The Power of Positive Thinking
 

I'm a big believer in this and I spent a good deal of my break trying to get myself back into harmony and balance...and positivity.

My life got it's ups and downs - I have a fair slough of health issues, fpr example and the likelihood is they'll get worse.

Whenever I start to freak out about that I remind myself that right now I'm doing pretty well - I can do whatever I want today, and keeping productive makes me think about my pain or the future a lot less.

For a long time negative thoughts had the run of my head - whenever something bad looked like it might happen my mind would leap instantly to the worst possible scenario...

when bad things did happen I fell to pieces.

I'm glad that recovery has given me the chance to see I'm stronger than I ever thought I was.

Things that once would floor me for a week roll off me now - I'm not saying thats a quick process but it is a sure one if you put in the effort.

I'm also a lot better in stopping those negative thoughts before they start to snowball now

Thought Stopping: A Technique to Quiet the Negative Voice in Your Head

10 Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts: Positive Thinking Made Easy

as a drinker I was a victim - things happened to me, people let me down, life wasn't fair...

I see those things as challenges now, not dead ends :)

If anyone else has some tips on staying positive and regaining control of their life I'd love to hear them :)

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D

Big high fives to that, Dee. Negativity takes its toll. We could all do with less negativity, I think.

Is being positive the same as being unrealistic, delusional, or buying into Pollyanna-ism? I don't think so.

Where to focus? I could focus on the crap but if I shift focus to some of the better stuff, or at least have a vision for the changes I'd like to work towards in my life, then isn't that a step in the right direction? I'd say so.

Being positive isn't boring either. I think sometimes we are adrenaline junkies and think being tragically 'bad' makes us interesting. It doesnt. It just makes you dramatic, and somewhat loathsome to those around you actually putting in the blood, sweat, and tears to work with what life gave them.

I got tired of seeing others around me doing and being what I wanted for myself. Envy is useless. Digging in is where it's at. Working towards my goals and accepting what I can't change, that's my positivity.

I might not be the best, the brightest, the most talented, the most beautiful, or the luckiest ... but this is my one life and I want to do something good with it.

Yes, Im a hardcore negative thinker coming from a line of them...not an excuse though but it can be hard, and Ive let it become a habit for so long despite wanting otherwise. Well ingrained pessimism is hard to overcome, but I do believe there is hope. A lot of vigilance and habit.

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Great post Dee. I think it comes easier for some of us just because of they way we are wired but it takes work no matter who you are . One of my favorite idioms is "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

Sometimes I like to repeat certain lines from songs when things get rough for me. I can't post my favorite one on her because it only contains a few lines and most of it is cussing.

Here is one I can though from the bridge theme (I think Brooks & Dunn does a song like that too)

We'll cross that bridge when we come to it
If there's a problem we'll get over it
Let's tell the truth and get it over with
I'm sure our love will see us through

Can't go on living this life of deceit
We're sinking deeper and deeper
Painting the windows to keep out the heat
Don't stick your head in the sand, oh no

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLUqgqEJlQc

I have always been a glass half empty type person. Coming through all the mostly self inflicted BS in my life, and now working with the elderly (which I am gradually becoming); I TRY to have the attitude that everyday I wake up is a great day no matter what it brings.

I am very happy to see this thread. One of the things I really had to work on with sobriety, was my thinking. I feel it's been one of the things that has supported long-term sobriety and recovery.

In the midst of my alcoholism, I was great with finding why things weren't fair, why my life sucked, etc., since it worked great for finding reasons to drink and justifying my drinking. However, that kind of thinking wasn't helpful in helping me stay sober and I knew it had to change it if I was to stay sober long-term. There are going to be days where you're going to be pushed against the wall and if you're thinking about how much your life sucks and so on and so forth, there is very little defense against picking up that first drink. I am a big believer of using gratitude lists. They really do help and can refocus your thoughts and energy.

Like Silentrun, one of my favorite phrases is the serenity prayer. So much wisdom in those words.
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Excellent Thread, I'm a big believer in PMA (positive mental attitude) doesn't mean I'm happy everyday but I try my best to try & see the best in things to try and find light when things get dark I read lots of books to help better my thinking I read & listen to the wisdom that is in abundance here at SR from you alone D I have learnt a lot but if it's one thing I really remember is a bad day is just that they do pass and in the meantime I keep working on me & trying to make my & our lives better

Some may think I fart rainbows and that Im always happy when in fact I could be having a bad day and I refuse to let it get to me

Not perfect but I try

Excellent thread D

Thanks for the great post.

I think meditation helps enormously in staying positive.

Terrific post, Dee! I'm also a big believer in positive thinking. The human brain is an incredible instrument capable of miraculous things. I grew up around a mix of positive and negative people and the positive people were a lot happier and healthier, not to mention a whole lot more fun to be around! Drinking took me to some dark, dark places and the negative thoughts were overwhelming. I think some people confuse positive thinking with "pie-eyed" optimism. I always strive for a balance of optimism and reality. I don't always succeed, but in general I'm a much happier person when I'm thinking positive thoughts.

D, great post. Coming from the f&f side, I am one who's glass was/is always half full. I always see the positive. I find it interesting that all that have posted, recognize that they are all half empty. We are all wired so differently.

I work at a church and a parishioner lost her wallet yesterday. Someone found it in the parking lot and handed it in. I called the women telling her we had it. I saw the cc & license was there and I was so happy for her. She came to pick it up immediately and she saw all her cash ($500.00) and even her coins had been removed. I know she was sad, But in my mind the cash was nothing. The cc and the identity theft was the huge issue. When she left she said thank you to God for returning the important stuff. These are the small things that you appreciate from a bad situation and don't thrive on the negative of the stolen money.

We are all truly blessed in our own way. Most people would not swap their life for someone elses as there is ALWAYS someone else less fortunate. Be grateful you are all sober today, as that is your true blessing, what more could you ask for. Hugs my sober friends stay positive !!!

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D

Hi Dee .

Saw the title of your post ''Power of Positive Thinking '' and immediately thought about Norman Vincent Peale who wrote the book with the exact same title, fabulous book full of insight and suggestions that cover ''every aspect of life '' well worth reading , accepting what we cannot change isn't easy and does not mean we are pleased about it , take care .

Regards Stevie

I cant positive think my way out of messes. I cant smile all the way to bankruptcy court. I'm not a positive thinker at all naturally. Just last week after months of injuries and depression over it etc.. I thought maybet his is it for me. I've tried to be positive about my running issues for 6 months and where has it gotten me? maybe I'm just fooling myself here maybe i shoudl hang the shoes up and just call it quits at this point. But then i got mad and thought no enough of this kinda thinking and i've had a better week since.

Positive thinking takes work for me it doesnt come naturally its slowly becoming a habit tho. I will still stick to my point tho that it wont just get rid of the bad things in my life but it will help with how i feel about those bad things.

at the end of the dday no matter how you slice it there is always going to be good things and bad things in your life what you give attention too tho is how it will affect how you feel. I will purposely avoid various situations that i know will just make me feel crummy. like nope not doing that no way am i setting myself up for that misery etc... even various house projects unless it really has to be done if its gonna drive me nuts forget it i'll pass. If it simply just has to be done then i wait till i'm strong enough to tackle it witohout having a freak out fest etc..

thank you Dee and all so much needed this big time.. life in 2016 has been so difficult for the Jan to June.. prayers to all and hopes thoughts and Blessings for a better day... hugs ardy

I know that I am my thoughts. My addiction loves negativity. Victim thinking, catastrophic thinking, self centered thinking. It has been my experience that many addicts, including me, lack coping mechanisms. Part of recovery is learning to cope with life's challenges, big and small. Its owning my reality and learning that I'm not the only person, by any means, that has (or has had) a difficult life. It is human to struggle. But it is also human to persevere and adapt. It takes effort and practice. It is easy to pity myself, isolate myself in 'my' pain. But that is a cop out and will lead me back to my addiction.

Sometimes it does help me to think of the millions of people in this world that can't even get a glass of clean drinking water. And I'm complaining. Seriously?

I happen to take the opposite approach to Frickaflip, which is: I am not my thoughts. Thoughts often seem to me to come and go of their own will, so I let them, and give them no particular importance.

great stuff there,dee. this caught my attention:
" I have a fair slough of health issues, fpr example and the likelihood is they'll get worse."

although our health issues are different and imo mine aren't near as what yours are, I can relate.

im amazed at the side effects of treating cancer. the chemo, surgeries, and clinical trial have left me with a load of lasting side effect.
my immune system is jacked up and I get sick real easy and when I do it hits me hard.
I get horrible migraines, ones that make the hangovers I used to suffer look like childs play.
fatigue hits and I have no say in the matter. I must rest.
since the cancer got into one of the vertebrae they removed a part of that vertebrae and now I must be careful about what I lift and how I lift it.

and im not free of cancer. I still have it. melanoma, when allowed to go to advanced stages, isn't ever classified as cured or in remission. it is classified as not active. I have 3 spots that have been showing up on PET scans( one in my back, one on my chest, and one on a kidney) for a few years now, but they haven't been active.
and they can take off at anytime without my knowledge.

it can be a bugger sometimes. I get a migraine and can freak out and think the cancer went active and metasticized to my brain. my back can start hurting and I can think the cancer metasticized there. I can get sick and think the cancer went active in my kidneys.


the great thing is today I have choices!!! I can allow myself to fall into fear, self pity, and resentments
OR
I can accept whatever is going on or I can stay in self pity and fear and allow it to destroy me, which when I do that, people start turning their backs on me.

acceptance has been an answer to many of my problems- the problems I cant change.
for the ones I can change, I have a choice to either live in the solution or stay in the problem, which staying in the problem,welp, I have many years of experience of how well that doesn't work.

heres something from one of the stories in the big book of aaa that I read often:
Acceptance
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed,
It is because I find some person, place, thing, situation --
Some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me,
And I can find no serenity until I accept
That person, place, thing, or situation
As being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake.
Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober;
Unless I accept life completely on life's terms,
I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much
On what needs to be changed in the world
As on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."


and a thought to consider:

Acceptance is not submission;
It is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation,
Then deciding what you're going to do about it.

I lived my life wrapped up in self pity, poor me, nobody likes me, it is everyone else's fault, it's too hard, I can't help it, etc. Positive thinking proponents used to annoy me; they didn't have to live my crappy life. :scared:

It has come to me in fits and starts, slowly and in huge epiphanies, that I don't have to live like a victim. I can choose to look at things differently. That I am the only one responsible for my actions, for my reactions and for my attitude.

Once I began to disown the victimhood (and it has been work, I have to 'splain things to myself on a regular basis :lmao) I have felt a lightness in living that I have never experienced before.

It is very freeing for me to not feel the weight of the worlds disapproval on my shoulders.

Great post! In my early days of recovery, I was a wreck. I was scared to death and it seemed like my life was falling apart. My sponsor would remind me to focus on today, on what I have right now. He instructed me to ask myself, "What's the worst thing that could happen today?" Usually, nothing was going to happen that day, and the things I was so worried about weren't guaranteed to happen either. In fact, most of those things did not happen. Some other things did, both good and bad, but it was much easier to just deal with them as they came. It takes effort to change up those old ways of "dealing" with life, but it's well worth it.