Back at it
 

Back at it again, day 1. Feel so bad, I want to tell my family but I'm embarassed. I don't get how they didn't realize I was drunk all week.

tans, your family could be in denial. Or you can hide it very well. Drink lots of water. It will help a bit.

Well done for getting here Tans. Like Unlucky said, we're pretty good at hiding it.

Do you have a plan for staying sober?

Dust yourself off and stay sober today.

Welcome back tans. I can pretty much guarantee you that your family did notice, they probably just didn't say anything about it. It's impossible to hide a week long binge...although our addiction would like us to think as such.

I'd suggest telling them how you feel - honesty to ourselves and those around is is key in moving forward.

My first step is not drinking to get rid of the shakes or feeling like I'm dying. I told my friend how much I drank this week so that's a first. I just can't be a casual drinker, I end up drinking to feel buzzed. I just can't handle it so I am going to tell my family I'm done with it forever. I know they know I can't handle my alcohol but they don't know I'm drinking beer in the morning to feel normal. After all that I want to go to a therapist and tell them how I feel about
My personal life and not go to a bottle.

You are right, I'm sure they noticed I was out of it. I am only lying to myself.

It was so hard not drinking this morning, I just want to feel normal. I don't think I've been this bad so it's only getting worse.

Withdrawals can get worse each time. Please be safe and seek help if you need to.

have you got a plan my friend

Stock up on loads of biscuits/chocolate. You'll be craving sugar for a day or two. Glad you're here.

Hi Tans,

I've been where you are. No matter how good you think you are at hiding it, I can promise that not as much is hidden as you think. We're great at rationalizing and convincing ourselves whatever we need to to keep things going.

Don't beat yourself up, and thanks for sharing here.

When I quit I didn't tell my family for a while. I think I waited almost 3 months.

I guess I wanted to make sure I could do it first.

It was very hard the first month. Pretty sure I was developing pancreatic issues.

When I quit I was exhausted all the time. I would sleep for 10 hours a day.

I could barely stand sometimes because of the anxiety.

I needed to quit because I was going to drink myself to death or worse...e.g. massive paralyzING stroke that left me bed ridden unable to care for myself.

Alcohol is poison. We are addicts. Just like crack heads. There is nothing cool about drinking. Don't believe the hype.

Get clean. Stay clean. Make a new sober life.

Tans, I'm so glad you came here to talk about what's going on. You're in good company - we all understand & want to help. You're going to heal & have a great new life.

Thanks for the support, I really need it. I am an addict and I just can't handle feeling like this anymore. I'm so happy I didn't drink this morning! I didn't drink for 2 months and I felt so good. I thought of course I can handle one night of drinking .. 1 week later I know I can't handle one drink.

You know, I couldn't even begin to count the number of times I've looked back on a day when I drank and thought, "Man, if only I hadn't done that...I knew better, and I did it anyway." Or worse, looked back and not been able to remember the day. Ugh, what a disgusting, shameful feeling

NOT ONCE have I EVER looked back on a sober day and thought, "Man, why didn't I drink that day? What a wasted opportunity for a drunkfest!" I have never, for a second, regretted choosing not to drink. In fact, it's been quite the opposite. I have looked back on times when I had the chance to drink and chose not to and breathed a sigh of relief and thought, "Wow. That could have turned out so much differently. I am so glad that I was able to get through that without drinking."

Even when I'm feeling depressed or sad or frustrated, it's better than being depressed AND DRUNK, or sad AND DRUNK, or frustrated AND DRUNK. Bad days are still bad days, but they would be so much worse if I added alcohol to the mix. It took me a really long time to learn to accept that, but it's the truth.

My best advice is get some good nutrition (especially some B vitamins) and get some exercise. Its not a magic pill by any means, but some serious exercise can work wonders if you are up to it-getting the blood moving, more oxygen in your body, endorphins, and maybe some goals to work towards.

If you arent up to it now then think about it for later. It can make you feel a lot better. Ive done it countless times both ways...the sober way is better. You could also make goals to read books, or whatever else. Its a far better feeling to wake up early, hangover free, with some goals you want to accomplish that day...and knowing that you went to bed sober having been productive the day before.

polaris is absolutely correct Tans. I'm a firm believer in making a plan or schedule of activities to stay busy and to feel like your progressing. I could go on and on about the benefits of excersizing (sp), but it's a big part of my recovery. It really makes a difference with both anxiety and depression. Slowly build on your list of things to stay busy. Believe me, pretty soon your days will be pretty full and you won't have much time to think about drinking. And it gives you reasons to stay sober. And you begin to understand what normal actually feels like. Take care, John

If you need help with making a recovery plan Tans - this is a great link:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

Tans, I didn't tell anyone for weeks, or months. BUT, I told myself from the beginning, and continue to tell myself daily, I AM DONE, NO MORE, TO HELL WITH ALCOHOL!! And I go to AA, journal, meditate, read the Big Book every day. Sobriety is worth WHATEVER it takes. Keep coming here, as often as you need to. Introspectator