My Mind Playing Tricks on Me
 

The Geto Boys did a song back in the day called "My Mind Playing Tricks on Me." That sums up what's been going on the last few days with me and my nearly 8 weeks of sobriety. lol

I'm feeling good, feeling more confident, realizing that I have options in life and that my life is far from over. This confidence I am feeling is a familiar confidence, and it is one that I sought to squash with the alcohol to keep myself from feeling too good, to keep myself in check as my "realist" (aka negative) drinking self used to say.

It's weird feeling good without being drunk or high...

It sounds like a good feeling to me....your mind may be starting to heal.

It's a great feeling not to wake up with hangovers and to have a positive outlook on life. Keep up the good work

Congrats talldude

Way to go, Talldude. You deserve it.

Been nearly 4 months and things are getting better.

In the drinking or drug mode, I overanalyzed decisions I had made, especially regarding relationships, and overanalyzed what I should do, as if life was this gigantic, all-important chess game.

Not been feeling the need to do that as I have more confidence with things. The world is not gonna fall apart if my work day is not exactly perfect, nor is a particular relationship gonna fall apart if I don't do something perfectly.

I'm learning that doing things my way is doing things imperfectly, which is ok because that makes me me. lol

Way to go on your sober time! Glad to hear things are improving for you.

reminds me how i used to micromanage every facet of my life to the point of driving myself totally nuts.

One time early on in my marriage my wife told me Life is not some software program that i can just program and get the outcome i want. I always meticulously micromanaged it all. Instead of just allowing things to be and going with the flow and being happy with wherever that took me.

good job on the 4 months too btw!

Ah yes the Geto Boys, great song! Congratulations on your sobriety, talldude.

Great job talldude!

Awesome job Talldude congratulations on 4 months sober

I was scared of being happy for a long time cos in my head happiness was that period just before everything turned to mud again...

I was all scared cos happiness is an intense feeling and I self medicated my intense feelings for years...

I hope you'll roll with it TallDude - happiness is nothing to fear :)

D

That's funny I heard that song on the radio today!! Keep up the good work

Wow. Thank you so much for writing this. That's exactly what I used to do. And I don't anymore. I hadn't really thought of it that way until I read this.

So glad that you're enjoying your sobriety! Congrats on 4 months!