Bluesman1952

I've been on and off these boards for a long time. Still drinking. Worked with my Dr. and he gave me Klonopin to help me quit drinking, but I drank anyway, and now addicted to both. 64 years old and not in a good place right now. Can't go to a rehab, and I am just asking what I should try to quit first? Use the Klonopin to quit the drink and then taper off the Klonopin, or the other way around. I know there are no doctors here so I am looking for personal experiences.
Thanks!

Sudz No More

You know they'll say it's medical advice so I can't really say but personal opinion. I would stop the klonopin first and then taper down. Now I know all the pundits will come out and nay say that advice but that would work for me. I tapered the first time I tried and it helped and I would never trust another drug to stop a drug. You are used to using the alcohol first so I would rely on that crutch to get off the klonopin first. I am sure there are many that will disagree but that is how I see it.

Dee74

I'm sorry to hear the problems getting worse Bluesman.

Benzo addiction is bad news and I'll give you The same advice I give everyone else - go see your Dr.

If he doesn't know too much, find another doctor. Lay both your addictions on the table.

I actually think that you should reconsider rehab. Sounds like it's time for some sizeable, if not drastic effort?

D

Bluesman1952

I am going to discuss this with my Dr., but just wanted to hear some personal experiences. I agree with you. It's the booze that is making me sick and tired, not the benzo - I suffer from anxiety as well, and if I had to stay on the benzo forever I would, but it seems to MAKE me want to drink. This is a tough one but I am sure you've heard these stories over and over again. Thanks for the responses

Bluesman1952

Dee,
The reason why I can't do rehab is because my daughter relies on me to watch her 2 year old son, my grandson. Imagine the pain I am going through having to deal with a kid and also try and quit drinking? If I go away, she loses her job. Day care is not affordable, so I guess they rather lose me than their job? Sad!

Dee74

I'm not invested in whether you got to rehab or not Bluesman - just throwing out suggestions .

I just think you need to accept that you need to do more tho cos what you've been doing is not only not working, but things are getting worse.

I'm assuming you're not drinking when you're minding the kid, so why not go to AA or something when his Mom is around instead of drinking?

D

Vinificent

It is so admirable that you are putting your family's needs before your own, but as they say on the airplane - make sure your own oxygen mask is adjusted and functioning before assisting others.

Don't know where in the world you are, but the US has family leave laws that can protect your daughter's job. Do some research on that, as well as what rehab options you have, so you can formulate a solid plan for recovery.

You are strong enough to identify your illness and you are strong enough to stick to your plan 💪

ALinNS

Get people in your life either through AA or another program that have been through what you are experiencing. I used to think I could never quit, I have met so many people over the years that had stories similar or far worse than mine who have/had long periods of sobriety, I found it inspiring as anyone can quit, the question is always do you want to and will you go to all lengths to get sober. After all when we drink most of us would go to all lengths to get our booze, I know I certainly have.

Bluesman1952

I don't drink around the baby and I don't get cravings till he goes home and my nerves are shot - He has other grandparents that can watch him, but they don't. This kid's dad killed himself in my house and in front of me and my wife, and I got stuck with the baby sitting job. He is my grandson, I love him, but I shouldn't be burdened with this. Alkies are good at making excuses, and AA is out of the question because I have this kid from 8 AM till 7 PM, then I cook for my family and go to bed drunk. I am lost

Dee74

Well the bottom line is something has to give man - and unfortunately something will unless you do something about this now.

If you really can't do anything else, you'll just have to stop buying booze and get sober that way.

It's not fun, but I did it.

If the benzoes are a problem as well you'll need professional advice there unless you want the withdrawal from hell.

D

Bluesman1952

My daughter is already on FMLA and is protected, but she won't get paid because she has taken so much time off to deal with her own problem when her BF killed himself. No pay, means she can't pay her bills, etc. I shouldn't have said she would lose her job, but I didn't want to get into the BF suicide thing. That's why I am here. To get ideas. I don't want to die. I was getting better, but after seeing my future son in law kill himself, that is forever etched in my mind. 45 caliber to the head, in my house, and I have to live here. So - tough road ahead.

Bluesman1952

What I don't understand is, after I have my first beer, I am sicker and feel worse than before I had it, but keep going to
"ease the pain". Sound dumb? I am educated, smart, love life, but I do feel this baby sitting thing is making life worse and I have no out!

Bluesman1952

I know people on benzos that will be on them for life and the don't abuse. Maybe 2 mg klonopin daily and they stay off alcohol. Like I said though, with the stresses of this kid, after he leaves, instead of a pill I reach for the beer. I told my wife maybe we can go on an alcohol free retreat. They have places where people just sit and read and communicate, but no booze on premises. If I can get just ONE day sobriety in me, I would see how good it felt. Maybe that's a plan?

ALinNS

I learned long ago Alcohol does not respect person, education or position in life, I too am highly educated and have met many in Detox that were as well, it will not stop until it has your life, if you do a little research there are many studies that prove this. I found sober people in my life that have been down the road and now have a period of sobriety a life saving resource as I can reach out to them before I pick up that first one which in my case led to a road of hurt and destruction.

Wishing you the best

Andrew

Bluesman1952

Nice post, informative...Thanks!

Berrybean

Can your wife stop going out and buying that booze. (Presuming you're not getting it because all you do it babysit and cook all day)

Tip it away and don't get any more in the house. If you have time to get to the shops you have time to get to a meeting. IF YOU WANT TO.

JeffreyAK

We all start with Day 1, but don't be disappointed if you don't feel good, you feel awful instead. Depends how far down the hole you are, I have no idea, but recovery from alcohol addiction can take a long time, and the first few days especially can be very challenging. However, you say you're also addicted to benzos, so stopping alcohol by itself may not be so difficult for you. Stopping the benzos after that, well, you'll have to talk to a doctor - benzo withdrawal can be hell, but maybe one step at a time?

zjw

check out some of sleepies posts shes been dealt a pretty crap deck of cards in this life as well and quit booze and benzo's etc.. its like sometimes theres no clear cut solution but to charge on forward and see where it takes you.

cant change certain things in your life they are the way they are but you can work on other things etc..

Dave42001

Look into a support group and go to a meeting, there are many different flavors out there. I go to AA and it keeps me sober and cost $2 a meeting. Support groups are an essential part of recovery and are proven and very inexpensive, find one that works for you!

I'm glad you're reaching out, you can do this, get a solid plan together and do it. Wishing you the best!! Make it happen!

ScottFromWI

At some point Bluesman, you have to simply put your foot down and make it known that you need help. You have given us quite a laundry list of things you cannot do or will not do - you need to start thinking of what you CAN and WILL do to quit. If babysitting isn't working out, you need to tell your daughter that. She can and will find someone else for part of the time if you need time to seek help for yourself.

Bottom line, you have to take action.