wshall

Any advise on how to deal with social anxiety? This was never a issue until I got sober and I'm feeling pretty isolated. Every time I meet new people I get pretty quiet. I still don't feel comfortable in my own skin and I've been sober 702 days. Any advice will be helpful

ZenLifter

I'm naturally pretty shy and introverted around new people, but I've gotten a lot better at it because my job is such that I'm meeting new people all the time. In other words I get a lot of practice

Did you ever think about trying Meetup? My roommate is always trying to get me to join one of those groups. I tell her I get more than enough social interaction at work, lol.

Dee74

I think most of us struggle with being social after we get sober. If I'm honest tho, I was always socially anxious - that's one of the reasons I drank.

Whether that was the case with you or not, give it a little time. Sociability is a skill like anything else.

It's not a skill I'm great at but I can muddle through now.
I accept that I yam what I yam

D

KAD

What Dee said. The first thing that attracted me to alcohol was that my lifelong problem with social anxiety seemed to melt away when I drank it. I became fearless and much more talkative. Funny thing is, as the disease progressed, social anxiety came back with a vengeance, along with isolation, paranoia, avoidance of people and social situations. Since quitting, I still struggle with social anxiety. Can't say whether it's worse or better, but it's definitely still an issue. I'm giving a talk at an AA meeting this Sunday, and I'm about as tense and anxious as I can be over it!

wshall

I can relate with everything you said. I remember the first AA meeting I chaired and I was terrified. I was on anti depressants at the time. I don't think I could do it now

wshall

I've never heard of Meetup

soberclover

What seems to work for me is to just practice, practice, practice.

entropy1964

I think its ok to be introverted. I have learned that if I'm feeling quiet in a social setting, I just show interest in others. Ask them questions and let them do the talking. People love to talk about themselves, I like to listen. Win win. And I try to show more interest in them which takes the focus off me. Think less about me and how I'm being perceived and more about them. Accepting me as I am and not worrying about what others think of me helps.

Centered3

Still a work in progress. I've had times in sobriety where my social anxiety was practically non existent, and I've had times where it hasn't been this high since middle school.

When I am able to let go of the self-centered fear, I am much more calm and relaxed and then socializing almost becomes natural.

When I say something wrong, I try to let it go and not make the same mistake next time.

The more authentic I allow myself to be, the easier it gets.

AdelineRose

Be easy with yourself, rebuilding out self confidence, self worth, and our place in the world can take time after getting sober.

Anxiety is one of the things that I have had to accept and deal with since getting sober. I have found the more I work on my recovery, the more sure I am of myself and the more I am able to handle my anxiety. I have also found working out, meditation, and practicing different breathing exersices has really helped. Counseling and medication have also really helped me.

tangningsheng

I think it's just important to be yourself. For me, it was hard but once I realized that I am happy with myself people that you want in will be there for you.

oldsoul112249

I'm introverted and have a tendency to isolate. What helps me is to strike something up with people when I'm out in public. Mostly in grocery stores. It could be a question or commenting on something, giving a compliment. I'm surprised at how many people are responsive, welcome it and love the smiles and a bit of attention, they could be lonely.