What is considered sober?
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Gottalife 
That's a view I hadn't considered mike. Does recovered mean immunity from the phenomenon of craving. He took the drink. Is this drink somehow different from the first drink?
"These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink, thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion"
"These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink, thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion"
My feelings on it - it's entirely up to him. I don't know the guy in question, he's not my sponsor and I don't sponsor him....I don't even go to meetings with him. What he does has no impact on me so I don't have much of an opinion.
I can easily think of times I could ingest alcohol and still consider myself 100% sober. On the flip side, I can VERY easily think of times where I didn't drink but was run by and exhibited more "alcoholism" than a falling-down-drunk. All that is a big part of the reason why I don't post "yay, it's my birthday" threads. 1. My false pride and false ego don't need the stroking and 2. Over those years I see that I'm certainly still sober more out of grace than my willingness or ability to work the AA program.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
Originally Posted by DayTrader
I can easily think of times I could ingest alcohol and still consider myself 100% sober. On the flip side, I can VERY easily think of times where I didn't drink but was run by and exhibited more "alcoholism" than a falling-down-drunk.
Although, when I think back even WAY back, drinking for me was always out of control. It just didn't progress and hit me like a ton of bricks until my mid thirties. Part of getting older? Perhaps. But I haven't been sober since my teens, really. Not until now anyway.
No, I don't think I could ever be cured so to speak. It's just not in my DNA.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Originally Posted by hellrzr
...this is the real issue. Not that you just had a sip or drank for a week. It's why you did it that matters.
I equate this to...................: I burned my hand on the hot stove; I do not need to know why I touched the hot stove to avoid this happening again; I just need to realize that if I don't touch the hot stove, I probable won't burn my hand.
(o:
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Nobody knows they've been cured because they never take the first drink to find out if the phenomenon of craving has been removed as well.
Isn't the whole idea not to drink anymore and be happy with the whole idea? That certainly was my goal. I hit it every day, and in every present moment too.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Originally Posted by NoelleR
I do not necessarily belong to the 'need to know why' school of thought.....
I equate this to...................: I burned my hand on the hot stove; I do not need to know why I touched the hot stove to avoid this happening again; I just need to realize that if I don't touch the hot stove, I probable won't burn my hand.
(o:
I equate this to...................: I burned my hand on the hot stove; I do not need to know why I touched the hot stove to avoid this happening again; I just need to realize that if I don't touch the hot stove, I probable won't burn my hand.
(o:
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by freshstart57
Are we saying that to be cured of alcoholism means we can go back to drinking? I don't understand that at all. It's ok to want to drink and get drunk, daily, why not, what's the harm, as long as we don't experience a craving? I can't see that.
Isn't the whole idea not to drink anymore and be happy with the whole idea? That certainly was my goal. I hit it every day, and in every present moment too.
Isn't the whole idea not to drink anymore and be happy with the whole idea? That certainly was my goal. I hit it every day, and in every present moment too.
It's just the way things are. Alcohol and I don't mix well .
Is it an allergy, am I weak willed or just plain screw up?
I really don't care. I'll cop to all three.
High on Life
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Originally Posted by freshstart57
Isn't the whole idea not to drink anymore and be happy with the whole idea? That certainly was my goal. I hit it every day, and in every present moment too.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
Originally Posted by Live2Run25
I came here specifically to see if I could find something on this subject, and found this thread within minutes, it kind of feels like kismet.
21 days ago I took a sip of alcohol being almost 4 years sober. I chose to be sober because my dad who had barely survived a bender, needed someone and I was drinking too much at the time, so I tagged along on the sober journey (never went to AA or anything). I am struggling badly with how I feel inside about resetting my "sobriety date". I haven't drank anymore in those 21 days, and it's made me realize that I DO NOT want to drink, but those days I built up are very important to me, and starting over seems catastrophic. I do not deem it necessary to list out why I did it, because it doesn't matter now. I put it down after one sip and stopped. Was it a relapse? I don't know, and I don't know why I want someone else to answer that for me. Really what I'm getting from this post, is it is up to ME to decide what I do. This doesn't affect anyone else BUT me.
It was really really hard to come here and write this post, but I feel like I need to get out. It is really strange to me to feel this way, and find this post on the first page that I looked at. It doesn't make sense, but I feel like I am supposed to comment here.
21 days ago I took a sip of alcohol being almost 4 years sober. I chose to be sober because my dad who had barely survived a bender, needed someone and I was drinking too much at the time, so I tagged along on the sober journey (never went to AA or anything). I am struggling badly with how I feel inside about resetting my "sobriety date". I haven't drank anymore in those 21 days, and it's made me realize that I DO NOT want to drink, but those days I built up are very important to me, and starting over seems catastrophic. I do not deem it necessary to list out why I did it, because it doesn't matter now. I put it down after one sip and stopped. Was it a relapse? I don't know, and I don't know why I want someone else to answer that for me. Really what I'm getting from this post, is it is up to ME to decide what I do. This doesn't affect anyone else BUT me.
It was really really hard to come here and write this post, but I feel like I need to get out. It is really strange to me to feel this way, and find this post on the first page that I looked at. It doesn't make sense, but I feel like I am supposed to comment here.
If that happened to me I would set aside the sobriety date issue and focus on how I found myself with a mouthful of alcohol in the first place. I tried to get drunk at 3 months in and I learned my lesson. After that I was sure I never wanted anything to do with alcohol again. The AV still comes at me from time to time anyway. It will probably make another run at you to.
I think listing out why you did it does matter. At the time I drank I felt like I was on automatic pilot. It felt like it came out of nowhere. It took me a few months to be able to retrace how I got there. For me there were early warnings that I was headed for trouble and I didn't understand at the time what was going on. Now that I know how to recognize them I can cut them off before I get into auto pilot mode.
I was really upset that I had to reset my sobriety date on this forum. It doesn't matter to me now but I still go by my original date in my mind when I think about recovery.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: northern california
Posts: 740
one good thing about smart recovery is people do not get so alarmed at a relapse or how long one has been sober.
I use to go to an AA meeting and this man after 9 years sober drank one afternoon and after resetting sobriety date was still beating himself up and always bringing it up in a negative context 5 years later I wanted to scream let it go or hey everyone lets give him his original sober date back so he can have peace.
In my Smart Recovery meeting someone said they have been sober 10 years with one 2 day drinking binge 3 months ago after a death in the family IMO that is more healthy than resetting clock and beating yourself up and standing up at an AA meeting as a newcomer.
I use to go to an AA meeting and this man after 9 years sober drank one afternoon and after resetting sobriety date was still beating himself up and always bringing it up in a negative context 5 years later I wanted to scream let it go or hey everyone lets give him his original sober date back so he can have peace.
In my Smart Recovery meeting someone said they have been sober 10 years with one 2 day drinking binge 3 months ago after a death in the family IMO that is more healthy than resetting clock and beating yourself up and standing up at an AA meeting as a newcomer.
High on Life
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Originally Posted by fred59
one good thing about smart recovery is people do not get so alarmed at a relapse or how long one has been sober.
I use to go to an AA meeting and this man after 9 years sober drank one afternoon and after resetting sobriety date was still beating himself up and always bringing it up in a negative context 5 years later I wanted to scream let it go or hey everyone lets give him his original sober date back so he can have peace.
In my Smart Recovery meeting someone said they have been sober 10 years with one 2 day drinking binge 3 months ago after a death in the family IMO that is more healthy than resetting clock and beating yourself up and standing up at an AA meeting as a newcomer.
I use to go to an AA meeting and this man after 9 years sober drank one afternoon and after resetting sobriety date was still beating himself up and always bringing it up in a negative context 5 years later I wanted to scream let it go or hey everyone lets give him his original sober date back so he can have peace.
In my Smart Recovery meeting someone said they have been sober 10 years with one 2 day drinking binge 3 months ago after a death in the family IMO that is more healthy than resetting clock and beating yourself up and standing up at an AA meeting as a newcomer.
This is kind of what I was talking about earlier with my own experience, when I relapsed after 6 months. I was getting so much animosity and disappointment from my parnter, that I was like I might as well just keep drinking at this point, no sense of stopping now.
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