behindblueyes

I functioned way better hungover. I was in a nonstop daze in a mindless job (Id rather not post here what I do but I am on the road all day) that requires no brain power.

Just this week, I have been an idiot. I have been sober a month, and today I just missed a turn to an office I go to every day. I ended up in a fast food parking lot next to where I was supposed to be. People in the office next door where I work wondered what I was doing going in a 10-point turn to get out of a tiny lot full of cars.

People at work have been asking if I am ok, why I am messing up so bad and making small mistakes all the sudden.

I left an extremely important check for anyone to take right out on my desk.

I locked the keys in one of our vehicles at work and they had to call and pay for a locksmith last Friday.

The worst is, I went to WalMart and left an entire bag of groceries last week. Then today, I just got home and realized I left another small item at another store right on the counter where she was bagging. It's maddening. Does it ever end? I studder, have no personality, and no sense of humor anymore either.

Just venting. I had an MRI 6 months ago and it was considered "stable". I want my brain back. Please tell me I haven't gone insane.

thomas11

Do you find yourself thinking about drinking? Not necessarily wanting to drink, just the topic of drinking in general?

suki44883

You haven't gone insane and what you are experiencing is quite normal. My brain didn't fire on all cylinders for about 6 months after I quit drinking. We did a lot of damage to our brains while we spent years drinking and it's only natural that it is going to take more than a few months to get it back to normal. It will happen, but it will take time. You will be okay.

alcoholics wife

I read great things about omega fish oils.

How's your diet and sleep?

sleepie

Heh... you just described an average day for me.
But, I am being evaluated for LD.

Have you considered PTSD playing a part in this? I understand it can affect this kind of thing. Weren't you pretty traumatized rather recently?

gaffo

Cultivate a sense of humor about it for now, it will go away.

least

That's normal in early recovery. Give yourself time, good food and rest, and moderate exercise, you will get better.

Outonthetiles

You're trying to do four things at once. Slow down about 30 percent and everything will fall in place. It sounds like you're still operating on auto pilot, like a lot of us did during the "bad time."

Delizadee

I always have this problem sober I have yet to get past it in recovery.
Often times I believe people think I'm drunk when I'm not because of these speech, memory and clumsiness problems.
Even weeks into it I was losing memory of hours and days in a fog and forgetting words etc to a horrible degree.

I think like Oott said we need to slow down and let ourselves have the time to recover properly. And be kind to ourselves. I think if 3,6, 12 months down the road you are still worried, a Dr's appointment may be in order to check things out and help ease your worries.

grizzlybearblue

Totally normal! I went through exactly what you are describing. It is annoying, but it can also be funny. I was very dingy for awhile early on, and then at six months it came back, and for a few days, I had a hard time stringing a complete sentence together. I'm a little over seven months now, and there is still about an hour out of everyday that I just cannot think. I try really hard, but not much is going on up there. It passes! It does get better, I promise : )

zjw

i do a lot of stuff like your describing too. i get laughed at by people who know me well but all i can do is laugh at myself anymore. I'm finding there are more like me then i realize too. Today was like that for me too very foggy headed i had to take a test first thing this morning every question read "blah blah blah blah" to me ya know those moments when you read something and its like the letters just collpse to the bottom of th epage and it says nothing and your like huh? if you can even think out a huh.

I made a comment to someone i work with that i'm having a hard time remember things from one year to the next cause i dont work on stuff much he says i cant remember things from one hour to the next dont feel bad that made me feel better.

I've been more absent minded since i got sober myself too. I dont have the focus i once had tho I sometimes wonder if i ever really had it at all?

In the end tho it is what it is and I just quit beating myself up over it and just accept it.

I hope in your case it improves I'd imagine it will to some degree. In the end I had to be accepting i'm not perfect and i'm gonna do some dumb stuff sometimes.

Good job on the month sober!!

zjw

Oh i even opened some code i did a week ago today (i'm a programmer) and i looked at it and realized oh god i did this all wrong what was i thinking so i spent all this time rewriteing it today what a friggen waste. And i have to wonder a week from now will i open it again and go wtf was I thinking and change it all back? stranger things have happened.

This is why i worry about keeping my employment to but what can i do it is what it is.

Mountainmanbob

I remember returning to work once after a terrible long bender. Even though now sober I felt like I was in the twilight zone for months. Hang in there sober and all will straighten out in time.

Staying sober heals (most) all.

Mountainmanbob

behindblueyes

Thanks. Yes I have ptsd and the word- searching is an issue also. I find substituting words helps a lot. Happy to hear this is normal. I'm having a brain freeze even now or I'd write more.

sugarbear1

So normal for me. I often joke by saying something silly like, "give me a beer and I'll remember!"

I thought I drank and it didn't effect me much, I guess I was just fooling myself!

Hawkeye13

Yep--tough for the first months, but then you may find you are much sharper
than before drinking became an issue for you.

I sure have--didn't like those "fuzzy-headed months" but now I'm much
more mentally keen compared to my drinking years.
I also never have to have a hangover again, which is so worth it. . .

Hang in there BBE

Dropsie

BBE,

Be kind to yourself -- it will get better.

behindblueyes

I had rituals like going to certain places at certain times but I do not crave alcohol at all. It was a place to escape reality. My diet is great and I am running a lot. I just miss socializing and am entirely alone in a big house.