My AV was strong lastnight
WWG1WGA
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: SoCal
Posts: 28
My AV was strong lastnight
As I was trying to go to sleep lastnight I kept thinking how when I was pregnant I was able to have just one drink (only a few times throughout the 8 months after I found out). And so lastnight I was trying to convince myself once again that I can do moderation. Pregnancy was the only time in my life I wasn't a problem drinker and I was happy with one glass of wine. Surprisingly, I really had zero desire for alcohol while I was pregnant. So lastnight I started kind of making deals with myself.. 3 months sobriety for one glass of wine (ok maybe two-but that's it (but really who am I kidding? I don't want just one or two!)).. I realize this is flawed thinking and I'm disappointed in myself for thinking like this again. I think I'm having strong cravings right now and discouraged that I can never drink again. I know I should think in terms of 24 hours but I think I feel sad about it. This is my Day 6. I just wanted to tell someone. I can't go to any meetings because I have a baby and no one to watch her - I've never actually ever been to a meeting. Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
Hang tight, it's day 6. 
It can take a long time, weeks to months to a couple years, to silence the addict voice, and I know for me even 5+ years in I still occasionally (very rarely) hear it. I just smile and nod and pass those thoughts on by if they come up (now, only in new-to-sobriety situations, of which there aren't many left) - nice try, addict voice, but I know your ways and you'll never succeed in taking over my frontal lobes again.
It can take a long time, weeks to months to a couple years, to silence the addict voice, and I know for me even 5+ years in I still occasionally (very rarely) hear it. I just smile and nod and pass those thoughts on by if they come up (now, only in new-to-sobriety situations, of which there aren't many left) - nice try, addict voice, but I know your ways and you'll never succeed in taking over my frontal lobes again.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi goneundone 
I think it's pretty common for our addicted self to try and rationalise we can moderate.
You'll have those rationalisations less and less as you gorw into a sober life
Thoughts are thoughts - it's what we do in response that counts - you stayed sober...that's a win
I think it's pretty common for our addicted self to try and rationalise we can moderate.
You'll have those rationalisations less and less as you gorw into a sober life
Thoughts are thoughts - it's what we do in response that counts - you stayed sober...that's a win
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
Thoughts don't have to become actions if we don't want. Just talk back to that voice and tell it to take a hike. I've got over six years sober and sometimes get thoughts of drinking, but easily dismiss them for the lies they are.
I've got over six years sober and sometimes get thoughts of drinking, but easily dismiss them for the lies they are. 
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