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You suck.

Old 04-16-2016, 07:25 PM
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You suck.

You suck and I'm sick of your BS. I'm tired of your lies, and your promises that never come true. Every time I find the strength to walk away, you sweet talk me into coming back. It will be better this time, you say. What a crock. It's NEVER better. You're exactly the same and you will NEVER change.

I gave you everything and you gave me nothing except trouble. I lied for you, I stole for you, I lost my dignity and self respect for you. You screwed with me at my job, pulled me away from my friends and family, emptied my wallet and kept telling me everything was fine.

I'm tired of plotting and scheming how to get together with you. I'm tired of how you make me feel. You make me feel bad about myself, unlovable and pathetic. You made me become everything I never wanted to be. You took away my ambition and my dreams. You're killing me with a thousand paper cuts. Stop telling me it will get better. I don't believe your lies. You bring NOTHING to the table. Not once have you improved anything in my life. I didn't even like you the first time I met you. I thought you were awful but you won me over and slowly wore me down, and out.

You suck. Stay the hell away from me.
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Old 04-16-2016, 07:32 PM
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Huh. I was just saying the same things.
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Old 04-16-2016, 07:45 PM
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Heh. Great minds ;-)
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Old 04-16-2016, 07:46 PM
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Great post. GREAT post.
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Old 04-16-2016, 08:17 PM
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And refer to this post next time you feel pulled back.....
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Old 04-16-2016, 08:46 PM
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You mean like every five seconds, Yinzer?

lol

blergh.
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Old 04-17-2016, 01:51 AM
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Originally Posted by TigerLili View Post
You suck and I'm sick of your BS. I'm tired of your lies, and your promises that never come true. Every time I find the strength to walk away, you sweet talk me into coming back. It will be better this time, you say. What a crock. It's NEVER better. You're exactly the same and you will NEVER change.

I gave you everything and you gave me nothing except trouble. I lied for you, I stole for you, I lost my dignity and self respect for you. You screwed with me at my job, pulled me away from my friends and family, emptied my wallet and kept telling me everything was fine.

I'm tired of plotting and scheming how to get together with you. I'm tired of how you make me feel. You make me feel bad about myself, unlovable and pathetic. You made me become everything I never wanted to be. You took away my ambition and my dreams. You're killing me with a thousand paper cuts. Stop telling me it will get better. I don't believe your lies. You bring NOTHING to the table. Not once have you improved anything in my life. I didn't even like you the first time I met you. I thought you were awful but you won me over and slowly wore me down, and out.

You suck. Stay the hell away from me.
Are you my ex fiance?

I received this very message from her, from friends, family, employers, anyone close to me and quite a few not close. When they had all said their piece and no one was left but me, that was the point at which I became "interested" in recovery.

I guess your piece was about alcohol, but it actually described my relationships with the people around me when I was drinking. The booze was but a symptom...
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Old 04-17-2016, 03:42 AM
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Great post! The only thing I would add is: Because of you, I led a less than mediocre life.
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Old 04-17-2016, 03:56 AM
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Fantastic post! Thank you.
xx
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Old 04-17-2016, 05:11 AM
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Originally Posted by TigerLili View Post
You mean like every five seconds, Yinzer?

lol

blergh.
It really does get easier...just give it time.
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Old 04-17-2016, 06:34 AM
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Give it time. It really does get better the longer you get away from it! The first couple weeks were a constant battle every minute, but now I have spent a few nights a week not really even thinking about it. The rest of the time I have to be vigilant and keep myself occupied here or doing something else until the cravings pass.
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Old 04-17-2016, 01:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Gottalife View Post
Are you my ex fiance?

I received this very message from her, from friends, family, employers, anyone close to me and quite a few not close. When they had all said their piece and no one was left but me, that was the point at which I became "interested" in recovery.

I guess your piece was about alcohol, but it actually described my relationships with the people around me when I was drinking. The booze was but a symptom...
Like the lines between you and the booze were blurred?
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Old 04-17-2016, 03:16 PM
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Great post, THANK YOU!!
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Old 04-18-2016, 05:06 AM
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" Stay the hell away from me."
it wont come near you. its you that has to stay away from it.
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Old 04-18-2016, 05:16 AM
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great post the sad part is I'm sick and despite the insanity fo the toxic relationship I could see myself welcoming it back one day if the conditions where ripe and that scares me. Just gotta stay vigilent.
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Old 04-18-2016, 05:27 AM
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Awesome post tiger!
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Old 04-18-2016, 06:23 AM
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Originally Posted by zerothehero View Post
Like the lines between you and the booze were blurred?
Well, maybe. Alcoholism comes in people. Booze was the solution that came in a bottle. Take away the alcohol and I still had the alcoholism. Treat the alcoholism and the alcohol becomes redundant, not needed or wanted.

The alcoholism permeated my behaviour and decision making drunk or sober and lead me into a completely self centred existence, which hurt all the people around me. To recover I needed a complete psychic change, and pat of the work required for that was hearing and understanding how people were hurt and how I could do my part to right my wrongs and bring about some healing.

The op described very well how my ex felt about me and my behaviour. Alcohol didn't hurt her, I did.
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Old 04-19-2016, 09:57 PM
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Sounds just like my thoughts the day I woke up and realized alcohol is nothing but a really bad acquaintance I made in poor judgement but was always there when I needed a crutch but the crutch was always made out of rubber.
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