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leviathan 05-15-2016 09:42 PM

Gratitude
 
So, the youngest daughter graduated with her bachelor's (with honors!) Saturday. The ceremony was great but quite lengthy, so I was prone to a little mind-wandering.

If she would have graduated a couple years ago, I would have been hung-over for it. I would have tried to keep it within reason, but it IS saturday after all. Let's not try to fool anybody...

I would have got up late (or ridiculously early with my panic) and started my medicinal routine while simultaneously getting dressed and making my wife nervous too. -As much orange or tomato juice as I could stomach, maybe some pepto or tums,eye-drops, ibuprofen (or vicodin!) about 15 cigarettes and most likely a solid dose of ativan right before leaving.

Once at the arena (of my alma mater), I would be careful to avoid everyone I knew as much as possible, just getting by talking and fake smiling to whoever I absolutely had to.

I would have played a good game, as I was an academy-grade actor in those days. -even with my sweaty palms and breath mints. -but I would have been dying to get to the reception dinner where I could celebrate (read:get right) with everyone.

Instead if that routine, I helped the wife's older father navigate around and interpreted for him when he couldn't hear folks. I was present 100% for my daughter and wife. I truly felt all of my feelings (a mixed bag) and was at peace with the whole deal.

After all was done I slept well with no lingering thoughts of having said stupid crap out of anxiety and inebriation.

When I was daydreaming during the ceremony I thought about how we seem to often speak of "white-knuckling" in sobriety. -It's kinda funny though, "white knuckling" was exactly how I felt much of the time during my drinking days...

I'm grateful. So very grateful. This is one milestone and proud father moment that is untainted. Another gift in a series of many.

Dee74 05-15-2016 09:55 PM

Congratulations to your daughter - and to you Lev :)

D

leviathan 05-16-2016 08:11 AM

Thanx, D.!

thomas11 05-16-2016 08:22 AM

That's great to hear. And oh so familiar.

SoberCAH 05-16-2016 08:47 AM

Very nice story.

You were able to be there in the moment for yourself and for everyone who needs you.

Gratitude is truly the word for this blessing.

Delfin 05-16-2016 07:26 PM

What a great post, Leviathan! Congrats to your daughter, and to you on a great day reaping the benefits of sobriety.

Delfin

Soberwolf 05-17-2016 10:42 PM

Big big congrats Leviathan my neice is taking her final uni exam this morning waiting for her to call for some revision before she goes in

Congratulations

D122y 05-18-2016 12:26 AM

Congrats!

Dealing w life sober has a whole new set of issues that seem to revolve around others more than ourselves.

Being a drunk is a pretty selfish act.

Knowing that is another tool in our sober chest.


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