BlackoutFear

Hi!
First, thank you for all your support, after reading a lot of things here i have another view about alcohol, and i love being sober, i feel much more happy, and my fear in blackingout again makes me stay away from booze.
But i have OCD and sometimes i doubt myself and my sobriety, ex: i ask myself if my aftershave will brake my sobriety.
Today i went to my friend's house, and his mother is a very "spiritual" person, she gave me a flower remedie wich i take but didn't swallow because i feel an alcoholic taste on it. But yes, i started to feel paranoid after that because i went to a social event and i'm now afraid that this flower remedie broke my sobriety and made me blackout(i have no evidence that i had a blackout, but my mind always play tricks on me).
Is it possible that a flower remedie broke my sobriety even if i throw it out from my mouth 1 minute later?

fantail

I don't think you could have absorbed enough alcohol in a minute to affect you at all. I still use Listerine mouth wash from time to time, which has alcohol in it. I've never felt any different or gotten any cravings from it.

In the end it's up to you. You ultimately decide what falls under sober behavior or not (within reason of course!). Some people would never use Listerine, but for me I don't consider it to be taking alcohol since I don't ingest it. But I really don't think that an accidental mouthful of remedy would give you a blackout, even if you're very prone to them.

Dee74

I think intent is everything.You had no intention of drinking alcohol and you didn't swallow the stuff.

I know you're scared but there's virtually no chance you blacked out today -certainly not from swishing something around in your mouth.

D

BlackoutFear

I'm glad to hear that!
Another question if i can, is it normal to have a drinking dream almost every day?
It will go away?
In last year my hands started to shaking a little, i didn't care about it... but after 2 weeks sober my hands stopped shaking is this a withdrawl symptom? Except psychological craving i didn't have any other symptom like delirium tremens etc...

PS: Sorry for my english.

fantail

Shaky hands are definitely linked to alcohol. Mine were always a little shaky, even before I drank, but they got really bad with alcohol. That went away when I quit too (mostly... I still wouldn't try to be a surgeon!).

Don't worry about the drinking dreams. I had a lot of them at first too. I actually took them as a good sign... it meant my brain was really focused on how much I didn't want to drink. I still get them maybe once every two weeks or so (I'm 10 months sober). when I wake up I'm just that much more grateful.

Congratulations on your sober time!!

SoberCAH

Blackout -

I was just like you - paranoid about everything, especially substances with alcohol, like aftershave.

You have a healthy fear.

Even today, when I am using aftershave, I keep my lips shut tightly and I wash or dry may hands immediately.

I can't tell you when your drinking dreams will end or whether they will, but you always wake up and you're clean and sober.

Keep us posted with your progress and travails.

They're all part of sobriety.

For me, I have also relied on AA and God for help, and I haven't had a drink since I asked for help.

You don't have to have any relapses.

AdelineRose

I wouldn't consider taking a flower remedy even if you had swallowed it breaking your sobriety. You didn't know it had alcohol, your intent in drinking the flower remedy was not to drink alcohol, and then to top it off you recognized that maybe you did not want to swallow it so you spit it out.

I think you have acted responsible and that this was an innocent mishap where alcohol might have gotten into your mouth but that you didn't even swallow. It is great that you are taking your sobriety so seriously, but I think you are a little paranoid with if using aftershave can threaten your sobriety (now chugging aftershave or mouth wash that is a different story). In the end it is your sobriety and if you feel better not using aftershave then that is a personal choice you can make, but you are doing great so far!

Have you thought about going to some counseling sessions to talk about your fears and concerns? Counseling has always helped me tremendously in my life, especially now that I am sober and truly engaged.

here4theflowers

First, so many congrats on two months sober!
I just wanted to say that in many ways, I can relate to racing OCD thoughts and worries, in a different but yet so similar way.
I wanted to post that just offer support and encouragement in your journey, so you don't feel so alone. OCD can be so gripping, it's hard to keep it managed.
I wish you peace and success on your continued journey.