Could use advice from old timers

Old 07-03-2016, 06:42 PM
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Could use advice from old timers

As I posted in another thread I am 46 days today. I have been in an excellent IOP which made a huge difference.
I suffer from ADD and anxiety as well as insomnia. I used alcohol to medicate for all but am also just a good old fashioned alcoholic from a long long line of alcoholics. I'm 49 and my mo was 1 bottle minimum of wine a night; worst nights 2. Very sneaky and high functioning - no one knew but me. My husband was flabbergasted to find out.
My IOP has an excellent psychiatrist who is pretty open to using meds ( naltrexone, trazedone) to help people achieve sobriety. Those made me feel awful and I didn't continue. Recently he gave me neurontin to help with anxiety. It is a non benzo and supposedly non addictive and he has found it to be very effective for anxiety especially for alcoholics. (I occasionally used to take Xanax for anxiety but don't like the way it makes me feel.).
It is a huge help for anxiety. I posted a few weeks ago about an inlaw visit that was going to be constant triggering. The meds really helped. My problem - the drug makes me feel good. Not super good but a bit good. I can take up to 6 a day, every day, and have taken no more than 2 and only a few times, when feeling anxious or having my evening cravings. The fact that I like the feeling makes me wonder if I should not take them, or set up rules for when I can, or have my husband dispense them.
Not asking for medical advice, just practical advice from fellow addicts. I've googled the drug a lot but this is an off label use and there is little info on occasional use.
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Old 07-03-2016, 07:05 PM
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I'd talk with your doctor/psychiatrist.

This medication is not suggested for those with addiction problems (which means we can manipulate it's use or over-use them).
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Old 07-03-2016, 07:06 PM
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It is all about self honesty really. Some people need drugs to function for genuine medical reasons, and use of them is never a bar to recovery.

Others pull con jobs on their doctors to get prescriptions. Alcoholics (active ones) are notorious for deceiving their doctors and in today's busy world it is so easy to get a prescription.

It might have to do also with the chosen recovery method. Fear of all kinds is a chracteristic of early recovery as is self pity. They can easily be confused with anxiety and depression.

Courage is fear that has said its prayers. I live a spiritual recovery program and it was through prayer and action that my fears were removed. I heard a woman talk about this at a meeting recently. She was six month sober and had just come off anti depressants for the sake of her pregnancy. She said she had not been straight with her doctor, and was trying to medicate her way to sobriety. It felt ok during the time, but when she stopped she egan to feel all the crap that she should have felt, and dealt with at the start.

Recovery from alcoholism is not a comfortable process. Her view was that all she did was postpone the pain, not avoid it all together. She has a great recovery now, but I guess she could have chosen to keep medicating and would have had a second rate numbed out kind of recovery as a result, supressing symptoms rather than treating causes.

You are very lucky not to like those drugs you tried. I had another friend, a woman in ther thirties who I heard just passed away. She was sober, had surgery, a painkiller that had a bonus "I like that!" feeling to which she became addicted. To get her of that they put her on Benzos and they could not get her of those.

Taking medication unnecessarily adds a huge amount of risk to recovery. However, failing to follow a doctor's directions for the treatment of a genuine illness is also very dangerous.

In the end you must decide for yourself what your motives are in how you deal with your doctor. I know I could go to mine today and get an arm load of prescriptions. I know just what to say and I know he does not have the time to talk to me properly about my concerns.
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Old 07-03-2016, 08:44 PM
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^Better said than I could so I will just say - exactly what he said. All of it.
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Old 07-04-2016, 03:52 AM
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define what ya mean by it makes you feel good please.
if it means the anxiety and ADD are at bay, then wouldn't that mean the medication is working?
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Old 07-04-2016, 04:13 AM
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Congratulations on your 47 days sober.

As one who in the past stopped drinking but, took prescription drugs,
wean down when you can.
Sounds like you are not abusing them.

A nice sober day wished for all,
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Old 07-04-2016, 06:00 AM
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Re drugs - I am on a regimen prescribed by my doctor. Two of my meds are daily ones that I will quite possibly never stop taking. One is for sleep (and a side effect on anxiety) - seroquel, which around here people have had various good/bad experiences with, for me all good) and another for anxiety.

THIS is the one my doctor and I are agreed that I will be weaned off of, gradually over the next few months. It is a take as needed benzo (Lorazepam). To do this, I have begun actively, moreso than I realized before, possibly, put into place the actions I have been learning in recovery. To get through the anxiety "myself" - and it is a good feeling to do this - I haven't taken a pill since Fri. I am not addicted, but this is a drug I do not need to take forever.

Pills can be tough. Not taking them when we like the feeling is definitely tough. I'm just a girl trying to see if I can do it. Hope we all can assess our situations, working with a good doctor where honesty is the key, as people have said.

Happy Monday, all.
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Old 07-04-2016, 08:05 AM
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I had been prescribed that med as well and it's suppose to be effective for anxiety and for getting rid of alcohol cravings, but didn't really work for me. It is one that needs to be taken in fairly high doses, usually 3 times a day to work. I would not try to limit yourself or hide from taking then when they are working, and your doc prescribed them for you. They are non-addictive so I would not worry about that if that was one of the reasons you were concerned about.
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Old 07-04-2016, 10:16 AM
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I don't know what you mean by feeling good, but we don't have to feel bad to be sober, and if you suffer from anxiety and ADD (like many of us do), they help, have been prescribed and are not addicting, I would give it a go for a while and then have another talk with the doc that prescribed them. But I also had an epidural.

I am so happy for you.
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