Alcohol and Domestic Abuse
 

I was just wondering what role alcohol may have played in your relationships. Mine has been very negative. Another reason not to drink!

Marissa, I cannot speak personally to your post.

I can tell you that no one should be jeopardized by domestic abuse. Here is more information for you. Please take good care.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 24/7 Confidential Support

I let people treat me very, very poorly. Partially because I felt I deserved it, because in my mind I was a terrible person with this terrible problem. Partially because I would use the alcohol to numb me out just enough that I could stand it. And finally partially because drinking put me in such a state of dumb inertia that I couldn't sort out how to get out of these situations once I was in them.

I think I will protect myself better in the future. I hope you are taking care of yourself.

Alcohol kept me in relationships I would not have stayed in if I were sober. Now I'm sober and I'll be damn sure whoever I let into my life is worthy.

I don't even mean to suggest I was with abusive or bad people. Drinking chipped away at my self esteem and I used relationships as a salve to avoid my own problems.
Sometimes alcohol did cause me to put myself at risk with unsafe people.

Now that I know better, I'll do better :)

I just realized the thread title is domestic abuse. I hope you are ok Marisa.

There are a lot of helpful links here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...out-abuse.html

D

I'm ok.. Thank you for your input. I just thought this might need to be addressed. Because when we drink our self esteem suffers and if there is an abusive other it can be devastating. Some of us have been there!

It could be major or it could just be minor. Sometimes we don't even realize we are being belittled. Sometimes we just get used to it and don't recognize it. Sometimes it takes a major event, other times not. But it is there. I've seen my friends be abused right in front of me and not had the courage to stand up for them. I was younger then. If I were to see it now I'd probably go to jail.

Thank you fantail.. That's the honest conversation I'm looking for.

And kittycat3.. Thank you.
I'll share too. I've been married almost 25 years to another alcoholic. I don't fear for my life, but there has been verbal abuse. This does chip away at your self esteem. It shouldn't be that way. But sometimes we get stuck.

I was married to a problem drinker too - not sure if he was alcoholic or not, and I'm glad to say we are no longer together so I am no longer exposed to his alcohol abuse.

However being in that relationship taught me how i can only control myself. I tried a lot of things to get him to stop or cut back, nothing worked. All I could do was manage my own "stuff."

I hope you can find some peace and the right path forward for yourself.