TallGuyUK

I have finally come to terms with the fact I am an alcoholic. I realised this yesterday when I hit rock bottom. I had to admit to my wife that I had spent a weekend in a brothel and prostitutes flat completely wasted, off my face on booze, coke and mdma. I spent £4000 and was completely ripped off whilst out of control.

Alcohol has been a factor in my life now for 20 years and in the last 5 it has become a serious addiction. As a result of my drinking, it has triggered a very dark side of my personality causing me to make terrible decisions and be unfaithful. I have also become fat and bloated.

My addiction got very bad in the last year or two and my weekly intake is probably about 7-10 bottles of wine. I am not a regular drug user but the weekend incident proves I have an addictive personality and turns me into a monster.

My wife has booked me in for an appointment at rehab and we decided to post here and ask for any thoughts or advice for me starting a new sober life.

doggonecarl

I think rehab is a good choice, if you follow through. You couldn't quit on your own the last time you were on Sober Recovery, so help to get sober is wise.

My advice for starting a new life sober? Treat recovery like you life depends on it...

...cause it does.

Berrybean

Rehab is a good idea. I the meantime you can walk into any AA meeting any time you like. Thousands to choose from in London.

You can get sober. You can make your life manageable again. You can learn to be happy and comfortable in sobriety. And you can clear away the wreckage of your active alcoholic period. All by staying sober for one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Acceptance and willingness will stand you in better stead in this battle than willpower or 'fighting it'.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

least

I hope you'll do whatever it takes to get and stay sober.

Hevyn

Hi TallGuy. Glad to have you with us.

Alcohol turned me into someone awful too. In the beginning it was fun & relaxing - but after years of using it to cope with life, things changed. I became dependent on it & it tore my life apart. You can get free and reclaim your life. Keep reading & posting - we care.

sleepie

At times one must do and leave it at that.

Just when it gets all complicated and sticky, whatever you do, do NOT return to alcohol. Just that one thing is what I would really really suggest.

Also try and show thanks from time to time for your wife... she is supporting you through this all? She sounds like an amazing person.

Best of luck and reach out often.

ScottFromWI

I would agree that the appointment at rehab is a great idea. You haven't been able to quit on your own in the past and you most likely won't have a wife or life soon if you keep up your current behavior. As a side note, You should feel extremely fortunate to still have your wife's support after your last binge.

Fluffer

Welcome, TallGuy. It sounds like you already know what you need to do. Best of luck in your new life!

Behappy1

Sounds like you're doing the right thing with rehab. Give it everything that you have.

I agree with the others - sounds like you have an amazing, supporting wife for her to be by your side through this. Gratitude for that is a great thing.

leviathan

Welcome.

SoberCAH

This is great news, TallGuy.

We're very happy you're with us.

I haven't had a drink or a drug since the day I walked into the treatment center.

I concur with the other folks on this thread that sobriety is a life or death matter.

Keep us posted, amigo.

TallGuyUK

I'd like to say thank you to the lovely replies. I realise now that alcohol has been a contributory if not the sole factor in causing my bad behaviour and poor decisions. Alcohol has been in my life for so very long now and I was in denial that it was a problem, until now.

I want to prove to my amazing, beautiful, genuine and trustworthy wife that I can change and by quitting the booze I am sure I will not return to pattern of destructive behaviour that almost lost me my life. We are looking forward to doing the things in life we could never do before because we were worried about not being able to drink!

I would be interested to know if any others have experienced and/or carried out 'sexual deviance' because of being drunk that has now gone since quitting booze?

entropy1964

Hey Tallguy

Glad you realize the damage alcohol has done. Dig deep and you can do this. Having a motivator like a spouse is great, but remember this is an inside job and you have to do this because YOU absolutely want to be a better, healthier and happier you.

Alcohol seriously lowers our inhibitions. And I believe in late stage alcoholism behavioral changes become incredibly severe....so anything is possible. I absolutely do not resemble my sober self when I'm drinking. I don't even leave the house, but I'm crazy as hell. Doesn't mean I don't own that person's behavior, I do. But that is a complete alter ego. Its terrifying.

ScottFromWI

I think you answered your own question in the first half of your message ;-) Most of us have done hateful/shameful/illegal/immoral things while we were drunk. There's really no concrete answer as to "why" but it's a very good bet to say that alcohol contributed to it.

Whether or not these traits "go away" after we quit drinking really depends on how one goes about their recovery. If you simply "don't drink" then some of the traits may continue. AKA - the addiction will just transfer to something else or the addictive habits will continue even after removing alcohol.

Also keep in mind that many of us have underlying conditions that need to be treated separately ( Depression, anxiety, PTSD, physical health issues, etc ). Stopping the drink is a necessary first step to help with these conditions, but it isn't a cure in itself.

trachemys

Tallguy's wife: You are hereby nominated for sainthood. Tallguy: you better live up to her.

thomas11

I would be interested to know if any others have experienced and/or carried out 'sexual deviance' because of being drunk that has now gone since quitting booze?

Since alcohol lowers inhibitions, even in my drunken state I would avoid situations I would later regret. I did that because I am also capable of anything when drunk, and I would feel so incredibly guilty when I sobered up. I no longer have to even consider such disasters anymore because I'm 99.9% sure I'll never return to rock bottom again.

TallGuyUK

Some great and helpful comments here. My first session of rehab has uncovered some truths. You are right there is more to it than just alcoholism but without alcohol in the frame things get easier to deal with, my behaviour is more controlled and my conscience is intact. Indeed my wife is a saint and in all aspects of life I don't know what I'd do without her. I sincerely owe it to her to mend my ways.

Thanks again for the support.

Soberwolf

Good job TG

miko67

I've done all you've done tall guy.
When the drink is in the demon is let loose, coke. , crack smack id take anything there at the end of my using and sex is just another buzz.

I'm glad your getting help pal coz for me I couldn't do it alone. I've bn on SR for years and find this very informative , with a lot of kindness n love too.

Hope you can get sober and turn it around, but you need to want it for yourself, not your wife, job , house ect.
The biggest asset is the gift of desperation , with this gift you can open your mind to listen to some solutions out there, coz sobriety isn't easy but it's well well well well worth it!
Good luck.

JimdiGriz

Interesting question: I think they're probably closely linked. I would wonder if it's the same personality or a series,of separate selves , each strengthened and given a voice by the liberating sprit of alcohol. Anyway, you'll definitely notice some immediate and positive changes by being here . Good luck