Rubbing Alcohol
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Streamwood, IL
Posts: 101
Rubbing Alcohol
Anybody ever gone to this extreme? My diseaseased a$$ did about a week ago. It has made me realize how truly sick and far gone I am. I simply can't stop. In the past 2 months I have had to detox three times. Somehow by the grace of god I am not only alive but okay. I am even medically cleared to leave the hospital but again thanks to the wonderful staff here they ain't letting me go anywhere until I can get into the inpatient program run through the hospital itself. I hope to be in it by today or tomorrow and start my new journey. This disease is sick and twisted. I have a masters degree in English, a wife, and three healthy beautiful kids yet I tried to subconsciously kill myself. Why? There are so many that have it so much worse. As I pray for all of you that I only know as names on the internet I ask that you keep me in yours. I want to beat this and I desperately want to live. There is life and beauty out there and at 38 I am too damn young to die of organ failure. My god what a monster. Be strong everyone and be smart and be safe and most of all ask for help in times of weakness. Lord knows I never have. Bless all of you.
TF
TF
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
I know many desperate alcohol addicts try rubbing alcohol in the hopes of getting a fix, glad you're alive since it's poisonous to humans. 
You can beat this, and I'm sure you'll learn a lot about the monster in inpatient treatment.
You can beat this, and I'm sure you'll learn a lot about the monster in inpatient treatment.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 41
I'm proud of you for recognizing that you have a monster inside you and that you are not that monster. I'm in a somewhat similar situation. I'm 40 years, a wife, and a son. I don't want to lose that, but I've been trying to kill myself with alcohol. Today is day one for me. So, I be joining you on this journey. We have a lot to learn, but I know We can do this.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
hang in there and keep trying. your right 38 is too young to be dieing of this kinda nonsense. Thats how i felt when i quit was like ugg i'm too young to be dieing of such a stupid thing etc.. It angred me too because i wanted myu cake and to be able to eat it too but it doesnt work that way. I had to accept that and that helped make it easier to quit.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
TF, this story/poem was on one of my favorite podcasts the other day about attempted suicide: The Exit Interview - Jamie Dewolf | Snap Judgment
Like you I didn't really intend to kill myself, but the result was almost that. It's a good listen, about 8 minutes.
Good luck with treatment, you can beat this.
Like you I didn't really intend to kill myself, but the result was almost that. It's a good listen, about 8 minutes.
Good luck with treatment, you can beat this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
I totally relate! I have a Masters degree, HAD a great career, a condo...all the trimmings. Guess what, it was all frosting on top of a huge pile of sh1t! Once I got into recovery I learned to see the sh1t that was my diseased thinking...and clear that out and rebuild! You can too. I never drank rubbing alcohol but I sure would have if I had no other option. I drank mouthwash at the very end...and vanilla extract. I did the spin dry cycle a few times before I admitted to myself that I needed long term treatment in order to not die from this disease. At the end I was 32 years old, a polished little preppy girl with a Masters degree, vomiting bile and blood all over my expensive carpets and bleeding out on my couch. I knew if I didn't do everything within my power to stop this disease I'd make a pretty, young corpse...and it wouldn't be long either.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 309
I'm pleased you are here and seeking help. Whatever you have gone through in previous treatments, this is a new experience for you and with each time, you've learned something new, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
One of my darkest moments was drinking mouthwash. That was bleak, but whether it's rubbing alcohol or a conversation or anything, as long as it motivates you to get help, things will be okay.
I wish you the very best.
One of my darkest moments was drinking mouthwash. That was bleak, but whether it's rubbing alcohol or a conversation or anything, as long as it motivates you to get help, things will be okay.
I wish you the very best.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
I have not drank rubbing alcohol in my search for a drunk YET. Emphasis on that last word because I know that it's just a matter of time before I do such things if I go back to drinking.
Glad you're getting the help you need, TrapezeFreak. And I hope you'll continue to use SR as a tool in your recovery plan in the future. You're in my thoughts and prayers today...
Glad you're getting the help you need, TrapezeFreak. And I hope you'll continue to use SR as a tool in your recovery plan in the future. You're in my thoughts and prayers today...
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