Hopelessness
 

Once again I am drunk, after having just short of 2 months sobriety. It's not been as heavy as my past relapses, but i've only been drinking one night so far and had around 10 beers. I feel like I'm losing my mind though, I keep trying and after only a couple of months something comes over me and I give in so easily. I thought I was on the right track this time and rarely thought of alcohol... but when the thought comes up out of the blue it takes me with it. In the last year I've lost more jobs, I was resuscitated in hospital after passing out and choking on my sick and my lung collapsed, I lost my license, been locked up for drunk and disordely also and there is much more.... but I just drink anyway...

I'm really losing hope, I'm runnung out of ideas, I had been attending AA but in the end I still can't seem to stay sober.

I read somewhere if you can't get it on your first few tries then you have little hope. Really any suggestions or advise would be appreciated. Please be hard and tell me the truth, I feel like I need to wake up to reality.

Hey,

I don't think hope is lost if you don't get it on the first few tries. It took my four years and many tries from the time I knew I had a very serious problem to the time I took my last drink.

In my experience, whenever I tried during those four years to stop drinking I had this idea, way shoved in the back of my brain that someday, somewhere, somehow I would drink alcohol again. Not in the scared way, but in the sorta hopeful way.

When I banished this idea and was okay with it, the forced sobriety turned into just being a non-drinker. No way. No how. No alcohol.

I'm pretty new to this, but I'd like to offer my support if I can. Firstly, I admire you for reaching the almost two months mark. A lot of people, including myself, struggle to make it that far. And while relapsing is difficult obstacle to overcome, it sounds as if you have tried repeatedly to do so. That takes courage and endurance - two things you need for long term sobriety.
I understand that you feel hopeless because I often feel the same way, but with commitment and self awareness a lifetime of sobriety can happen. You may look back at your history and see it as evidence that you can't achieve the life you want. But you could also see it as a wealth of experience and knowledge that can point you in the direction you want to go.
Learn from your past and put it behind you.
You deserve to be sober and happy.

You say you had been attending AA. Did you get a sponsor and do the program of AA (the steps)? Attending AA meetings is all well and good, but doing the program is what works for us drunks. If you have not done that, I would not give up hope just yet.

Hi Brach :)

you've probably seen me bang on about plans...if you seem to hit a wall at 2 months (or any time really) I think it's really important to have a plan in place - have options for what you can do - options besides drinking.

It might be looking for support here, or at AA, it might be gettign a sponsor or a different sponsor, it might be about making lifestyle changes to better reflect your determination to be sober.

No one is hopeless. No one :)

There's really no secret to staying sober - in the end you have to be prepared to do more, make more effort to not drink, than drink...

Having a plan and a few options makes the not drinking choice a little easier to implement rather than blind panic as the desire to drink rams you into a metaphorical wall.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

you can do this :)

D

Hey we've all been there.
 

The day after is always the worse. Try to focus on why you want to stop. Put a note in your wallet, or a picture; anything that will help. I found that Smart Recovery on line helped me & I fell off the wagon and only been back 4 days!

Attending AA? Could you enlarge on what that has involved. I couldn't get sober by just attending, I had to join in.

That is so untrue!!!There is not one single way to stop, you have to find your way and sometimes that takes a lot of tries. Never give up on yourself. Period.
Come here and post as often as you want or have to. It's a very caring place and we understand things about drinking that probably no one else in your life does.
Welcome, welcome and thanks for sharing. :hug:
Oh and keep coming back and checking this thread because there are going to be a bunch of people that give you some excellent suggestions.

Going to AA meetings will not keep you sober. Going to AA meetings, getting a sponsor, and working the steps will. Unfortunately if you do half of AA you get zero percent sober

(((Brach123)))

Dont quit! Ever!

And, its not hopeless. Dont ever for one minute believe that, because its the addiction there talking. Keep taking different approaches to your sobriety. Dont lose faith, and hope. I have felt that way myself, so many times. You have just got to pick yourself up, and keep at it. You can win, we all can. Hope you are feeling more positive today.

Truth is, don't sound good.
But, usually it's not good for the true hard core alcoholic.

You didn't mention if you have a sponsor?

We suffer from a spiritual disease.
How you considered going to church?
One on one couseling with a Pastor?

The above helped me to get and stay sober.

Good luck
Bob

Thanks so much for all your replies, it really means a lot to me. I ended getting another 8 cans but haven't had any liquor. I'm still drinking but I hope I'll just pass out soon.

I thought under two months I shouldn't have rushed into getting a sponsor and going through the steps. But I have no idea. Honestly I don't know, I'm hoping to stop drinking later today but at the moment all I want to do is drink.

I'll take the advice of getting a sponsor and working the steps thank you. I'd take anything to be free from this.

Seek with all your heart and mind --sobriety-- and it will be found by you.

I'll tell you guys a truth I feel... That I'm not that bad, because I've managed to stop for a period.... I sometimes feel like i'm a phony in AA and that I need to convince them I'm an alcoholic, but really I think I'm trying to convince my self.

There is always hope Brach. I have relapsed for 12 years. Been sober a lot more than drunk, but I have to keep at this. Stop drinking today. Its a new day.

how do i know if i'm an alcolohic what does it mean?

I can't find an answer

I wish I hadn't spent all my money on beer andd had some whiskey.

Brach,

I'll offer this...

You had 2 months clean.

That is a long time for a drunk to be sober.

Binge 10 beers every 2 months...and 1 day...you are moving forward.

In 2 months, your body and brain have healed significantly.

10 beers is off the wagon only.

Get back on. Make it 2 more months. You are not physically addicted after 10 beers. It has to take longer than that.

Thoughts of drinking never take anyone with them, you make a decision to act on those thoughts or not. ;) You don't hope to stop drinking later in the day, you decide to stop right now. And going to meetings doesn't magically cure us, though it can help a lot, we need to engage and do all the things that will help us through the difficult first few months.

Maybe you think this is going to be a lot easier than it really is? This is something to think about if you're debating if you are or aren't an alcoholic, if not then why can't you just stop and move on with life? If you are, then going through the motions probably isn't going to be enough.

There are lots of alternatives to AA, if you aren't really feeling it's something for you. There are also medical treatment groups that can be very educational, inpatient and outpatient. But whatever you do, you ultimately need to want to stop drinking more than you want to drink, and one way to help motivate you is to make a list of all those negative consequences and keep it posted somewhere in plain sight. Things will get worse and worse if you keep drinking, they always do.