TigerLili

You suck and I'm sick of your BS. I'm tired of your lies, and your promises that never come true. Every time I find the strength to walk away, you sweet talk me into coming back. It will be better this time, you say. What a crock. It's NEVER better. You're exactly the same and you will NEVER change.

I gave you everything and you gave me nothing except trouble. I lied for you, I stole for you, I lost my dignity and self respect for you. You screwed with me at my job, pulled me away from my friends and family, emptied my wallet and kept telling me everything was fine.

I'm tired of plotting and scheming how to get together with you. I'm tired of how you make me feel. You make me feel bad about myself, unlovable and pathetic. You made me become everything I never wanted to be. You took away my ambition and my dreams. You're killing me with a thousand paper cuts. Stop telling me it will get better. I don't believe your lies. You bring NOTHING to the table. Not once have you improved anything in my life. I didn't even like you the first time I met you. I thought you were awful but you won me over and slowly wore me down, and out.

You suck. Stay the hell away from me.

Delizadee

Huh. I was just saying the same things.

TigerLili

Heh. Great minds ;-)

Thumpalumpacus

Great post. GREAT post.

yinzer

And refer to this post next time you feel pulled back.....

TigerLili

You mean like every five seconds, Yinzer?

lol

blergh.

Gottalife

Are you my ex fiance?

I received this very message from her, from friends, family, employers, anyone close to me and quite a few not close. When they had all said their piece and no one was left but me, that was the point at which I became "interested" in recovery.

I guess your piece was about alcohol, but it actually described my relationships with the people around me when I was drinking. The booze was but a symptom...

Bailey3

Great post! The only thing I would add is: Because of you, I led a less than mediocre life.

FarToGo

Fantastic post! Thank you.
xx

Ariesagain

It really does get easier...just give it time.

yinzer

Give it time. It really does get better the longer you get away from it! The first couple weeks were a constant battle every minute, but now I have spent a few nights a week not really even thinking about it. The rest of the time I have to be vigilant and keep myself occupied here or doing something else until the cravings pass.

zerothehero

Like the lines between you and the booze were blurred?

waynetheking

Great post, THANK YOU!!

tomsteve

" Stay the hell away from me."
it wont come near you. its you that has to stay away from it.

zjw

great post the sad part is I'm sick and despite the insanity fo the toxic relationship I could see myself welcoming it back one day if the conditions where ripe and that scares me. Just gotta stay vigilent.

waywardson8260

Awesome post tiger!

Gottalife

Well, maybe. Alcoholism comes in people. Booze was the solution that came in a bottle. Take away the alcohol and I still had the alcoholism. Treat the alcoholism and the alcohol becomes redundant, not needed or wanted.

The alcoholism permeated my behaviour and decision making drunk or sober and lead me into a completely self centred existence, which hurt all the people around me. To recover I needed a complete psychic change, and pat of the work required for that was hearing and understanding how people were hurt and how I could do my part to right my wrongs and bring about some healing.

The op described very well how my ex felt about me and my behaviour. Alcohol didn't hurt her, I did.

otter

Sounds just like my thoughts the day I woke up and realized alcohol is nothing but a really bad acquaintance I made in poor judgement but was always there when I needed a crutch but the crutch was always made out of rubber.