Diary of a Mad Cow, Part XIX: "Back in Black ...and White"
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Mania much worse today, it not just in brain now. Whole body is agitated and pulsating. No focus.
Is like...
Not sleep again. And up early and already have interactions with people where I was act super over controling and was talking over people again. Total irritated by most minor of thing. I starting then stopping tasks, feel like I has to does everything right now, but not really able to get anything done. Just random craziness. I think is prudent to just get back into bed before I says or does something stupid.
Son of bitch, why can't I has the energizing feel-good type of mania I hear other people with the bi-polar speak about?!
Is like...
Not sleep again. And up early and already have interactions with people where I was act super over controling and was talking over people again. Total irritated by most minor of thing. I starting then stopping tasks, feel like I has to does everything right now, but not really able to get anything done. Just random craziness. I think is prudent to just get back into bed before I says or does something stupid.
Son of bitch, why can't I has the energizing feel-good type of mania I hear other people with the bi-polar speak about?!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
(((((Cow))))) can you call your doctor? Is this possibly a detox reaction? Sounds like maybe getting back in bed might be a good idea. Would doing simple tasks give you something to think about and focus?
We are here for you. My internet connection isn't good but I'll try to stay connected
Love from Lenina
We are here for you. My internet connection isn't good but I'll try to stay connected
Love from Lenina
Cow
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Not sleeping must be contributing a good bit to this Cow.
Do you have ideas on what might help with that?
Not sure if this is helpful at all, but when I'm having trouble with sleep, these things help quite a lot (with a nod to your friend, Lenina):
1. Clean sheets
2. Clean body
3. Reading anything with nothing else electronic going on. Sometimes I fall asleep reading SR, other times it's a book - both ways using my phone or ipad. For some reason, the computer does not have the same affect - probably because I can't read my computer in my usual sleeping "stance."
That feel-good mania can lead people to spending sprees and gambling - sure you want that?
Anyhow, you hang in there.
Do you have ideas on what might help with that?
Not sure if this is helpful at all, but when I'm having trouble with sleep, these things help quite a lot (with a nod to your friend, Lenina):
1. Clean sheets
2. Clean body
3. Reading anything with nothing else electronic going on. Sometimes I fall asleep reading SR, other times it's a book - both ways using my phone or ipad. For some reason, the computer does not have the same affect - probably because I can't read my computer in my usual sleeping "stance."
That feel-good mania can lead people to spending sprees and gambling - sure you want that?
Anyhow, you hang in there.
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Fooooo! Well I little bit better now, but had some serious head clenching "I can't stand it! I CAN'T STAND IT!!" CrazyCow moments. Doctor just want me to keep try med after med even though I been through total hell with all of them.
Right now, I guess this to be expected. I mean, I withdrawing from stimulant and alcohol and plus dealing with menopause and untreated bi-polar. And little sleep. So, yeah, is pretty tough beat down. I have sleeping pill, which usual work, but not lately, is just too much going on.
Really appreciate all you support. Right now is just constant crisis management. Any SaneCow moments I has must be spent on work.
I be brave if you will Sleepies. Whatever those tests say or not say, you already get Grade A+ by everybody here.
PUFF!!!! How is you, Little Lamb? How is you going? How is you feeling? I does hope you stick around.
Right now, I guess this to be expected. I mean, I withdrawing from stimulant and alcohol and plus dealing with menopause and untreated bi-polar. And little sleep. So, yeah, is pretty tough beat down. I have sleeping pill, which usual work, but not lately, is just too much going on.
Really appreciate all you support. Right now is just constant crisis management. Any SaneCow moments I has must be spent on work.
I be brave if you will Sleepies. Whatever those tests say or not say, you already get Grade A+ by everybody here.
PUFF!!!! How is you, Little Lamb? How is you going? How is you feeling? I does hope you stick around.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Originally Posted by Cow 
Right now, I guess this to be expected. I mean, I withdrawing from stimulant and alcohol and plus dealing with menopause and untreated bi-polar.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 283
Slowly, I'm healing from the radiation. The good news is that I'm done with treatments minus the hormone shot I have to take every month. But, I'm done.
Of course, I will get routine check ups. Then I will pray, wish, beg or whatever else that cancer will never return. Today, my body is tired and I feel fat.
I hope you find some sleep Cow. It really does make a difference. Your body and mind are screaming right now for some rest.
Of course, I will get routine check ups. Then I will pray, wish, beg or whatever else that cancer will never return. Today, my body is tired and I feel fat.
I hope you find some sleep Cow. It really does make a difference. Your body and mind are screaming right now for some rest.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
(((((Puffy)))) I hope the bad times are over and now the good part starts as you heal.
Cow, I've never been a good sleeper but when the menopause kicked in, not only did I not sleep, my brain couldn't focus. It was like being very muddled. I couldn't remember stuff. You might see about some HRT. It took about a week but my mind could focus and I slept better. The round the clock hot/cold in twenty minute cycles stopped and I felt better,
I think you have a "confluence of events" going on, Detox, menopause, rapid cycling bi polar. I think your doctors might be able to help with the HRT.
Just know it does pass. I understand there's newer meds for bipolar today. So, please, hang in there and let your little body heal from the binge.
I think in early sobriety it's best to keep it simple. Stay to a strict schedule. Have your day planned and don't deviate,
Love from Lenina
Cow, I've never been a good sleeper but when the menopause kicked in, not only did I not sleep, my brain couldn't focus. It was like being very muddled. I couldn't remember stuff. You might see about some HRT. It took about a week but my mind could focus and I slept better. The round the clock hot/cold in twenty minute cycles stopped and I felt better,
I think you have a "confluence of events" going on, Detox, menopause, rapid cycling bi polar. I think your doctors might be able to help with the HRT.
Just know it does pass. I understand there's newer meds for bipolar today. So, please, hang in there and let your little body heal from the binge.
I think in early sobriety it's best to keep it simple. Stay to a strict schedule. Have your day planned and don't deviate,
Love from Lenina
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