stubbs

I believe when the pain and guilt out weigh the comfort of a drink then you will find recovery.I must be one tough SOB.

ScottFromWI

That can be one tipping point, but you can quit whenever you like. You don't have to wait for something really bad to happen.

jimmyc

My personal experience ties in to both posts. I more often than not resort to "self beating" in a more physical sense (as my brain takes care of the mental side of self beating), however you can quit when you like. BUT the latter is a very rare occasion. When we're completely absorbed and oblivious to our actions, drinking doesn't seem so bad - It's only when something bad happens that we get our asses in gear.

Gottalife

Yes alcoholics are tough and not short of will power. When I think of those crippling hangovers, and I still dragged myself to work when most people would be dragging themselves to hospital.

I am not sure about comfort in a drink though. Sure it was there at the start, but it became elusive. I drank in the end, hoping I might find that old comfort, just have a good time, but it was just insanity. I could never hit the spot, always overshot, not only in trouble with the people around me, but also having hallucinations and horrors at night, sweats and all that. There was no comfort, just crippling fear and despair.

Recovery came when I reached the point that I just wanted the misery to stop, and I was willing to do anything to accomplish that. Unconditional surrender.

least

You don't have to wait til the "pain and guilt outweigh the comfort of a drink". You can get sober now and avoid the pain and guilt altogether.

zjw

yeah for me it took panic attacks to tip me over into sobering up. and i think without them i'd' still be drinking. and I do sometimes wonder if i could drink again without them would i go back to drinking and the answer to that question sometimes scares me.

Im not sure if just something "bad" happening would do the trick for me. I thnk i was pretty dedicated. But the panic put the fear of god in me real fast well took me a few months to put 2 and 2 together.

entropy1964

I was just thinking of something similar to this. At just 30 days life has improved immeasurably, as it always does. My daughter will be home early and I was thinking, man, I have nothing to worry about.

I believe I have been in panic/chaos mode since childhood. Its what I'm used to. So if I don't have anything to panic about, I create something. This something usually involves hurting myself with alcohol because then I'll have all kinds of chaos to go through. Ah, normalcy. All this peace? Its unsettling.

Not sure if that makes any sense.

bounced

Cut yourself a little slack, Stubbs.

oldsoul1122

:Now sober I see that wasn't real comfort at all. It was a chemically induced numbness. Real comfort is the serenity and peace of being sober and not all of those negative feelings. Pseudo comfort then the guilt shame...over and over. Beaten over and over. No way to live...I hope you can find some relief.

waynetheking

Stubbs you're right. And yes eventually the pain exceeds the pleasure or you die of alcoholism. The guilt was a moot point for me. I didn't care anymore. It got to the point of being so physically ill and hungover all the time is when god answered my prayers. We all hit bottom at some point. May you find yours now.
hang in there buddy.