Della1968

Awesome post!! Gratitude is number one for me. My life has not been sunshine and fairy dust but everyday I can see someone who has it worse. I try to always see something to be grateful for in every every experience good or bad. Feeling sorry for myself and thinking I had the worst life ever made me a drunk it sure as hell isn't going to keep me sober.

thomas11

I've come to believe that the mind is more powerful that we realize, and that can be both good and bad. It can drive us to achieve great things; it can defeat us before we get out of the gate. Like anything powerful, we must choose to use it wisely. Great post Dee.

tursiops999

Great thread! I too am a believer in a daily gratitude list ... it seems to start my day off in the right direction. I find that it rewires my brain ... after more than a year of starting most mornings by writing down 5 - 10 things I am grateful for, now I find that the habit of turning toward the positive is much stronger.

I'm often just writing "small" things on my morning list -- I'm grateful that a hummingbird just passed through my backyard, I'm grateful that it's cloudy today because it will make it cooler when I exercise. But weirdly, that has re-wired my brain so that when "big" things happen, I respond by seeing the positive more than the negative.

Meditation and mindfulness also help me become aware of when negative thoughts are arising, and give me a choice ... I don't have to follow those thoughts or entertain them, I can just see them and let them go.

Of course it's all a work in process ... takes daily attention and I still entertain negative thoughts some times. But the trend is toward the positive, as long as I put in a little bit of effort every day.

Dee74

Some great stuff here

Yeah Stevie I had N.V.Peale in mind - that book and Dale Carnegie's book How To Win Friends were two books very important to me as a young man

Peale:

Change your thoughts and you change your world.

Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have.

Carnegie:

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.

and the biggie which a lot of people baulk at at first glance

Remember happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think.

I really believe, no matter what the situation, we can always change our attitude for the better

D

Dee74

hypochondriac

After being the Queen of negative thinking in my drinking days that has all changed now, and it happened gradually, without me having to force it. I was a miserable git in early sobriety and anyone who spoke to me then knows that gratitude wasn't my strong point. I have had a fair amount of **** to deal with sober and over time it has just got easier to stay positive about it. Everyone's issues are bad to them, it doesn't matter that someone has it worse or that everything isn't how you want it right now. Everyone, sober or drunk has **** to deal with. But drunk me was incapable of looking past the current issue that was 'making' me drink. Once I stopped there were no more excuses and I had to work through stuff to stop me from backsliding. I still get stressed about stuff but I don't just sit there drinking hoping they will go away now, I do something about it. Actions and thoughts are linked. Even if you can't think positively just do the next thing you need to do and eventually you will start being more able to cope with the stuff that gets you down. For me that has led to living a more authentic life where there are far fewer things to complain about

Fly N Buy

That second part of the serenity prayer holds some simple, positive thoughts I find helpful........

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.

waynetheking

The power of positive thinking! It's a wonderful thing dee. Just getting sober is positive. We all take a risk by sobering up. We're facing the unknown. When we win on that risk, it reinforces our positivity. Builds on it. Mixed with enthusiasm it can take us places we never thought possible.
Great post. Thank you!

Soberpotamus

Yes! Such a great point. I'd say we're all pretty brave and adventurous at this point, because we certainly are venturing into the unknown by living sober. Lots of us, anyway. I drank in my late teens, so I hadn't faced life as an adult truly sober until I quit drinking.

bemyself

Great topic Dee and everyone.
I'm kinda leery of the Positive Thinking 'industry' as it's taken off since Peale's time - while along the way, things in the world are getting worse and worse, including currently. I study a lot of this stuff, and I struggle with - in effect - trying to ignore it or pretend it's not as bad.

Having said that, I guess I need to work with the point someone made above - about acceptance not being submission, but rather acknowledging the facts / reality and working out what (if anything) I can do about it. I still struggle to accept a kind of passivity implicit within that whole assumption [i.e. there's very little li'l ole me can 'do' about stuff, so might as well stick my head in the sand, make hay etc etc], but...I can still, each moment, each day 'do something' about how I cope with it.

'Coping' usually comes back to 'chop wood, carry water' for me. And given my levels of procrastination over the simplest things, well, that in itself can have a big effect on my day. It doesn't change the world, so to speak, but it might just keep me alive and sober.

Sometimes that bottom line ('well, at least I'm sober today') can feel like a pretty minimalist raw deal :-)....but then, the alternative....................................... ....ugh. We all know that much, 'beyond, there be dragons'!!!