Jsbodhi

Yeah you covered a lot of mine in your list too; so I got to shorten mine a bit haha.

I'm better this week, march and the beginning of April was just rough.

How are you feeling?

Delizadee

I am fighting the demon tonight. We seem bound and determined to drown each other.
Seems we are in a panic about day uno tomorrow. Many regrets and one does not want to go to sleep. Too many paranoid thoughts.

sleepie

Deliza are you drinking now?

Jsbodhi, how about you print up what you wrote there, and just take a minute- promise yourself a full minute to look it over the next time you feel a drink coming on? Keep it in your wallet.

Jsbodhi

You can do it Deliza- we're here for day 1 xx

That's a good suggestion sleepie.
That's actually the first time I made the list

sleepie

That's right and you can do it too jsbodhi

Delizadee

No I'm done now. I'm just putting off going to bed. Better to stress about tomorrow tonight then to deal with it tomorrow. Tomorrow is for procrastination.

That's my first list too. Going into the recovery binder.
I wonder if having a funeral would finalize the death of this awful relationship? Hm.

sleepie

A funeral- that actually sounds like a great idea Deliza!

kittycat3

I like that idea too Delizadee. Tell me more about how you'd do that. Might help me to ceremoniously end relationship with alcohol.

I just moved my car from the front into the garage. Now I'm back in bed. I'm already scared to go to work tomorrow. Ugh. These terrors I get from drinking are something awful. I've crippled myself. I know on some level why, I'm not happy with being single and not having kids at 38, and worried I'll never find a partner and retire alone. Sounds fatalistic I'm sure but it's what goes through my head.

JS I had an ex video me in a blackout too, it was horrid to watch.

Day 2.....praying this is my last day 2 ever.

kittycat3

Cow I hope you check in. It's your day 2 as well right? If so then we are sober twins

trachemys

Kittycat, there will always be The Crone Hotel.

It's where we're all going later. I'm cooking.

Hawkeye13

Yep--we won't be alone in the Crone Hotel.
I am looking forward to your menus, Chef trachemys--

trachemys

I have a new recipe for pickled kohlrabi.

Obladi

If the position of pastry-maker hasn't been filled yet (hey, that's a pun!), I'd like to apply.

Hope that didn't break your rule, Cow.

Also hope you're sleeping a ton and drinking gallons of water? It gets better.

Cow

Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section 37B of the contract, it states quite clearly, and I quote: I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained, et cetera, et cetera... Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum, et cetera, et cetera... Memo bis punitor delicatum! It all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You mention tasty foods! You stole fizzy lifting drinks! You bump into ceiling which now has to be wash and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir! ...I SAID GOOD DAY!

It okay O and Trach, but I just please ask to not start talking of foods and beverages here. Please? I got issues in this area as well, and is on very depriving seizure diet, and I just does not have best willpower --as you maybe notice. That is why I stop going to Misfit Island thread, so maybe you can talk about you foodstuffs there.

Little Kittycat, yes, we can be sober buddy. I technically quit on 41516 (I like that number, it make good password) but yes, I at day 1.75. You keepa go.

And for all those who not able to stays sober yesterday, I know is bummer, but we here for you.

Well, I had another terrible night, no sleep, feel like crap, got lot of work to get done, just gonna try to keep on today.

Obladi

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maximus culpa.
I'm sorry, dear.

Sorry too that you're feeling like crap.

neferkamichael

Cow

OMG! We been bless by Ancient God of Roses! Blue very appropo I think. Has to be good sign, yes?

Sweet Lady O, no moo culpa is necessary. I total know you has only best wishes for me, and I you. I just trying to speak up more to my needs. Everybody has tell me I need to asks for help more. All my life is very, very hard for me to do. So is good for me to exercise this muscle little bit. Thank you for be so understanding.

trachemys

Sorry, Cow. We'll revisit victuals.

trachemys

That is one beautiful blue rose, Nefer.

Lenina

Hello to all.

I am sorry there is so much misery among us, I can only try and tell you what helped me.

Having a very strict schedule. Get up at same time everyday. If you can, get outside and walk in the daylight, it helps the brain reset,

Set ten minutes to make out a list of ten things you're grateful for,write by hand, I don't know why that works better than typing but it does. Do this same time every day. I prefer mornings. And then I have time to scout for new things to be grateful about.

Now here is Cow's bete noir,.....grooming. Show yourself some love. Use lotion and comb your hair. Wear decent, clean clothes. Be tidy with your person, look good, feel better sort of thing.

Make your bed. Not making it seems to be an alcoholic thing. So make the damn bed. And fresh sheets once a week. Tidy up your home. You deserve to live nicely.

At bedtime, set aside ten minutes to review your actions, what went well, what could be better. What needs work. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

Being sober takes effort, It's more than abstaining.

It took me some time to find contentment in sobriety, I have to work it. Every Day.

I think part of the disease is the agitation of the Lizard Brain, Sloth Woman, or Beast. It wants to be fed. So it makes us feel discontent.

Do a good deed daily, something you can do without praise.

I will check in later. I'm on the road at the moment, I'll be back.

Love to you all from Lenina.

PS. Some woo woo for the Moo Moo. The planets are hard right now. Mars retrograde makes for agression and short fuses. Let it ride. bad boy Mercury is retrograde, pay attention ! Double check appointments, electronics, and careful with messages. Also more stuff with Pluto and such.