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Sleepie's Summer Support Thread

Old 07-27-2016, 04:38 AM
  # 181 (permalink)  
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Looks like some cooler weather is FINALLY on the way for the next few days. Hopefully the worst of the heat & humidity is now past us
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Old 07-27-2016, 04:53 AM
  # 182 (permalink)  
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It was stuffy up here in the apartment yesterday and I was so slow and fatigued all day. I got about 3.5 hours sleep as it was still too uncomfortable to sleep.

I go through each day in a kind of exhausted haze getting nothing done. Sometimes I just fantasize about a valium and all of it would fade out, I'd feel ok and I could finally get proper rest. I was thinking yesterday I have not had a good night's rest in over a year. I am losing hope that I ever will.
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Old 07-27-2016, 05:31 AM
  # 183 (permalink)  
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yeah speaking of I thought about starting a thread today about sleep myself. here i am at 5+ years with many nights where i just stare at the ceiling. Just had my second night in a row of that and most nights where its not that bad i'm still up every hour to pee.

Its old it really is and I have no idea wtf to do about it. But ya know its almost nothing new tho the severity of it is i guess. years ago i went to a doc about it. all he wantted to do was put me on ambien said it was no long term solution and that he'd give me enough for a week or wtvr it was and sent me to a nerologist for tests. The nerologist did this and did that and trie dhtis medication and that and really had no idea and I felt like a guiniea pig and stopped going.

I wish i had more beneficial info to share sleepie.

I guess what helps me is to tone my life down a few hours before bed. I also wear a sleeping mask. I try not to have too much stimulation before bed too no scary shows or big outings etc... No suspenseful movies for me anymore like ever etc... I also make sure i eat something and sometimes have a cup of tea or something.

despite all these things the best i can hope for is a night where i wake up every hour to pee. *sigh* and I tried a lot with that as well cutting off fluids at various times and so on forget it.

I'd like to think perhaps i just got too much swirling in my head and thats why? Nope I've learned to calm that stuff all down pretty well so luckily thats not too much of an issue anymore.

I almost called in sick today because of it. instead i'll just sit here and probably get next to nothing accomplished because I cant focus.
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Old 07-27-2016, 03:39 PM
  # 184 (permalink)  
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Today was no good. Whatever tiny amount of acclimating I got for myself must have been destroyed when we had the AC on during the heat wave. I would not have survived several days in the triple digits. I must be a total freak because no one I know IRL feels this way and the day it was 109 out our friends took their baby to the park. I was on the verge of being ill all day today and it is only in the high 80's. It's been cool showers all day and sitting around with wet hair and clothes in front of a fan. This is not living.

I feel really cheated because I have been sober over 1/2 a year which felt like an accomplishment as far as that goes but I am not getting any reward for it. Meanwhile everyone else enjoys their summer beers. I really thought it was going to be a better summer and it's even worse than last year when I was detoxing.

Not cool. Literally. Not cool at all.
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Old 07-27-2016, 04:04 PM
  # 185 (permalink)  
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Summerfail
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Old 07-27-2016, 04:09 PM
  # 186 (permalink)  
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Sleeps, I'll tell you what I tell my boss when he tries to get me to do the impossible: "don't expect anything and you can't be disappointed." I think you are expecting too much too soon.

I fear you are treating this like some kind of punishment or just another part of life that Sleepie got screwed over in. Other people getting to enjoy alcohol has nothing to do with us. At 7 months the worst was over but I still had a long way to go. I had what I call the brain spins when my mind would just not shut up. That went on until almost the end of the second year. It had a purpose though because I had a lot of ground to cover being mentally out for almost a decade. It wasn't until month 9 that I got back whatever was taken from me by the alcohol and I could just enjoy being again and not having to have a drink in my hand. That was just recovering from booze too.

You haven't been cheated at all. You are escaping a really destructive cycle that some people never get free of...no cheated.
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Old 07-27-2016, 04:37 PM
  # 187 (permalink)  
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my reward for 13 months sober was a stage 3 metastatic melanoma diagnosis.i had quite a few plans for my life sober, but instead spent the next 3 years fighting for my life- 5 surgeries, a clinical trial that was stopped due to recurrance, 2 rounds of chemo with the 2nd one being stopped as it almost killed me, uncountable PET scans, mri's, ct scans, blood draws...pretty much every test short of a pregnancy test. as a result of it all, i have lasting side effects- migraines, fatigue, sensitivity to heat and cold( I burn up in the summer and freeze in the winter), immune system is weak and i get sick real easy( its a miracle if i go a month without getting sick), lymphedema stikes my left arm if i over use it(im left handed) and that aint very fun, stabbing pains in the surgery locations, since one of the surgeries was to remove a part of a vertabrae that the cancer got into i have a limit on weight lifted and consequences if i break that........... quite a few other lasting side effects, plus i STILL have the cancer. melanoma, when it gets to a certain stage isnt classified as in remission or cure- just not active.
its not a matter of if it comes back, but when. i live every day knowing it can come back at any time- it could be going crazy inside me right now without me knowing it.
once planning on starting my own business, im now on disability. i never know how im going to be feeling one day to the next so cant solidify plans. some days my plans are shot because fatigue decides to show up. some days my plans are shot because i was around someone that was sick and now i am.
once an outdoor freak-i worked and played outside my entire life(except for 10 years i worked in a machine shop, which i didnt like because i was cooped up inside) and even lived in a tent for many summers- i now have to be even more careful being outside. i cant work or play in the yard like i used to or want to-ANY SEASON OF THE YEAR.

do i feel cheated?
i used to, but that self pity didnt do me any good and i didnt like how it made me feel.
so, i took the choice of changing me and my attitudes about life.

even though i cant do everything i used to do like i used to do it, i have an awesome life. i worked very hard at changing my perceptions of my life. there are hundreds of of thousands of people in this world that would absolutely love to have my life and my problems and would gladly change places with me.

no, i wasnt cheated.
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Old 07-27-2016, 07:11 PM
  # 188 (permalink)  
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Hey silentrun. Good to know. Sigh month 9... well at least then it will almost be Fall. Well you know, 7 months is a long time but then also kind of not. Boy, I recall when I would go a week or a month and think it was a long time!

The sleep think drives me nuts to you know? It has been over a year since I got a decent night's rest. Since before my taper way back when. I mean I have gotten used to not being rested or sleeping but long term... it's really starting to chip away at me, it is another thing I was thinking would straighten out with abstinence but no dice. Some days I do just wonder what I did all that for. And why wouldn't I? I am sure I am not the only one to have ever felt that way. So yeah. Long term sleep shortage, heat exhaustion, anxiety and dysthmia/depression, no real life support (as in family or SO or anything)and still maintaining sobriety. I mean every now and then I try and feel good about it .... but I would really, really not mind if anything actually improved as a result of abstinence.
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Old 07-27-2016, 07:32 PM
  # 189 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by silentrun View Post
Sleeps, I'll tell you what I tell my boss when he tries to get me to do the impossible: "don't expect anything and you can't be disappointed." I think you are expecting too much too soon.

I fear you are treating this like some kind of punishment or just another part of life that Sleepie got screwed over in. Other people getting to enjoy alcohol has nothing to do with us. At 7 months the worst was over but I still had a long way to go. I had what I call the brain spins when my mind would just not shut up. That went on until almost the end of the second year. It had a purpose though because I had a lot of ground to cover being mentally out for almost a decade. It wasn't until month 9 that I got back whatever was taken from me by the alcohol and I could just enjoy being again and not having to have a drink in my hand. That was just recovering from booze too.

You haven't been cheated at all. You are escaping a really destructive cycle that some people never get free of...no cheated.
^^This!!^^ Love everything Silentrun said!

The sleeping part is rough. Lack of sleep makes us more anxious and lowers our energy so it is really important to get that problem worked out.

D.
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Old 07-27-2016, 07:32 PM
  # 190 (permalink)  
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Have you tried any guided meditations on youtube? or binaural beats or even TED talks (they sometimes help me relax)?

4-7-8 breathing technique?
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Old 07-27-2016, 07:37 PM
  # 191 (permalink)  
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Hi guys. I listened to a lot of binaural beats while I was tapering last year and sometimes it did help at least a little as far a s when I was having anxiety attacks. I have done meditation, guided meditation and also breathing but nothing helps as far as sleep. I suspect that it is simply a thing that will have to sort itself out, probably something changed as a result of relying on alcohol or benzos for sleep for a number of years.

I do know that when Fall gets here I will feel better and probably sleep better. I am always more active in the cooler months and I find grey skies to be calming.

Oh, I do the breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth thing several times a day as well.
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Old 07-27-2016, 07:58 PM
  # 192 (permalink)  
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Funny that Sugarbear mentioned Ted Talks to help him/her sleep. I listen to something similar, The Moth.There are a lot of uplifting/relaxing ones that really put me to sleep. Maybe it's the soothing voices?
Something about binaural beats reminded me of horror movie soundtracks...so that didn't work for me.

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Old 07-27-2016, 08:00 PM
  # 193 (permalink)  
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Ya know, I remember 6 months of sobriety. For me, my sleep was not good then. I was unemployed for my first 13 months of sobriety. I sent numerous resumes out, but it was not good for employment for many people then.

In terms of sleep, I was like you then. Since I wasn't working, I just went with the flow. I rested my body as best as I could or I'd get up and just piddle around with whatever I could find.

Sleep will come for you, eventually, I'm certain of it!!!
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Old 07-27-2016, 08:02 PM
  # 194 (permalink)  
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Ha Delfin...

Now I read that aerobic fitness can help with the heat intolerance. Does anyone here who is sensitive do anything special? I have forgotten to get gatorade all summer. Just plain forgot. That stuff used to help a little, though I really don't sweat a lot- I just go straight to feeing ill when it is hot. Sometimes I take benadryl to try and sleep (only with some small success) now I read that antihistamines can cause some heat sensitivity or something.
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Old 07-27-2016, 08:04 PM
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I know sugarbear... gotta just keep trucking on. I am, just gets wearing. But yeah, I have read a couple other people at 6, 7 months still not feeling 100 precent.
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Old 07-27-2016, 10:05 PM
  # 196 (permalink)  
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Hi Sleepie,
I have major sleep issues. I take different over the counter sleep aids.
I mix them up because I'm afraid of becoming dependent on them.
I take a few from Whole Foods, you know, thinking they are safer. I don't know if they are really safer though. They have valerian and melatonin among other things.
I also take Benadryl on occasion.
It's really tough. I usually end up getting enough sleep, but that often means waking up quite late in the a.m. I always want to try and fall asleep on my own, so when it doesn't happen, I take something, but it is usually quite late.
I know you are suffering in this hot weather, and I am sorry. Hang in there; Fall is coming soon..
I will be posting even less than before, but I still think about many of the people here on SR, and wish them well including you. Please be kind to yourself Sleepie; you deserve kindness.
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Old 07-28-2016, 02:34 AM
  # 197 (permalink)  
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Hi Croutie. Thanks for stopping by. I take anti-histamine sometimes as well. I read that sometimes they interfere with sweating, and so can cause less tolerance to the heat. Maybe this is part of the heat issue for me. I am familiar with the old routine of trying to sleep on your own, then late at night taking something... then waking very late in the day.

You deserve kindness too. Don't be a stranger for too long?

Well I woke up at 3 again. So maybe 3 hours sleep. I have been taking magnesium every day and one other supplement. I plan to stop taking Benadryl to sleep anymore and see if it improves anything for me as far as the heat.
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Old 07-28-2016, 03:40 AM
  # 198 (permalink)  
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The cold front finally came thru last night. The next few days should feel much better.
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Old 07-28-2016, 03:53 AM
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I see that FBL! I hope that I can acclimate again for next week when it shoots up into the 90's again.
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Old 07-28-2016, 06:55 AM
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Had a short walk to get a coffee... humidity is climbing. It's not even hot but feels hard to breathe. Avoided benadryl last night.
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