Please pray
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Thanks for the update. How truly devastating. Please, please, what ever you do, do not drink on this. Your wonderful wife will really benefit from you being present and emotionally available to her at this time, and as painful as it is, grief like this cannot be escaped anyway.
Thinking of you both.
Thinking of you both.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 98
I don't know much about sobriety but I know a LOT about breast cancer. Feel free to PM me if you have *any* questions. I also highly recommend Dr Susan Love's The Breast Book. She is a renowned breast cancer Doctor.
My mom and my sister both have had breast cancer. I know several people who had lymph node involvement and are cancer free now.
My unsolicited advice:
- Cancer is a marathon, not a sprint. Take a deep breath and pace yourselves. There is a lot of uncertainty that you will have to live with.
- ignore the statistics. They don't (can't) take into account recent enormous advances in treatment because they are based on historical data before the many new treatments are available.
- Chemo is your friend and salvation. Don't fight it. Chemo is so much more important than surgery for breast cancer. People fixate on "cutting it out" - but the tumor in the breast is not the issue, it is any cells that may have spun off. You want to zap them, hard. And, it works. If there is lymph node involvement ask about chemo before surgery, getting at those cells that are trying to escape ASAP. Also you can observe if that chemo works for that tumor because if it does it will shrink the tumor. With surgery first you don't know. It has many advantages. Google "neo adjuvant treatment breast cancer".
- Depending on the chemo regimen, she will probably feel awful for a few days and then regain strength. Plan activities for the good days.
- Find out what type of cancer she has. If it is estrogen or progestone positive there are additional hormone treatment options to add. If it is HER-2 positive there are highly effective gene based therapies. If it is negative for all 3 you want to be extra aggressive with chemo.
- Take care of yourself. I became an active alcoholic when dealing with my sister's cancer.
- People will show a burst of support initially and then fade away. Keep asking for what you need. For a while there will be a ton of activity -
Chemo, surgery, radiation, scans, tests, etc. Then, nothing. Wait and pray. The end of treatment can be the worst - be aware and be there for your wife.
My mom and my sister both have had breast cancer. I know several people who had lymph node involvement and are cancer free now.
My unsolicited advice:
- Cancer is a marathon, not a sprint. Take a deep breath and pace yourselves. There is a lot of uncertainty that you will have to live with.
- ignore the statistics. They don't (can't) take into account recent enormous advances in treatment because they are based on historical data before the many new treatments are available.
- Chemo is your friend and salvation. Don't fight it. Chemo is so much more important than surgery for breast cancer. People fixate on "cutting it out" - but the tumor in the breast is not the issue, it is any cells that may have spun off. You want to zap them, hard. And, it works. If there is lymph node involvement ask about chemo before surgery, getting at those cells that are trying to escape ASAP. Also you can observe if that chemo works for that tumor because if it does it will shrink the tumor. With surgery first you don't know. It has many advantages. Google "neo adjuvant treatment breast cancer".
- Depending on the chemo regimen, she will probably feel awful for a few days and then regain strength. Plan activities for the good days.
- Find out what type of cancer she has. If it is estrogen or progestone positive there are additional hormone treatment options to add. If it is HER-2 positive there are highly effective gene based therapies. If it is negative for all 3 you want to be extra aggressive with chemo.
- Take care of yourself. I became an active alcoholic when dealing with my sister's cancer.
- People will show a burst of support initially and then fade away. Keep asking for what you need. For a while there will be a ton of activity -
Chemo, surgery, radiation, scans, tests, etc. Then, nothing. Wait and pray. The end of treatment can be the worst - be aware and be there for your wife.
From the Great White North
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 34
jseattle..I can't begin to thank you enough for your insight..this recent information from the surgeon advising of the stage seemed even worse than the initial news of the cancer..
there is sooo much information floating around that it is over whelming..and certainly difficult to sift through the good from the bad..or say not so good..
I'm learning about this disease in a big way and because of that can concur with the suggestions you've made. She is estrogen +..not sure about the HER-2 receptors as the documents I have from the pathologist are deep and techincal..
The thing I have difficulty with presently is the time it appears we will have to wait (30 days+) to commence therapy (chemo) but I understand they want to perform two full body scans to see if any of the cancer has spread to other areas before they formulate the chemo regiment.
And I'm happy to say there is no desire to imbibe...so far
there is sooo much information floating around that it is over whelming..and certainly difficult to sift through the good from the bad..or say not so good..
I'm learning about this disease in a big way and because of that can concur with the suggestions you've made. She is estrogen +..not sure about the HER-2 receptors as the documents I have from the pathologist are deep and techincal..
The thing I have difficulty with presently is the time it appears we will have to wait (30 days+) to commence therapy (chemo) but I understand they want to perform two full body scans to see if any of the cancer has spread to other areas before they formulate the chemo regiment.
And I'm happy to say there is no desire to imbibe...so far
From the Great White North
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 34
Well a quick update..we finally received the results of the bone/organ scans and thank God they came back negative..finally some hope.
Next week we have a meeting with the Oncologist for the chemo regime.
With my 7 year anniversary coming up on June 1 we're really hoping for some good news like possibly no chemo and just radiation or at least a fast regime without the red wrath (a specially nasty chemo drug I've read about)
thanks again everyone for the awesome support
N
Next week we have a meeting with the Oncologist for the chemo regime.
With my 7 year anniversary coming up on June 1 we're really hoping for some good news like possibly no chemo and just radiation or at least a fast regime without the red wrath (a specially nasty chemo drug I've read about)
thanks again everyone for the awesome support
N
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