I've lost everything this past week
 

I lost my job for coming in drunk the 3rd time. The 2nd time the head boss offered me help by talking about a company program, I should of taken it. I've tried everything before, I tried going cold turkey, I could barely make it 4 days. I did alot of bad things when drunk, the next day due to withdrawal symptoms I felt over emotional and would apologize, but it wasn't really me apologizing sober. I tried buying smaller bottles, this worked well for a while, but I couldn't resist the bigger bottles. A few other coworkers would go in drunk as well, but not nearly as drunk as I was. It was like a game to us.

I also crashed my car wheel into a curb and broke it, I had just finally paid it off. Thankfully the cop that arrived on the scene was very nice, I could of very well died or been rear ended by the car behind me. Not to mention there was a beer in the cup holder. Had I not quickly gone in and threw it under the seat I could of been in big trouble. Don't know what I was thinking, i've always been so careful not to let it get that bad. I don't know how the cop couldn't tell how wasted I was.

So now I have no car and no job. On the bright side I have no bills, but i'm 25. I'll be 26 in 7 months, and I still live here with my mom, I was planning on moving out and getting my own place. I've been job hunting constantly. I miss my old coworkers alot. Living here with my mom is not idea, as she had always hated drinking. She doesn't understand how hard quitting cold turkey can be. She's constantly berating me, every minute of the day.

And on top of that this girl who I really liked who I lost touch with contacted me asking me out next week. I'm really worried since I have no car and no job and I know I would be a bad prospect for her. But I could really use a friend right now. Everyday is just straight misery, I lay on the ground thinking about how life use to be, nothing at all is making me happy. I'm very dissapointed with myself. And i'm worried I won't find another job again.

It will get even worse if you keep going. :) How about a support group like AA?

I'm sorry everything is coming to a head. You can't go back and change things, but you can use this as an experience to remind yourself what drinking has already made you lose and think about what else you might lose in the future if you continue on this path.

Have you thought about going to a substance abuse counselor? It might also be beneficial to tell your primary doctor about what is going on and what kind of recommendations he can make, If you don't feel you are able to quit at home, maybe try checking out some inpatient rehabs or even intensive out patient.

No one ever thinks that it is going to get as bad as it does end up getting. We aren't able to just stop when it is time to stop so there is no way you would have ever been able to keep this under control..it was just a matter of time.

Making a recovery plan, reaching out to others -building a support group you can trust, counseling, getting new hobbies, eating healthier and taking vitamins, and basically anything else you think you need in order to get and stay sober

Well YoungHyde, I can't help thinking this is GOOD news, if you are an alcoholic of my type. At least some of the people who care about you, your boss in particular, have given you a great wake up call.

I was in the same position as you. Having tried everything from rehab, therapy, AA (rejected that quick) I continued down hill until all was lost. That included job, family, friends, money, and health. I came back to AA with malnutrition and a head full of scrambled eggs at the ripe old age of 22, with a medical opinion that I would not lve another six months.

Where is the GOOD news in that. It turned out these were the perfect circumstances for me to recover. I joined AA, a group of people (of all ages) who had recovered, and they showed me how. One big plus I had and will be for ever grateful for, one that you have too, is that my parents were willing to take me in this one last time. Having a safe home environment is a very valuable thing. When you've been on SR are while you will see how many people have to really struggle with their home environment.

The way ahead is as simple for you as it was for me. Call AA, ask someone to come over and explain it all, then get them to take you to a meeting, and thereafter, just follow suggestions.

All the best

It's great to meet you, YoungHyde.

I'm sorry for all that you've been through - but if it results in getting sober, it's worth it. Sometimes we need to be convinced that bad things happen when it gets in our system. At 26 I was still too stubborn to admit I couldn't control the amounts I drank. I went on to put myself in danger many times over the years. I'm glad you're getting on the right track now. You can do it - you'll be saving yourself so much misery.

Very hard to quit on our own. As others have suggested, simply reach out to AA and get support. Trust me, you haven't lost everything, haha. It could be so much worse. You didn't get a DUI. You didn't hurt or kill someone. You have a roof over your head. Those are the places this disease takes us. Don't let it get worse, just go to a meeting and get some support.

I swore I wouldn't drink on most mornings for about a decade and ended up drunk right after work. I tried all sorts of things but nothing worked.

AA is the only program thats worked for me. I also practice a little bit of Rational Recovery along with AA.

I dreaded involving others in my program, hated talking about God, on and on, but the fellowship has saved me time and again. I love going to meetings and hanging out with my fellow AA'ers.

Its transformed my life and it hasn't been hard.

Best of luck.

CJ.

In one possible version of your future you could be telling people "...so, there was my wakeup call. I chose to quit and turn it all around. Here I am, proud of myself now!"
-that's totally an option for you. Keep reaching out. Nip this in the bud.

I can identify so much....living with my Mom, losing a job b/c of drinking, trying to buy smaller amounts, laying around thinking about how life sucks with no hope, and a car accident I should have gotten a DUI or hurt someone. I'm now 9 months sober, and think of those times when I have any sort of inkling I can drink again, and how much better life is now. I t can get so much better for you. It will be tough (it took me a few tries) but taking that first step, whatever it will be for you AA, rehab, etc, is the important thing. Reading where you are at. I can tell you it gets better!!

Some great advice here already YoungHyde so I'll just say - welcome - I'm glad you found us :)

D

Maybe you could begin with willingness
to finally become honest about your sickness,
disease, addiction and do the next best thing
in seeking help from others.

Did you have a good relationship with
your boss or manager at your work?

If you did you could call him or her and
share honestly about your addiction and
need their help and that you have no one
else to turn to and honestly apologize about
not accepting his/her help when first offered.

If he sees how much help you need and
that you cant get sober or clean on your
own and that with his help you would do
what ever you need to do to get the help
needed to get sober and begin building a
strong, solid recovery foundation to live
upon for yrs to come.

Addiction kills soooo many as you read
and hear in the news and it happens soooo
quickly. Explain to him or her how sorry
you are for showing up to work drunk
and that you are ready to learn all that
you can about addiction and it affects
on your own body and receive the proper
tools and knowledge to begin your recovery
life.

If you are ready to admit you have an
addiction problem and ready to accept
help if your boss is still willing to help
you get it then you would be grateful
for it.

When we reach our lowest of low and
have no where else to go or no one else
to turn to then we do whatever we need
to do to take the hand that reaches out
to us with acceptance and willingness.

Humbly ask for what you need.

Sober, sobriety, recovery, a healthier
life without poison that is killing so many
each and everyday.

Drunks if you are a drunk ?
Often end up in your place.

I saw more that one drunk who worked for the City with good jobs get fired after turning down treatment and then running a muck.

A lot of these ones had many years on the job. There truly was nothing left out there for them to do after being fired.

Be grateful for you are young and can start over.

Mountainman

Welcome to SR, YoungHyde25. Sounds like you belong here. Good news is sobriety is a much better way of life and you can start achieving that life today. Lot of great advice here already--hope you'll take some of it. All of us have been where you are today, we know of what we speak.

Well I'm currently on Zoloft which was prescribed to me and my mother got me into a program to talk with someone. I should have taken the help from the boss when I got a chance but I was afraid I would appear weak and helpless. I had a huge crush on a girl from work who always comes in drunk, not as drunk as I did, but everyone knew certain coworkers drank before work, no one really cared unless they were flat out wasted like I was. I used to buy her little mini bottles and she would drink them in the bathroom. I guess I wanted to exist in the same world as she did.

It's a lot more important to work on yourself first. The good news is that you are still young and still have a chance to turn things around. What program did your mother get you into - is it something you are still participating in?

Don't miss opportunities to get help like you did with your old boss - you still have a chance to make things right now.

The Zoloft can help with depression, but it won't help if you're still drinking. I hope this can be your wake up call and that you get sober for good before something even worse happens.

Update: Well for the past week I have been sending applications everywhere, I filled out everything, I think I applied at like 60 places, I can't think of place I have not applied to. Just hoping to get my life back on track after all of this. And someone finally called this morning and now I have an interview this monday.

I'm a bit nervous about what to tell them about leaving my last job. I was worried I was never going to get another interview/job again due to bad karma or something.

Just tell them you are looking for new opportunities. Congrats on the interview, proof that "bad karma" is not really a factor.

Have you done anything to address your alcohol issues?

Best wishes YH :)

D

Well since I don't have a car there's no way for me to get to the liqour store. I've been about 5 days sober and it feels pretty good to be in control of my life. I think the alcohol issue was stemming from other mental issues I had, I was looking up borderline personality disorder, it seems to fit me pretty well.

I also think my old job itself sort of contributed to it. Like how certain servers got to come in drunk. I just feel like at my old job everyone saw me as a drunk. When I 1st started there I went to this party and got very wasted and made a fool of myself in front of this coworker I liked and ever since then I would go into work drunk to hide from the shame. But now I feel like I can become a new person and make better choices. I just hope I can keep it this way.