had a copy for 30 years. Sober for some, my comprehension of the gravity of the alcoholic situation has deepened. To me, there became no other option besides surrender, and, well, I'm still trying to review and renegotiate terms on that....

But barleycorn no longer has the same hold of me and i am learning where to look for the life i never intended to throw away.

Peace!

children. in AA meetings. pfffffffft. lol! Maybe the wimmen will come to your house, they did mine...careful though some won't let go of ya! AA infiltrators....ah it's all good. Our real reliance goes on our own creator, and we gradually, facing some hard truths, painfully come to discover what a hard go we have been making of it all...and the urge to drink gets minimized and replaced with a tremendous sense of wonder and purpose and laughter.

Nope. Needn't be alone, girl. :)

uncorked 07-12-2016 05:18 PM

Congratulations on 6 days sober, that's an accomplishment!!! The first week is definitely the hardest. There are a lot of online support groups/meetings if you'd rather go that route. Check out Smart Recovery or Rational Recovery, too. AA helps many people but it isn't for everyone. Find an approach that speaks to you.

masanori 07-15-2016 10:58 AM

RyRy...

I'm so sorry you feel so alone. I am lucky to have my parents as a huge support. After I got divorced nine years ago, I have tended to isolate myself on my free time. I often felt really lonely, yet, I know it's not nearly as lonely as you must feel. Please hang tough for the sake of your children and your self. Pray that things will get better.

honeypig 07-16-2016 11:35 PM

I usually post in the F&F section but was reading here today. I can't speak for AA meetings, but I know a lot of Alanon meetings offer child care for a nominal price. Usually $1 per child is asked for. In my area, a lot of AA meetings run at the same time and in the same building as Alanon meetings, but of course in different rooms . Finding meetings that share a space like this might take care of your childcare issues for very little $$.


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