Sleepie's Summer Support Thread
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Well Hawk, here we go, starting tomorrow.
I remember back in the 90's there was a heat wave that killed hundreds and hundreds of people where I live. I am so nervous, I am always afraid the AC will go out.
I remember back in the 90's there was a heat wave that killed hundreds and hundreds of people where I live. I am so nervous, I am always afraid the AC will go out.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
Wishing all goes well for you and everyone in your city today.
Clouds helped here some yesterday, but I think sunny today.
I just had my first shower of the morning, but planning on more.
Take care and keep us posted how it goes--
Clouds helped here some yesterday, but I think sunny today.
I just had my first shower of the morning, but planning on more.
Take care and keep us posted how it goes--
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by sleepie 
Well Hawk, here we go, starting tomorrow.
I remember back in the 90's there was a heat wave that killed hundreds and hundreds of people where I live. I am so nervous, I am always afraid the AC will go out.
I remember back in the 90's there was a heat wave that killed hundreds and hundreds of people where I live. I am so nervous, I am always afraid the AC will go out.
This is your support thread too - have you gotten any strategies from your doctor/therapist that you recently saw regarding the news that you don't have LD and are mainly dealing with anxiety and depression now? There are a lot of people here on SR that deal with those issues too so if you would like to learn some strategies to cope, sharing what you are doing yourself would help. Staying holed up and just ruminating about what "might" happen to you is a very bad coping strategy - in fact it makes things worse. I spent many hours in my "bad" anxiety days poring over the internet using "Dr Google" to find out what horrible disease/condition I might have based on what I felt that day, and it absolutely made the anxiety worse. Accepting that we have anxiety ( just like accepting alcoholism ) and then learning coping strategies is the ticket out. Just like "not drinking" is not sobriety - the drinking itself is merely the symptom. Same for anxiety - the physical sensations and the worry are just the symptom.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Thanks guys.
Well now I see the heat index is a mere 98. Not bad. I won't be going out in it but at least no triple digits, for now anyway. Unless I missed it.
We have a lot of homeless right near our area. People are always complaining about them but really, if they want to sleep under an overpass just let them. I fear for them on days like this. That's a really hard life.
I have a lot to process. There's a lot going on. We have an extra room here, closet sized (which I prefer) that is being cleared out hopefully for a meditation area. Remember I said I was doing a self guided plan? I paid therapists for years (money I didn't have) and it amounted to nothing. As a matter of fact the 1st one threw klonopin at me right away. I never took it. In hindsight I almost wish I had. Maybe my life would have taken a different course. I had zero interest in drugs or alcohol back then.
About the LD, I have been letting that process for awhile. I am glad you brought it up because I have been sort of letting that whole experience move through me. I'll try in a somewhat clumsy way to do this. So, I have several things going on at once:
1) I had a lot of textbook symptoms growing up and still do- but no LD. That my trouble is due to anxiety and depression really blows me away- that it can mess with a person to that degree. That these things can derail a life.
2) This has caused me to reflect even more on what I went through in my early life. I had no awareness that I could/would be so affected by this and now understand I was probably depressed as a kid too- which I don't think is good to go ignored- but it was. I mean, plenty of signs were there- I didn't eat for a year! I cut for the 1st time, I totally isolated, etc. That I am so disconnected to not even think "Yeah, duh I have probably been some level of depressed for most of my life" kind of upsets me.
I was trained to smile no matter what and never, ever let myself feel bad- for years I just forced that smile and upbeat attitude no matter how horrible I felt inside. Was not allowed to show emotion through near 2 decades of abusive family, never showed "negative" emotions at work for years after that... Looks like it caught up with me. And no therapist ever suggested this either which only bolsters my total loss of faith in that whole profession.
3) I wonder just how much abuse/negative messages a person has to receive to think that there is something "wrong" with them to this degree. I am not suggesting anything is wrong with anyone who has ld or any other non neuro-typical grey mater. As a matter of fact I lament living in a world that appreciates a small scope of abilities.
But, for me to think that yes certainly there must be a reason that I was treated the way I was- because something is "wrong" with me- is another way to blame myself for being abused. Duped again, Even though I know none of it was my fault- it seems I will always veer towards a way to find something wrong with me that could induce such awful behavior from not only my family, but peers and even teachers growing up. Which goes to show how deep the damage can run in such situations.
And frankly, that makes me pretty mad.
Well now I see the heat index is a mere 98. Not bad. I won't be going out in it but at least no triple digits, for now anyway. Unless I missed it.
We have a lot of homeless right near our area. People are always complaining about them but really, if they want to sleep under an overpass just let them. I fear for them on days like this. That's a really hard life.
I have a lot to process. There's a lot going on. We have an extra room here, closet sized (which I prefer) that is being cleared out hopefully for a meditation area. Remember I said I was doing a self guided plan? I paid therapists for years (money I didn't have) and it amounted to nothing. As a matter of fact the 1st one threw klonopin at me right away. I never took it. In hindsight I almost wish I had. Maybe my life would have taken a different course. I had zero interest in drugs or alcohol back then.
About the LD, I have been letting that process for awhile. I am glad you brought it up because I have been sort of letting that whole experience move through me. I'll try in a somewhat clumsy way to do this. So, I have several things going on at once:
1) I had a lot of textbook symptoms growing up and still do- but no LD. That my trouble is due to anxiety and depression really blows me away- that it can mess with a person to that degree. That these things can derail a life.
2) This has caused me to reflect even more on what I went through in my early life. I had no awareness that I could/would be so affected by this and now understand I was probably depressed as a kid too- which I don't think is good to go ignored- but it was. I mean, plenty of signs were there- I didn't eat for a year! I cut for the 1st time, I totally isolated, etc. That I am so disconnected to not even think "Yeah, duh I have probably been some level of depressed for most of my life" kind of upsets me.
I was trained to smile no matter what and never, ever let myself feel bad- for years I just forced that smile and upbeat attitude no matter how horrible I felt inside. Was not allowed to show emotion through near 2 decades of abusive family, never showed "negative" emotions at work for years after that... Looks like it caught up with me. And no therapist ever suggested this either which only bolsters my total loss of faith in that whole profession.
3) I wonder just how much abuse/negative messages a person has to receive to think that there is something "wrong" with them to this degree. I am not suggesting anything is wrong with anyone who has ld or any other non neuro-typical grey mater. As a matter of fact I lament living in a world that appreciates a small scope of abilities.
But, for me to think that yes certainly there must be a reason that I was treated the way I was- because something is "wrong" with me- is another way to blame myself for being abused. Duped again, Even though I know none of it was my fault- it seems I will always veer towards a way to find something wrong with me that could induce such awful behavior from not only my family, but peers and even teachers growing up. Which goes to show how deep the damage can run in such situations.
And frankly, that makes me pretty mad.
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,833
We had some unexpected rain yesterday, so that cooled things down a bit. It was actually pretty comfy sleeping weather last night, not nearly as bad as I'd feared. Sometimes we do get a break
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Yesterday as it got down to about the high 80's I actually sat outside for a bit, we had rain too. Very, very early in the morning it cooled off here too... but wow is it humid now. We opened the windows but we'll have to use the AC agin today :/
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
yeah sleepie i just told someone yest after a while I just assumed i deserved the abuse like i mean it was not normal abuse but rather discipline and i was just beated down and figured i deserved it and I had no way to fight back
I grew up became the product of that abuse. That product of the abuse was not me tho. I dunno WTF me was / is. Depression? I had NO IDEA i was depressed. I new i was anxious but i had no idea i was depressed. When i started to kinda see the sunshine so to say i thought OMFG i'm miserably depressed arent I ? and those around me where like DUH!!! I' was SHOCKED how depressed i was and I was totally unaware. and how easily i could backslide right back into it totally unaware.
So there i was newly sober the product over my abuse (all my fault or so i felt) depressed anxoius and NO Effing idea who i was.
I started to think back younger and younger years when times where good. there really where not any. all i could kinda figure out about who i was teeny glimpses fo memories of various aspects of me over the years that seemed to feel right and I went with those as a building block foundation if you will of the me that is today. I didnt have a whole lot to work with tho it was scary but also kinda cool to be able to recreate me.
It'll work out slowly but surely all this "Stuff" from your past wont be what you are etc.. It might help you be a better person and such but it wont be this negative bag of garbage that drags you down.
I grew up became the product of that abuse. That product of the abuse was not me tho. I dunno WTF me was / is. Depression? I had NO IDEA i was depressed. I new i was anxious but i had no idea i was depressed. When i started to kinda see the sunshine so to say i thought OMFG i'm miserably depressed arent I ? and those around me where like DUH!!! I' was SHOCKED how depressed i was and I was totally unaware. and how easily i could backslide right back into it totally unaware.
So there i was newly sober the product over my abuse (all my fault or so i felt) depressed anxoius and NO Effing idea who i was.
I started to think back younger and younger years when times where good. there really where not any. all i could kinda figure out about who i was teeny glimpses fo memories of various aspects of me over the years that seemed to feel right and I went with those as a building block foundation if you will of the me that is today. I didnt have a whole lot to work with tho it was scary but also kinda cool to be able to recreate me.
It'll work out slowly but surely all this "Stuff" from your past wont be what you are etc.. It might help you be a better person and such but it wont be this negative bag of garbage that drags you down.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
zjw is it humid over there?
Please be careful... I just read an article last night on running in heat. One hour in 90 degrees while running can push one quite close to heat stroke.
I am not trying to scare you I just don't want you to get hurt/ill.
Please be careful... I just read an article last night on running in heat. One hour in 90 degrees while running can push one quite close to heat stroke.
I am not trying to scare you I just don't want you to get hurt/ill.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
i'm not sure how bad the humidity is it can be killer tho. I've run in some bad heat before 99% of the time its just fine for me I guess i'm used to it. Tho entirely not heat related at times i do get like this heart flutter thing and i'll stop for a sec and then go again just fine. Other then that no issues.
I was in florida a couple years ago running in much hotter and humid weather then this and I recall afterwards sitting outside drinking a smoothie and freezing my butt off lol. My body can be funny about regulating temp fo ra couple hours after a run at times so yeah I might shiver even tho its like 95 degrees.
I was in florida a couple years ago running in much hotter and humid weather then this and I recall afterwards sitting outside drinking a smoothie and freezing my butt off lol. My body can be funny about regulating temp fo ra couple hours after a run at times so yeah I might shiver even tho its like 95 degrees.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
REALLY? i felt totally fine tho otherwise. never happens while i run its like after when i get inside and such.
rarely happens tho. When i first started running it was pretty common to finish a run and for like 4 hours or so after wards i might have to bundle up. when i read about it i read it was common IE they might give marathon runnres blankets at the end of a race for simlier reasons etc...
rarely happens tho. When i first started running it was pretty common to finish a run and for like 4 hours or so after wards i might have to bundle up. when i read about it i read it was common IE they might give marathon runnres blankets at the end of a race for simlier reasons etc...
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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omg YES! It's really bad. Someone must be looking out for you because that is dangerously close to heat stroke.
Heatstroke
Scroll down to "When does heat stroke become critical?"
Not to worry you- but you must take care.
Heatstroke
Scroll down to "When does heat stroke become critical?"
Not to worry you- but you must take care.
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