sleepie

My tests are this morning.

Soberwolf

I see it's 3 days if I remember and I know this is a stressful time so il say if I can do anything let me know - remember how stronger your sobriety will be getting through this x

sleepie

Still not sleeping. How am I supposed to test for 5 hours on maybe 3 hours sleep at best? This sucks. I have zero emotional support IRL. And now I am officially a basket case.

sleepie

I had a feeling this was going to happen. I have been kind of going nuts, quietly to myself at home because other than you guys there's nobody to talk to. I tried to tell one person who has known me for a long time and they made a joke. This is too much to deal with having nobody in my life to talk to, You guys are great and I appreciate everything you have done for me but a person needs real life support too . I feel crappy saying that but it's the truth, I needed someone to talk to these past few weeks, I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. I gave up on seeking any emotional support from bf. He is a nice guy but that isn't really something he does.

Fabela

I totally get it, Sleepie. It sucks when you have nobody to talk to face to face. Could you see your doctor briefly, to get things off your chest? Or a therapist of any kind?

sleepie

That would cost more money. I don't know what the dr would do, he is testing me. I am so upset that my bf couldn't muster just a tiny little fraction of something, he knows I've not been doing well... but then I was slipping in to depression and suicidal thoughts and he told me he thought everything was just fine even though I hadn't gotten out of bed for more than a quick errand a couple times.

Obladi

Sleepie, I'm sending good mojo your way today.

Fortunately the last few weeks are over and you have a chance to start from today. I didn't say start "fresh," I know that can't be done right now, but just saying once that appointment is over it's a new beginning of some sort.

That's meant to be supportive and understanding at the same time.
Hope it comes across that way.

sleepie

I am going to test at an IQ of 11. I got 90 non consecutive minutes of sleep. I've been a basket case over this for weeks now.

Hawkeye13

(((((((((((((sleepie)))))))))))))

2ndhandrose

sleepie , I hear you about the IRL support. It is lonely not having anyone to speak face to face with when you are so troubled. My husband is lousy with the emotional support so I do know how that feels, to have a loved one right in front of you yet he can't see the pain you are in.

I wish I could give you a IRL hug

Fabela

Thinking of you, Sleepie.

Dropsie

Sleeps,

Please do your best to get thru this, and then see.

I know you feel like all the odds are stacked against you once again, and that is fair, but try not to go there.

Do the test as best as you can, cause we know you can even when you don't.

And we love you even when you don't.

XXX

Jsbodhi

You'll be ok sleepie- you go off adenaline- I had zero sleep the night before an exam, it was at 8 am.
I still did well.
Hopefully your nerves will pull you through xoxo

sleepie

Well, I flubbed it. No sleep, failed to eat breakfast, lasted 2 hours. So now I have to go back in another 3 weeks. I am beyond, beyond upset.

zjw

eeeps hang in there sleepie.

sleepie

I was almost in tears, I was exhausted and I know I would have done better on at least one part where I was practically falling asleep. I hated the whole thing too, I felt like an idiot fumbling around and unsuccessfully attempting to make shapes with these plastic puzzles. I so wanted to get this done and over and ALL I NEEDED was a little damn support from the bf but it seems he has not one small particle in his entire being that is willing to do such a thing.

sleepie

2ndhandrose

(((sleepie)))

Dropsie

We love you girl -- but try not to be too too hard on the BF.

You have said so many times how much you know he loves you, and love is not easy to find...

And boys be boys, not the highpoint in the emotional support department, but can have other upsides.

XXXXXXXXXX

sleepie

It's very hard on me! I can't take it anymore. Maybe back to double X. I'm about to have a dalliance.