Too late?

Old 07-04-2016, 11:32 AM
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Question Too late?

My husband and myself stopped drinking April 24th. 2 weeks after he developed fatigue, weight loss. He got bounced around a bit then 10 days ago I took him to the ER with pain and ascites. I knew something wasn't right. They diagnosed pancreatitis, portal vein thrombus and hypertension as well as gallstones and varicies. The doc says he has liver disease and it's failing, but she hasn't done biopsy or any scans of the liver and his labs look ok. They drained 7 liters of fluid out of him and basically sent him home on diruetics. I'm very confused. They discharged him and told him to follow up with GI but he is still having ascites.. he looks 6 months pregnant right now. I am taking him back to the ER shortly. I am just sitting here worried and anxious and watching him just wither away. He's lost 30+ pounds in the last month. I guess I just need some hope right now. It feels like a freight train we didn't see coming. I can't seem to get any concrete info from the docs. I need to know what I am dealing with. I am trying to be strong and take care of everything but I feel like I'm going to crash myself....
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Old 07-04-2016, 11:36 AM
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I'm so sorry - it sounds as though his alcohol use may have led to this serious life-threatening issue. (?)

There is no way to know what is going to happen with him, but we are here for you if you need a place to let out all the emotions and fears. I would get him back to the ER right away.

Just try to stay present and calm. Take care of yourself, eat, sleep. Do you have anyone you can call to be with you at the hospital?
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Old 07-04-2016, 11:39 AM
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Thank you for your share. Stay present for him and yourself. Thoughts are with you.
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Old 07-04-2016, 11:55 AM
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Welcome to the forum. The ER will just stabilize, then send you on your way. I would setup an appointment with your primary care doc ASAP so they can look over everything and likely recommend him to see a liver specialist.
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Old 07-04-2016, 12:05 PM
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I'm sure it was the alcohol. He was drinking every weekend for about 12 years.. often during the week as well. He got to the point of 3 fifth's or more of whiskey every weekend. He'd just drink from Friday clear on through to Sunday night. He'd tell himself he was sober after 6 hours of sleep... I drank too. Maybe half a fifth of Jack on the weekends, but I had cut back considerably from where I was. It was really the blind leading the blind. We were just enabling each other. I tried to get him to cut back or just drink one day. He wouldn't or couldn't. Once he started he wouldn't stop. I was near leaving him in April and I think he knew he was having health issues so he said he was done with it. He hasn't had any since. I've slipped a couple times but I am absolutely done with it now. I'll hit my one month Wed. It is the saddest thing to think we were too late. I'm overwhelmed with guilt and anger and regret. Sitting outside the ER having a smoke and some lady patient was sitting there drunk and saying how much her fireball meant to her. She was having her family sneak it in.. It just made me sad. I'm so incredibly sad.
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Old 07-04-2016, 12:15 PM
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and as far as family and support. I have a couple friends here that have been amazing. Most of our family lives on the East coast and frankly I dont think they care at this point. We've managed to lose just about every friend and family member we had because of drinking. So I sit in Cali. basically alone with my 15 year old daughter. and I can't tell you the regret and guilt I have regarding her... There aren't enough sorries in the world. What an evil thing alcohol is yet it's so socially acceptable. I was literally offered a drink by my friend last night and I just thought "are you kidding me?"
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Old 07-04-2016, 12:18 PM
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It's really good that you are sober for this. I know it's really difficult, but it will be far far worse if one or both of you starts drinking again. It's a horrible addiction and I hope your husband will be able to get enough medical care to give him time to have some options. The GI guy is your best bet, like they told you when he was discharged. The only way treatment will have any chance of working is if there is no alcohol at all.

I'm very sorry you're going through this - just know that your own sobriety will help you to feel better in general in time, and it may save your life. Tough lesson to learn, no doubt. ((Hug))

Are you going back to the ER today?
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Old 07-04-2016, 12:18 PM
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I'm so sorry. Maybe there is something yet they can do for him...I hope so.

By posting your story today, you may have saved a life here on this board. You never know what will be the final push someone needs to finally put the poison down.

Sending you a hug and hope.
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Old 07-04-2016, 02:48 PM
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Prayers and good wishes for you both.

These stories do sometimes have happy endings and I hope yours is one of them leeloo

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Old 07-04-2016, 02:57 PM
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Prayers for a good outcome.
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Old 07-04-2016, 03:07 PM
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We are with you, and so glad you can be there for him and your daughter.

Whatever happened before, be there for each other now. No matter what.

Lots of love.
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Old 07-05-2016, 09:59 AM
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The apt with GI will be able to address a potential procedure that could hopefully halt the ascites, that's beyond the ER's realm. I'm guessing a good part of that 30 lbs was the 7 liters of fluid? That is a LOT.

I'm so sorry to hear that you and he are struggling with this, and I hope you can get answers. Prayers.
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