Berrybean

Now, I know that I can't 'solve' my partners drinking issues. I do. Thing is, I just wondered about people completely forgetting things that happened after just a few drinks. He's always black-out drunk by the end of an evening and can't remember coming home, or where he ended up and stuff. But is seems that he's now completely forgetting whole chunks of time where he's only partly drunk. Like last night for example, he came home after 3 drinks, we had a conversation that lasted about 20 minutes (he was interacting, saying what he thought, adjusting plans etc.) Then later he went out and got more drunk. He says half drunk, but I'd say more than that TBH. Anyway, this morning he's totally and utterly forgotten the conversation. Even when reminded of it, it's not coming back. A lot of the time this would be a cue for him to say I'm making it up. Thing is this was about his stuff, not mine, and there would be no reason for me to do that, so he's not even tried that baby today. He says it can't be alcohol because he'd only had a few. I'm dubious. It's def getting worse. I didn't have this (that I know of) with my own drinking - not regularly anyway. Anyone have any experience of this to share?

Opivotal

Berry, towards the end of my drinking, I could have a few drinks and blackout. I never knew when it would happen.

Quite scary and a big reason, I stopped. I'd hold conversations (apparently) and not remember a single word. Total blank.

ScottFromWI

My tolerance decreased markedly towards the end of my drinking too, there's really nothing good that can come from continuing unfortunately.

JeffreyAK

Oh yes, my memory went to hell when I was drinking heavily, even when I wasn't actively drunk. Part of the brain pickling process, I reckon. I got to the point where I had to write down the password to my computer, I'd forget conversations, I left my ATM card in the machine and walked away like four times, and whole chunks of time became foggy. One of my early milestones, by about 6-8 weeks in, was finally feeling "present" again.

On The Road

I can't help you with the few drinks and forgetting things because I never stopped. I can say that I have chunks of my life completely erased from my memory because of my alcohol consumption. Now that I've stopped drinking, it isn't a problem anymore.

Ariesagain

It isn't "forgetting," it's blacking out and blacking out happens more frequently as alcohol takes over more of our brain cells.

I'm sorry...that's a tough situation. Sending you a hug.

entropy1964

Hey Berry
He had a few, came home, but later went out and got trashed right? So that could cause the complete blackout. And how do you know he only had a few? Or how does he, really?

Vitamin B1 deficiency can really excel memory issues. Prolonged B1 problems and alcoholic dementia, wet brain, better known as Werneke's can ensue.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. What advice would you give someone here?

Jeni26

Hi Beccy. Yes, I was like this, I blacked out with very little alcohol towards the end of my drinking days. Hubby, not so much. He has had blackouts, but not very often. I think it all affects us differently.

Mountainmanbob

Towards the end of my drinking years, just a few drinks started to put me in a black out state of mind. People would tell me things that I had said and I didn't believe them. I finally ended up in big trouble due to my blacking out periods and knew for sure -- drinking is not working. Not if I wish to keep my wife, family, neighbors and the judge happy.

Mountainman

kittycat3

Me too, I have had blackouts that robbed me of memories of the earlier parts of the day / night before I got "really" drunk. And I also had times where just a few drinks could get me completely drunk. I still recall some embarrassing times where I was asked incredulously how I could have been so drunk after just having a few drinks, it was bewildering to normies.

Addiction is an evil thief.

Anna

Yes, me too. I had no idea when it would happen, but it did.

Berrybean

I know he only had a couple because if he'd had three he wouldn't have made it back (he's predictable like that).

I don't think I have any advise. To be honest, after 25 years together I know that nothing I say or do will make the blindest difference anyway. All I can do is deal with my own side of the street.

He's 'trying to cut down' (yeah, the delusion that it the possibility of moderation). He'll get there is he does, and won't if he doesn't. I was just interested in that memory thing, just because it's different to my own experience. I've told him it worries me and I think it's getting worse, and he disagrees, so that's that for now.

Thanks for your insight everyone. I'll try to get more B1 vitamins in the cooking somehow.

ALinNS

Last few binge drinking episodes, couple of drinks and my memory might be 5% (or less) of what went on until I sobered up and that could be a week to three weeks, no memory at all, little tiny but short glimpses of what went on. I believe it's the latter of drinking and life as an alcoholic.

Gottalife

I have a buddy who blacks out after two drinks. He can still drink lots more, and does, but he doesn't remember anything. He says he is not alcoholic.

My memory has always been bad, a result of brain damage. At seven years sober I proposed to my late wife two or three times before I remembered, or so she tells me.

I just broke up with my partner of the last eight years. While packing up her stuff I came across a copy of a romantic email I had sent her when we had jsut met. I know I wrote it, but I cannot remember it at all. It is very frustrating. I even went for altzheimers tests, which I passed.

I don't think it is possible to do what I did to my body and get away scott free. Yet in my drinking days, I hardly blacked out at all.

Soberpotamus

It sounds familiar. I was a binge drinker, and towards the end, I would have 3-4 and forget everything that happened thereafter. It seems that reverse tolerance is real.

thomas11

Could be reverse tolerance. Had a friend who experienced that. It can be reversed, but its not a good sign.

bluedog97

Blackout was a big wake up call for me. Hopefully he'll realize this too.

desertsong

Same here. Toward the end of my drinking career, I was trying to taper down to zero. One night, I'd had less than half of what I would normally consume in an evening. I blacked out and woke up in the morning still drunk. It was very confusing because it was way less than my "usual," and yet it knocked me flat. That was very scary because it had never happened before. But I took it as a bad sign, and quit cold turkey the next day.

I would agree with the reverse tolerance thing. Never a good sign.

BarbieKen

I also blacked out every night. Prior to that, I'd go into the bedroom weaving and I would write down (drunkedly) on a scrap of paper the things that happened that evening, for example:

* Spoke to Ken about blah blah
*. Got into fight blah blah wrote details
*. Ate ice cream, going to bed blah blah

My sick mind would then hide the paper , sometimes found,sometimes not. This was my way of 'remembering' what went on the night before. SO! That when my husband would ask me the next day, "Do you even remember what you said to me last night?" I could answer him because my "Power Points" jogged my alcoholic memory. SIgh ...thank the Universe I don't have to live like that anymore.
Bobbi