New to SR but Sober for most 6 yrs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 12
New to SR but Sober for most 6 yrs
Good day all,
So as my title suggests, I'm new around here but am not very new to sobriety. I stopped drinking in 2010. Although I'm extremely blessed and thankful for my mostly 6 years of sobriety (with only 2 relapses, each lasting a day and both years apart) I keep coming back between romanticizing alcohol and feeling how "unfair" it is that everyone else can drink and "I can't". During my 2 one-day relapses, I actually was able to have a few beers (2 total) and stop. My husband is completely against drinking of any kind (we used to drink/party a lot and then he realized I had a problem so he quit completely for me, with me, in 2010). He was aware of my relapses and said that any other ones and we are over. Therefore, any relapse of any kind now is not going to happen.
I so badly want to stay married to the love of my life, yet, in my mind, I have justified "well, I've actually had a few beers and was totally fine stopping at that point".. but part of me is like, but that was only for a day or 2 that I relapsed, that's not every day life. I may have been able to control the alcohol in short bursts (my short relapses) but that's not how it will be overall, if I were to drink again (which I don't want to do, b/c that means my husband would divorce me).
I remember (yet don't remember) how completely detrimental alcohol was to my health and friendships, yet, I have made sober friends who seem so boring in comparison to my friends who DO drink, who like to get dressed up and pretty like me.. so it makes me feel even more like it's unfair that the ones that are most like me, are the ones that are drinking and going to happy hours. Thing is, I have a very fun and outgoing personality but sometimes I just want to relax with a beer or wine, something that will mellow me out like others "get to".
I have social anxiety and absolutely know that alcohol would be a "band-aid" that would not solve anything. So, I do other things like Yoga/Pilates/Exercise etc.. but even THOSE group of women drink wine and do the whole happy hour thing. I so badly wish I could do that too..I hate feeling like such an outcast, especially since I'm under 30, and most people are at their "drinking prime" right now.
Anyone ever feel like it's really unfair? What should I do about this? I do not know how to shake these feelings. I've been isolating myself from others for the most part b/c alcohol is everywhere in my huge city. My poor husband wants to do so many things with me but I always have that stupid monkey on my back that makes me want to drink.. I feel so depressed about this and would really like some help or advice if you have any :\
Hobbies seem to help but I just hate feeling like I "can't" drink and how it's "so unfair". I keep telling myself that my life was UNmanageable without alcohol so why rely on something for temporary anxiety relief that I know would be destroying my amazing marriage with my husband?
It is so much easier said than done, though
So as my title suggests, I'm new around here but am not very new to sobriety. I stopped drinking in 2010. Although I'm extremely blessed and thankful for my mostly 6 years of sobriety (with only 2 relapses, each lasting a day and both years apart) I keep coming back between romanticizing alcohol and feeling how "unfair" it is that everyone else can drink and "I can't". During my 2 one-day relapses, I actually was able to have a few beers (2 total) and stop. My husband is completely against drinking of any kind (we used to drink/party a lot and then he realized I had a problem so he quit completely for me, with me, in 2010). He was aware of my relapses and said that any other ones and we are over. Therefore, any relapse of any kind now is not going to happen.
I so badly want to stay married to the love of my life, yet, in my mind, I have justified "well, I've actually had a few beers and was totally fine stopping at that point".. but part of me is like, but that was only for a day or 2 that I relapsed, that's not every day life. I may have been able to control the alcohol in short bursts (my short relapses) but that's not how it will be overall, if I were to drink again (which I don't want to do, b/c that means my husband would divorce me).
I remember (yet don't remember) how completely detrimental alcohol was to my health and friendships, yet, I have made sober friends who seem so boring in comparison to my friends who DO drink, who like to get dressed up and pretty like me.. so it makes me feel even more like it's unfair that the ones that are most like me, are the ones that are drinking and going to happy hours. Thing is, I have a very fun and outgoing personality but sometimes I just want to relax with a beer or wine, something that will mellow me out like others "get to".
I have social anxiety and absolutely know that alcohol would be a "band-aid" that would not solve anything. So, I do other things like Yoga/Pilates/Exercise etc.. but even THOSE group of women drink wine and do the whole happy hour thing. I so badly wish I could do that too..I hate feeling like such an outcast, especially since I'm under 30, and most people are at their "drinking prime" right now.
Anyone ever feel like it's really unfair? What should I do about this? I do not know how to shake these feelings. I've been isolating myself from others for the most part b/c alcohol is everywhere in my huge city. My poor husband wants to do so many things with me but I always have that stupid monkey on my back that makes me want to drink.. I feel so depressed about this and would really like some help or advice if you have any :\
Hobbies seem to help but I just hate feeling like I "can't" drink and how it's "so unfair". I keep telling myself that my life was UNmanageable without alcohol so why rely on something for temporary anxiety relief that I know would be destroying my amazing marriage with my husband?
It is so much easier said than done, though
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,761
Welcome to the family. 
For me to stay sober I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I also had to embrace the notion that I wasn't depriving myself of anything good, and that my sober life would be (and is now) so much better than anything I had when I was drinking. Don't look at it as being cheated, look at it as investing in a better life and a happier marriage.
For me to stay sober I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I also had to embrace the notion that I wasn't depriving myself of anything good, and that my sober life would be (and is now) so much better than anything I had when I was drinking. Don't look at it as being cheated, look at it as investing in a better life and a happier marriage. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by least 
Welcome to the family. For me to stay sober I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I also had to embrace the notion that I wasn't depriving myself of anything good, and that my sober life would be (and is now) so much better than anything I had when I was drinking. Don't look at it as being cheated, look at it as investing in a better life and a happier marriage.
For me to stay sober I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I also had to embrace the notion that I wasn't depriving myself of anything good, and that my sober life would be (and is now) so much better than anything I had when I was drinking. Don't look at it as being cheated, look at it as investing in a better life and a happier marriage. Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
congrats on the 6 years.
I have almost 5 and i now and then romantisize wbout what it would be like to drink etc.. but i fi play the tape i know it doesnt end well.
I did the victom thing its not fair etc.. Its not fair that i cant eat trash food and remain thin. Its not fair that i can t skip excercise but still remain fit. its not fair that I cant drink like a "normal" person. Its not fair that I cant drink clorox. Wait a sec what? yeah its not fair that I cant do a lot of things but theres not this like illusion around say drinking clorox that makes it seem like a great idea. This idea of drinking and it'll be fine and its not fair that you cant is just an illusion its a figment your minds created. I hit a point of acceptance. If i want to remain fit i ahve to excercise. If i want to remain thin I have to eat properly. If i want to not have all the problems that booze brings I cant drink. Its not fair or unfair it just is the way that it is thats all. Perhaps I already drank my lifes allotment of booze or ate my lifes allotment of crap food I dunno But it just is the way that it is.
Once I accepted it for what it is I just didnt care anymore.
Now about 2 years after i sobered up i poured buckets of homemade wine down the drain and I thought man the fun i coulda had lol yeah that woulda never worked out well. Oh well and watched it all go.
It gets easier when you quit fighting yourself over it if that makes any sense. Drop the desires and attachements and illusions etc..
I have almost 5 and i now and then romantisize wbout what it would be like to drink etc.. but i fi play the tape i know it doesnt end well.
I did the victom thing its not fair etc.. Its not fair that i cant eat trash food and remain thin. Its not fair that i can t skip excercise but still remain fit. its not fair that I cant drink like a "normal" person. Its not fair that I cant drink clorox. Wait a sec what? yeah its not fair that I cant do a lot of things but theres not this like illusion around say drinking clorox that makes it seem like a great idea. This idea of drinking and it'll be fine and its not fair that you cant is just an illusion its a figment your minds created. I hit a point of acceptance. If i want to remain fit i ahve to excercise. If i want to remain thin I have to eat properly. If i want to not have all the problems that booze brings I cant drink. Its not fair or unfair it just is the way that it is thats all. Perhaps I already drank my lifes allotment of booze or ate my lifes allotment of crap food I dunno But it just is the way that it is.
Once I accepted it for what it is I just didnt care anymore.
Now about 2 years after i sobered up i poured buckets of homemade wine down the drain and I thought man the fun i coulda had lol yeah that woulda never worked out well. Oh well and watched it all go.
It gets easier when you quit fighting yourself over it if that makes any sense. Drop the desires and attachements and illusions etc..
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Oh and as for anxiety and such and feeling like your just distracting yourself I get that. I had that problem for a while. I felt like i was faking my way through other stuff just to try and be something anyhthing other then an alcoholic. who'd rather just sit around and get drunk instead. I guess some of that goes in with the whole I feel this is unfair thing to a degree. But I know what you mean. its like you feel like your simply passing the time and that is all.
For me? I dunno i guess those things i did to pass the time just stuck and thats what I became and i dropped the attachedment to thee past and became more and more excited about today and what I was doing right now etc..
For me for anxiety relief I run. without it I"m climbing the walls with anxiety. There have been days where I'd cry while running thinking why does it have to be like this? but its just how it is. its my release each day and I really enjoy it. I'll also read and listen to relaxing music to calm my nerves.
Hopefully you'll stick around thers a lot of good advice to be gained here.
For me? I dunno i guess those things i did to pass the time just stuck and thats what I became and i dropped the attachedment to thee past and became more and more excited about today and what I was doing right now etc..
For me for anxiety relief I run. without it I"m climbing the walls with anxiety. There have been days where I'd cry while running thinking why does it have to be like this? but its just how it is. its my release each day and I really enjoy it. I'll also read and listen to relaxing music to calm my nerves.
Hopefully you'll stick around thers a lot of good advice to be gained here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
i dont think ive ever thought it was unfair i cant drink like others. in fact, ive felt,and still do, very blessed and greatful i know i cant!
today i still dont find it unfair. that would be rather childish and self pitying of me- two things tbat dont do good in my life.
i realized that when i stopped looking for fun things to do where people tend to drink that there are a whole lot of activities where there are people that dont drink.
some of my greatest times,best memories, and best friends have been by volunteering my time to less fortunate. even voljnteering at the local animal shelter. maybe because it helps me get out of myself and my selfish,self centered, self pity and see how fortunate i am.
today i still dont find it unfair. that would be rather childish and self pitying of me- two things tbat dont do good in my life.
i realized that when i stopped looking for fun things to do where people tend to drink that there are a whole lot of activities where there are people that dont drink.
some of my greatest times,best memories, and best friends have been by volunteering my time to less fortunate. even voljnteering at the local animal shelter. maybe because it helps me get out of myself and my selfish,self centered, self pity and see how fortunate i am.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
SugarPlum,
welcome to you.
it's amazing what our minds can tell us that goes counter to our own experience!
yet, in my mind, I have justified "well, I've actually had a few beers and was totally fine stopping at that point"..
sure. you stopped drinking.
what you didn't stop is obsessing about drinking. here you are, doing it.
you weren't fine. you aren't okay with it.
so it's great you're here, taking another look. or two. or twenty.
hope you'll stick around.
welcome to you.
it's amazing what our minds can tell us that goes counter to our own experience!
yet, in my mind, I have justified "well, I've actually had a few beers and was totally fine stopping at that point"..
sure. you stopped drinking.
what you didn't stop is obsessing about drinking. here you are, doing it.
you weren't fine. you aren't okay with it.
so it's great you're here, taking another look. or two. or twenty.
hope you'll stick around.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Hi Plum, welcome.
Alcohol provides only a temporary "feel good" moment; very fleeting, really. It may seem that "everyone" is going out and having a good time and increasing their pleasure(s) in life, but that *just*isn't*so*....it just ain't so, friend. Don't be deceived into thinking you are 'missing out'. Because, simply put: You AREN'T!
So then, why is it that something that can bring temporary feelings of pleasure can also be so harmful? I've thought deep and long about this. I love the sun, for example. It feels so good on my skin. Oh, but it causes pre-mature aging and skin cancer. DARN! I love sweets. I love Krispy-Creme donuts. DANG. I can't have those too often, that's for sure. So, I can choose to partake of some things that aren't too good to overindulge in ... and then: there are those things I can partake of that cross the blood brain barrier and alter the chemistry of my BRAIN, but only give a temporary sense of pleasure and then wears off...no lasting value, but lasting HARM.
Something to think about.
There are SO many things that we can do for fun and pleasure that are much better for us that have good lasting value. Alcohol is not one of those...
Alcohol provides only a temporary "feel good" moment; very fleeting, really. It may seem that "everyone" is going out and having a good time and increasing their pleasure(s) in life, but that *just*isn't*so*....it just ain't so, friend. Don't be deceived into thinking you are 'missing out'. Because, simply put: You AREN'T!
So then, why is it that something that can bring temporary feelings of pleasure can also be so harmful? I've thought deep and long about this. I love the sun, for example. It feels so good on my skin. Oh, but it causes pre-mature aging and skin cancer. DARN! I love sweets. I love Krispy-Creme donuts. DANG. I can't have those too often, that's for sure. So, I can choose to partake of some things that aren't too good to overindulge in ... and then: there are those things I can partake of that cross the blood brain barrier and alter the chemistry of my BRAIN, but only give a temporary sense of pleasure and then wears off...no lasting value, but lasting HARM.
Something to think about.
There are SO many things that we can do for fun and pleasure that are much better for us that have good lasting value. Alcohol is not one of those...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 216
I hear of all these celebs/models who eat donuts and burgers and still remain skinny without any cellulite. It's not fair!
Yep, life ain't fair and sometimes you get dealt the cards that gave you the gene for a slow metabolism and sometimes you get dealt the card for alcoholism.
The main thing is how you deal with it. You can allow this jealousy over other people being able to drink eat away at you, or you can just keep telling yourself that you don't need booze to have fun. Are you doing any therapy, AA meetings to help you maintain sobriety? If not, you should.
Yep, life ain't fair and sometimes you get dealt the cards that gave you the gene for a slow metabolism and sometimes you get dealt the card for alcoholism.
The main thing is how you deal with it. You can allow this jealousy over other people being able to drink eat away at you, or you can just keep telling yourself that you don't need booze to have fun. Are you doing any therapy, AA meetings to help you maintain sobriety? If not, you should.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
I just posted about not feeling deprived and why here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...7-post245.html
I quit drinking and smoking in 2010 too. Welcome to SR, a great place to hang out and not worry because we take each other for who we are today, not what we were, though we will never forget.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...7-post245.html
I quit drinking and smoking in 2010 too. Welcome to SR, a great place to hang out and not worry because we take each other for who we are today, not what we were, though we will never forget.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,391
Hi sugarplumbunny
I knew that unless I changed my life - far more than just not drinking - there would always be this hole there that would probably like as not drag me back in one day.
I've worked hard to change - I've learned how to have fun without booze and how to be, if not entirely at ease, ok with social situations sober...I've learned how to deal with emotions, disappointments, fear anger stress or boredom without drinking.
I've learned to love the non drinking me and even be proud of that.
I love my sober life and I like who I am. Drinking again means all that is at risk. It's not an acceptable risk.
how many of the things you used to drink over do you think you've learned to deal with in other ways?
D
I knew that unless I changed my life - far more than just not drinking - there would always be this hole there that would probably like as not drag me back in one day.
I've worked hard to change - I've learned how to have fun without booze and how to be, if not entirely at ease, ok with social situations sober...I've learned how to deal with emotions, disappointments, fear anger stress or boredom without drinking.
I've learned to love the non drinking me and even be proud of that.
I love my sober life and I like who I am. Drinking again means all that is at risk. It's not an acceptable risk.
how many of the things you used to drink over do you think you've learned to deal with in other ways?
D
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
I definitely relate. It's a hard switch. I like people who drink. I like parties. I like dancing and festivals and staying out too late. And happy hours and etc etc etc. And I like the people who like those things. I also like yoga, and hiking, and meditation, and lectures, so it's not like that was my whole world. But it was certainly a big part of it.
For me the only way that this has become not a constant struggle is getting to the point where I can go out to all of the same events that I used to go to and have fun sober. I mean yes, sometimes people get sloppy and then I get bored and leave. But I no longer have to leave anywhere just because there's alcohol. If it weren't for this, I think I'd go nuts. At least for me, I've found that once I get through the initial temptation, all of those events are just as fun as when I was drinking... actually more so, because I'm just enjoying myself and not obsessing over booze. Plus I remember them the next day, which was not really a given for a while.
If you can, I really recommend trying to keep a "normal" social life, but I don't know how to advise that you get there. I went out after my first sobriety, relapsed hard, lost everything, and basically nearly died, so now I'm pretty clear on what happens with me and alcohol. I really don't recommend that route!
For me the only way that this has become not a constant struggle is getting to the point where I can go out to all of the same events that I used to go to and have fun sober. I mean yes, sometimes people get sloppy and then I get bored and leave. But I no longer have to leave anywhere just because there's alcohol. If it weren't for this, I think I'd go nuts. At least for me, I've found that once I get through the initial temptation, all of those events are just as fun as when I was drinking... actually more so, because I'm just enjoying myself and not obsessing over booze. Plus I remember them the next day, which was not really a given for a while.
If you can, I really recommend trying to keep a "normal" social life, but I don't know how to advise that you get there. I went out after my first sobriety, relapsed hard, lost everything, and basically nearly died, so now I'm pretty clear on what happens with me and alcohol. I really don't recommend that route!
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I Used to like all that socail aspect, but then the people stopped liking me. I was met at the gate and sent away. The only invitations I got were invitations to leave. I was once thanked for NOT coming to an event. There is no happy ending for drinking alcoholics. Our drinking always comes to an end eventually, and always in one of three ways.
We sobered up, got locked up, or covered up. Looks like you got the best of those options at the moment, but you might have to do something about treating that alcoholism if you want it to stay that way.
We sobered up, got locked up, or covered up. Looks like you got the best of those options at the moment, but you might have to do something about treating that alcoholism if you want it to stay that way.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Welcome SugarPlumBunny 
Many years ago, I had 6 years of sobriety under my belt and then I relapsed for the next 22 years. I am now 57 years old and recommitted to my sobriety for 1 year 4 months and counting.
What is different this time around is my commitment to recovery, not just to not drinking because I "can't". I have become my own hobby; discovering what makes me tick, what makes me happy, who I am, what hasn't worked in the past and finding new ways of thinking and looking at life.
I hope you stick around, soak up the amazing wisdom to be found here at SR and find your way to happily embrace your sober recovery.
Many years ago, I had 6 years of sobriety under my belt and then I relapsed for the next 22 years. I am now 57 years old and recommitted to my sobriety for 1 year 4 months and counting.
What is different this time around is my commitment to recovery, not just to not drinking because I "can't". I have become my own hobby; discovering what makes me tick, what makes me happy, who I am, what hasn't worked in the past and finding new ways of thinking and looking at life.
I hope you stick around, soak up the amazing wisdom to be found here at SR and find your way to happily embrace your sober recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by zjw
congrats on the 6 years.
I have almost 5 and i now and then romantisize wbout what it would be like to drink etc.. but i fi play the tape i know it doesnt end well.
I did the victom thing its not fair etc.. Its not fair that i cant eat trash food and remain thin. Its not fair that i can t skip excercise but still remain fit. its not fair that I cant drink like a "normal" person. Its not fair that I cant drink clorox. Wait a sec what? yeah its not fair that I cant do a lot of things but theres not this like illusion around say drinking clorox that makes it seem like a great idea. This idea of drinking and it'll be fine and its not fair that you cant is just an illusion its a figment your minds created. I hit a point of acceptance. If i want to remain fit i ahve to excercise. If i want to remain thin I have to eat properly. If i want to not have all the problems that booze brings I cant drink. Its not fair or unfair it just is the way that it is thats all. Perhaps I already drank my lifes allotment of booze or ate my lifes allotment of crap food I dunno But it just is the way that it is.
Once I accepted it for what it is I just didnt care anymore.
Now about 2 years after i sobered up i poured buckets of homemade wine down the drain and I thought man the fun i coulda had lol yeah that woulda never worked out well. Oh well and watched it all go.
It gets easier when you quit fighting yourself over it if that makes any sense. Drop the desires and attachements and illusions etc..
I have almost 5 and i now and then romantisize wbout what it would be like to drink etc.. but i fi play the tape i know it doesnt end well.
I did the victom thing its not fair etc.. Its not fair that i cant eat trash food and remain thin. Its not fair that i can t skip excercise but still remain fit. its not fair that I cant drink like a "normal" person. Its not fair that I cant drink clorox. Wait a sec what? yeah its not fair that I cant do a lot of things but theres not this like illusion around say drinking clorox that makes it seem like a great idea. This idea of drinking and it'll be fine and its not fair that you cant is just an illusion its a figment your minds created. I hit a point of acceptance. If i want to remain fit i ahve to excercise. If i want to remain thin I have to eat properly. If i want to not have all the problems that booze brings I cant drink. Its not fair or unfair it just is the way that it is thats all. Perhaps I already drank my lifes allotment of booze or ate my lifes allotment of crap food I dunno But it just is the way that it is.
Once I accepted it for what it is I just didnt care anymore.
Now about 2 years after i sobered up i poured buckets of homemade wine down the drain and I thought man the fun i coulda had lol yeah that woulda never worked out well. Oh well and watched it all go.
It gets easier when you quit fighting yourself over it if that makes any sense. Drop the desires and attachements and illusions etc..
Thanks SO much for your very thorough responses!! You seriously made my day and month hehe. You're so right about fighting myself, I do, and in the end I'm only making myself suffer. I, too have a dog to taking her our for walks and jogs would be a great addition to my workouts. You actually inspired me to restart my workout program and I bought very nice and functional running shoes last night. It feels soo great knowing that there is someone who knows exactly what I'm going through and I can't thank you enough for your very inspirational and kind words!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by alcoholics wife
I hear of all these celebs/models who eat donuts and burgers and still remain skinny without any cellulite. It's not fair!
Yep, life ain't fair and sometimes you get dealt the cards that gave you the gene for a slow metabolism and sometimes you get dealt the card for alcoholism.
The main thing is how you deal with it. You can allow this jealousy over other people being able to drink eat away at you, or you can just keep telling yourself that you don't need booze to have fun. Are you doing any therapy, AA meetings to help you maintain sobriety? If not, you should.
Yep, life ain't fair and sometimes you get dealt the cards that gave you the gene for a slow metabolism and sometimes you get dealt the card for alcoholism.
The main thing is how you deal with it. You can allow this jealousy over other people being able to drink eat away at you, or you can just keep telling yourself that you don't need booze to have fun. Are you doing any therapy, AA meetings to help you maintain sobriety? If not, you should.
Thanks for your reply, alcoholics wife! -true, it is how I perceive things that makes all the difference. I don't want to live in jealousy bc I'm not a jealous person overall but when it comes to alcohol, yes I totally am.
I'm currently attending Smart recovery. I've done AA on the past and loved it, however, my social anxiety really overpowered me. At Smart recovery , it is a smaller class size but I am hoping to that when I am not as nervous and have more stable footing, I will be back to AA. I love all the support I've been given both at AA and at Smart Recovery.. And now here at Soberrecovery. Thanks again!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 216
Originally Posted by SugarPlumBunny
Thanks for your reply, alcoholics wife! -true, it is how I perceive things that makes all the difference. I don't want to I've in jealousy bc I'm not a jealous person overall but when it comes to alcohol, yes I totally am. I'm currently attending Smart recovery. I've done AA on the past and loved it, however, my social anxiety really overpowered me. At Smart recovery , it is a smaller class size but I am hoping to that when I am not as nervous and have more stable footing, I will be back to AA. I love all the support I've been given both at AA and at Smart Recovery.. And now here at Soberrecovery. Thanks again!
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