Ryanlanane

Well, up until 18 months ago - I considered myself an addict - not an alcoholic.


Sure, i drank A LOT when I drank, but I could drink two time a week and be OK. Drugs were my problem. Im 37 now BTW

So, alll of a sudden - I started caring less and less about drugs. Alcohol made me ... well .. "Me"

I always isolted on drugs so doing the same on alcohol was nothing new. Except, I got laid a bit more often - a bit more easily, but only when I wanted to. And women that wanted to talk to me in the next 2-3 weeks ... ? Were the stalking me ? Jesus, give me 3 months till you call me.

I'm beyond self involved. Even when on Crack and heroin. I wake up going "Ouch I have a hangover, I didn't have those before" ... Of course theyre easily shaken off. SOMETIMES with hair of the dog. Most the time 3 hours later, or up to 12 hours later.

Thing is I used to drink sure, but now ? Its not drinking. Its become a part of me. That was never me until 2 years ago. Drugs were that part of me. Now, its alcohol. Never thought it would be ...

I hate local AA Meetings. Detox ? Sure 3 times ... And to be honest, Who cares about my bottom. Ive lost it all AND more. Going from millionaire to living on SSI - but what does it matter, I can feel "normal" for 6 hours a night if I drink the right IPA - budweiser takes a case. The good IPA beers, 8-12 at the most. God bless them.

Do I have a point ? No ... Just wanted to talk to someone with no pity. I know there are others like me. If u r one, PM me please.

Rehab does what for good ? **** ... Any real alcoholic or addict knows that ...

Dee74

It';s nbever too late for change Ryan. I never felt normal unless I was drinking either...but I perservered with not drinking and gradulaly not drinking became the norm.

I vastly prefer myself and my life as a non drinker. I reckon you will too.

There's a ton of support and encouragement here - all from people who have been there. This place is all about peer support

D

Time2Rise

You've posted here Ryan, so that suggests on some level you have a desire to get sober. If you want to get sober, you don't' have to use AA or rehab. Although, you may prefer those options and there's nothing wrong with using them.

Whatever your situation, sobriety is always an option.

Soberwolf

Welcome Ryan having a plan will help a lot

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

Gottalife

AA might come in handy when you want to stop. When you are ready I am sure we will welcome you.

sammysmith

First of all well done for having the balls to recognise you have a problem. Secondly, never give up hope for yourself. Rock bottom is rock bottom. You've been there. But now you have the chance to ribuild as rock bottom is the lowest you can go. Luck CAN improve. Make it happen. Carpe Diem (seize the day)...

Introspectator

Glad you posted, thanks for being honest. Sounds like you want what we all want...to feel "normal." That's hard to define really, but to be able to feel, cope, function while sober sounds like a good start. It takes work AFTER putting the bottle down, but it is so worth it. I've been sober since November, and I can hear the birds singing again!!

Introspectator