In the house
 

At my meeting tonight, dignitaries, I revealed that I have an adult child that drinks at home, and how I was tempted the other day when he was drinking my favorite beer. I got through it and didn't act on my desire. A few guys are of the opinion that no drinking should be allowed in the my house. I'm sure the reason is for self protection and I should be respected in the home regarding my addiction. Do you have this rule in your home? Just interested in everyone's view on this.

Introspectator

I don't know...while it would be nice if family members in the home didn't bring in alcohol, I don't think having alcohol there would cause someone to relapse. Granted, it might make it harder for the recovering alcoholic, but alcohol is everywhere. In my opinion, the dedication and commitment of the recovering alcoholic is what will determine whether or not they relapse. JMHO.

My house is dry. I get bombarded with alcohol messages in the outside world. When I'm home this is my safe place where alcohol is a non issue because it isn't there

I think it is a personal choice. There is always alcohol in my house, as my husband drinks. I wasn't going to ask him to remove it and not drink at home just because I made a decision to quit. However, adult kids are a different story. In most cases they aren't helping pay the mortgage. It is your house, your rules. Do what you think. is best, no right or wrong answer here.

Yeah I have this rule in my house - no booze, no drugs.

If I can't make the rules in my house, where can I?

D

Having booze around doesn't bother me... when my alcoholism is "on", I will find any booze in the house and drink it no matter what the consequences. But when it's "off", it becomes inert and doesn't pull me. In my history of relapsing, the switch has never been flipped by the presence of alcohol, I'm more at risk from emotional factors. So in my case I feel fairly safe with it around. But it's also never been a consideration because I live with roommates; I'm not in a situation where it would make sense for me to make a request like that.

I do agree with the others that in your case, since you're the one providing your adult child with a place to live, it would certainly be reasonable to ask for a dry home.

i think you've got to be pretty strong in your sobriety and this doesn't necessarily mean length of sobriety to feel OK about having alcohol around.

I live alone so it is not a problem but really couldn't give a rat's if there is alcohol around. It becomes unimportant. Like, so what?

I also have a dry home, and it's never been a problem. People who come by for dinner know my wife and I don't drink, if not always why, and don't bring alcohol. My stepdaughter and stepson drink, sometimes a lot, but they don't live with us and they know the whole story and why they can't drink when they are staying with us. Same with drugs, I don't want the stuff in my home.

Thanks for the replies. I get it. I would like a "safe zone." It's being fair and honest with myself. Now I need to proceed in a kind and gentle manner. My drinking career methods were all offensive and heavy handed. I am thinking that I simply be open and honest and ask my family to help protect me in this way. My 24 year old son is a heavy drinker, I sure hope he quits. I am thinking though that I need to give my wife the freedom and respect to have that "glass of wine" with my 31 year old daughter, at the end of the day when the grandson goes to sleep. My wife and daughter don't drink consistently, and I feel no need to address this. Heck, I friggin hate wine anyway! I'm not at risk for drinking that swill...lol

Introspectator

When my young adults come home for special occasions, if they wanted to have a drink in my home they can, thing is out of respect they do not any other situation my home is dry.

Andrew

Dry. Family and friends know why and respect it. I can tolerate others drinking outside my house (seemingly everywhere!) but I don't have to inside. Probably wouldn't cause me to pick up again but why risk it? (this is a non smoking house too! I quit smoking many years ago. Now smoke makes me gag.)

No alcohol in my house.
It's my safe zone, too.

I live alone and don't keep alcohol in my house. However, when my sister visits she keeps beer in my fridge and that doesn't bother me at all. I no longer have the desire to drink, no matter what. :)

My AH is going to rehab tomorrow. When he gets out of rehab, do you think it's beneficial that I remove all my wine from the house? I wouldn't want him coming out still very vulnerable. His drink of choice isn't wine, but I do have my good wine in the house that I save for myself and special occasions.

Absolutely, if you want to maximize his chances of staying sober. :) Lots and lots and lots of people relapse almost immediately after leaving inpatient treatment. Alcohol is alcohol, to someone intent on drinking - no one's drink of choice is mouthwash or hand sanitizer, for example, but people do drink it to get drunk.

If you were on a starvation diet would you want your husband to have your favorite extremely unhealthy treats around? Multiple that concept by 100 and that is what it would be like for your husband

I am always trying to be on a healthy diet but my husband buys treats. If there are treats in the house, I will eat them all before my husband even gets a chance to open them up to try it.

My safe zone extends no farther than it needs to, and that is the outline of my head. I am ok with alcohol in my house and seeing it being consumed, as my sobriety doesn't require that it be out of reach of my hand.

I think if I saw alcohol as a treat now, I would be in trouble. I am beginning to see the same issue with hi GI foods too. If it is a treat, then I will treat myself. On the other hand, if I see it as a choice between two outcomes, and one is towards my goal and the other is against it, the rational choice becomes very simple.

We do have some beer in the frig, as my husband likes to have half a beer on some evenings. Wine was my drink, and I rarely even notice or think about the beer.

We don't entertain a lot, but if we're having family or friends over, I will ask my husband to buy wine and serve it. If there's any left at the end of the party, I send it home with guests or dump it down the drain.

My bottom line is "don't drink no matter what". That being said, I don't enjoy being around heavy drinking so I wouldn't tolerate that in my home. And I wouldn't hesitate to make my home alcohol-free if that's what it took for me to stay comfortably sober.

My spouse and I always liked drinking together. He can limit his consumption to two or three beers, but he likes them every day (or close).

I am still in very early sobriety and while I don't want his beer, I do find that the talkativeness and first rush of euphoria he gets when drinking are triggering. I *know* why he suddenly feels like talking and I have to disengage or even just walk away. It sort of sucks but I know every one is on their own journey with this stuff. I was sooooooo over the top crazy drunk in the evenings so I certainly can't say a word about his addiction - he's quieter.

It's still hard though. I wish my home felt safe right now. If I had the say, I'd request for there not to be any alcohol here.