zjw

lol sleep thats great "crippling anxiety is my cardio" sooo true if only tho!! man. and ya know some people who are very nervious and figity are rediculously lean and i swear its the fact that there nervines and twitching all the time. Then theres people like me who gotta work for it *sigh* and still suffer anxiety.

Yeah Cow I hear heart only beat so many times so why excercise might jsut use up all my beats too soon hahaha. Better to sit back kick feet up take slow relax enjoy life lol.

Yeah I agree in the end eating nothing but whole foods is a great option. I did that myself Just prior to going to this diet and it worked out well. My downfal tho is I love meat too much I 'd eat too much of it and ignore the rest on my plate!! no discipline its all or nothing with me with everything never an in between. LIke drinking me? 1 or 2 drinks NAH have to get falling down drunk every single time. Steak for dinner? 4 oz portion? 6 ounce poriont? 8 ounce protion? NOPE i need like 16oz portion and i'm looking for more!!! Now with this fruit thing its the same thing 1 banana? 2 banana? nope need like 30 and a pile of dates!! I just find this way of eating keeps me out of trouble and i can still be a ravenous pig lol.

I tried magnesium for anxiety not to long ago it was helpnig but then i was getting too lazy and such. Annoys me. I've learned tho over the eyars I do require a little bit of anxiety just to keep me motivated. I may not like it but I do require a little bit. I just wish it was only a little bit all the time *sigh*

Cow

What?! NO DISCIPLINE! OMG! You so weak! What wrong with you?! Who ever hear of addict with no discipline??!!

I take mag as a mix chelate at night and only cuz I has heart condition that make for frequent tachycardia. Lenina, I not can tolerate mag oil, cuz it burn my skin.

Okay, so today, healthy thing I wish to do for self is throw out coffee and chocolate I has in house. I know. I hear you. ... "Cow?! You has that in house?! You has been on stimulant/booze rollercoaster for so long, what wrong with you?!"

I just can not say how much it seem total right and sane when you in place of severe dysphoric depressions to has some stimulant. It feel like you literal is saving you life.

sleepie

Actually I think I overdid it yesterday. I was really really nervous the whole time and a few people stared at me due to my glasses and the wait person where we ate laughed at me and kept staring at my glasses, and this is not in my head people they are thick and no I am not eligible for lasik and could never afford vanity surgeries anyway. I was very upset and tried to ignore it so today I am just dysfunctional, tried to shower and go out and that did not work out well at all. Back in my dark cool room alone where it is safe.

Cow

Sleepies, who give crap about them! I has never in my life laugh or talk about anybody cuz of they physical attribute, and you know I not very nice person. That just super shallow. You impressive on the inside. I know that not make it easier in life, but I hope it make it easier inside you skin. Please not hide out, world needs you.

neferkamichael

I hurt my back lifting more weight than I should've even looked at Tuesday, but it didn't even go that good for my boss, on Thursday he had a heart attack or stroke, and of course hoping the best for him. So Cow we are all rootin for ya.

Cow

Oh. My. God. My Egypt prophet just spoke! I am so very humble. It must be sign. Come on, Cow!

zjw

sleepie you win some and you loose some no big deal thats just how life is tommorrow is another day you can take another crack at it then but in the mean time enjoy the rest of the day anyway you can.

yeah cow I got months and months with no coffee or something then ONE Bad night and i have a cup next ya know i'm having a cup daily for 3 months or something ::Facepalm::

Now I try to keep it civil if i do it now. Back in my drinking days I started each day with at least a POT of coffee to perk me up out of a hangover.

But I do notice typically if i'm getting adequate sleep I feel a zillion itmes better then i do if i do even just 1 cup of coffee daily. I guess it burns out my adrenals or soemthing and sucks the life out of me over time. That being said I'm not really a FIRED UP AND READY TO GO kinda person so I do kinda enjoy the kick in the butt that coffee can provide so once in a while i have a cup just for that even and get hooked again!!

Chocolate.... .thats another story. I cant have a banana or date smoothie with out some chocolate!! but i dont use like milk chocolate i just use coco powder there is enough sugar in dates as it is no need to add sugar.

Another good one is toast with raspberry jam and a little dusting of coco powder Or A pile of raspberries with like 20 dates in a smoothie with a teaspoon or 2 of coco powder!!!


all fat free and vegan too . Ok i confessed my sins forgive me please HAHAH.

sleepie

You know, I have been criticized, picked on and made to feel bad about my appearance my whole entire life. I have zero control over my eyesight. To me it is the same as making fun of someone in a wheelchair, I need glasses to function.

Anyway, it's easy to go "Oh it doesn't matter what other people think" every now and then, but after a life time? I am worn out. it takes a mountain of mental energy and basically delusion to maintain that frame of mind, and it wears a person down to a nub. It wears. you. out. I ran out of that kind of energy after the first 30 years of having to do it.

Done.

Anyway I will maybe take a break here as all that made me feel terrible and ashamed and I can't really function today.

Cow

I understand ... ... but what if we need you?

sleepie

That pic that neferkamichael posted is making my screen all elongated.
I dunno I'll lurk a little later.

I can't mail anything til Mon. Cow it didn't happen today :/

Cow

My screen too! But, in life, I that what I call a "quality problem."

Sleepies, let face it. It not ever gonna "happen," but we just has to keep going though --at least that what you tell me! We still in it together, yes?

trachemys

sleepie, you gotta be here! I can't make it without you.

Cow

... ... oh, well, wow. What is I, chop livers?

OMG!! LOVE TRIANGLE! TONIGHT ON "REAL DRUNKLIVES OF THE SR"!!!

sleepie

All I'm gonna say... I just figured out this always gets worse for me around holidays especially the parent based ones.

Now I return to regular programming of remaining sedentary in a dark room with Netflix, who never judges me.

Cow

Is okay Sleepies, we not judges you. My papa rape me, so when my brothers call up to say "What is we doing for Father Day?!" even though they both know what happen (?!) it really crushing to me and make me furious.

I not mean to be dramatic, I total know lot of womens has such story.

trachemys

No more.

Cow, I want "woe is moo" gone If we're gonna improve, we're gonna improve. Change it, trash it, time for change. I mean it, missy, How long since you been called "missy"?

sleepie, I'm not there to wrap you in my arms. My sisters tell me I give better hugs than anyone on the planet. I can't be there but I want you to believe that I mean that hug,

Cow

Oooh. I like a feisty turtle.

But I not changing it, till I FEEL it. I hope you can respects that, Trach. Unfortunate, that still how I see world. I trying. I change it as soon as any sliver of light shine in my eye. And when I do, it be real.

I hope you still around for that. God know, you earn it, my friend.

zjw

Sometimes all you can do is shrug and keep walking forward some times all you can do is breathe. Hang in there guys.

zjw

This is well said I like the dillusion part I love how you always call a spade a spade.

Hang in there sleepie. Sometimes in a situation the best thing you can do for self is sigh least I got glasses ::shrug::

sleepie

Guys what is this phrase "quacking" I see around here on the site?

Does that mean a lot of talk, like talk is cheap kinda thing?