My best years are behind me.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Originally Posted by leviathan 
Don't know how old you are, but I can relate. I have had these feelings.
There's other ways to think about this though. Some questions: is the answer to wasted time more wasted time? Is your employment the only way to measure your usefulness? Is it possible to have good days and years when your history isnt that good?
Speaking from my own experience, I've found there is joy and things to be grateful for all around me, pretty much all the time. Paying attention helps.
Please don't give up. Open your mind to the possibility that the peace and happiness you deserve may not look exactly like you think it should. Practice (or pretend) optimism.
Reconsider.
There's other ways to think about this though. Some questions: is the answer to wasted time more wasted time? Is your employment the only way to measure your usefulness? Is it possible to have good days and years when your history isnt that good?
Speaking from my own experience, I've found there is joy and things to be grateful for all around me, pretty much all the time. Paying attention helps.
Please don't give up. Open your mind to the possibility that the peace and happiness you deserve may not look exactly like you think it should. Practice (or pretend) optimism.
Reconsider.
xx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,225
one thing that keeps me from drinking again is the panic attacks. I do ponder myself tho if not for them would i go back to it? I dunno i guess things would have to really wear me down. but then theres hangovers and being broke and obsessing about how many are left. and empties all over the place and waking up half dead and the dry mouth each morning. getting so drunk wondering if i'll wake up the next morning waking up wanting to die
etc... etc.. etc..
I dunno I just dunno that i'd wanna go back to all that.
etc... etc.. etc..
I dunno I just dunno that i'd wanna go back to all that.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: south texas
Posts: 152
I thank everyone here with all the heart felt comments , , my doctor say he can no longer write scripts for hydrocodone 10.0 which kept my Rheumatoid arthritis pain to a quiet screaming roar ::B/C the drug has been reclassified sch. 3 to sch 2,, I'm self medicating my dumbass again , if I shake this or a miracle cure comes along A wheel chair is my home Cheers, bullmas
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,536
RA sucks! I have a family member with it and was getting worse and worse.. She decided to go the natural route with a lot of success. She was afraid of the meds as they made her feel like a zombie and she only saw more meds on the horizon. Please check out other options. I am seriously so proud of her and her strides to living a healthy, active life without the prescriptions. As Dee said, there are alternatives, and there are Doctors who get it and willing to work with folks in bad financial/insurance situations.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 50
I am in almost the same situation. No job, no insurance and unemployment ran out long ago. Except that I haven't used Rx for my ra. Alcohol made my pain much worse and my stomach was so effed up I could not take aspirin. Now I have been managing it with MSM and aspirin.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 50
"This kinda sounds like a quick cop out .Sorry I'm old ,& unemployed , Can't get any insurance at all ' can't get A job, after 2 years and once again can't get any satisfaction at all ..except a 12 pack of beer. good luck you guys&girls . Take care. Bullmas"
bullmas I logged on to post the above. I read this before when you 1st posted it and saw it again.
I had a really bad day and was thinking of resetting my clock today. Some days are just so ****** I wonder what's that point of being sober.
I've been interviewing forever and just got an almost instant rejection after one I had yesterday.
The interviewer almost gave it away as we were talking but waited a day. Sometimes I can see it in their faces, sometimes they don't bother to hide it and sometimes they are outright rude.
I am doing temp work and walked outside to a bathroom 2 blocks away to cry when I got the email so no one would walk in on me.
I keep on thinking I am closer to the grave than anything else. But not close enough.
So I went to a meeting. I hadn't been to that one before. Everyone was really young.
And I am working on my pain. I have to remember to stretch and take aspirin and msm. I buy it in bulk and mix it with other supplements (inositol, l-glutamine and dmae) in water. Though I think the aspirin does the most good they do work best for me together.
bullmas I logged on to post the above. I read this before when you 1st posted it and saw it again.
I had a really bad day and was thinking of resetting my clock today. Some days are just so ****** I wonder what's that point of being sober.
I've been interviewing forever and just got an almost instant rejection after one I had yesterday.
The interviewer almost gave it away as we were talking but waited a day. Sometimes I can see it in their faces, sometimes they don't bother to hide it and sometimes they are outright rude.
I am doing temp work and walked outside to a bathroom 2 blocks away to cry when I got the email so no one would walk in on me.
I keep on thinking I am closer to the grave than anything else. But not close enough.
So I went to a meeting. I hadn't been to that one before. Everyone was really young.
And I am working on my pain. I have to remember to stretch and take aspirin and msm. I buy it in bulk and mix it with other supplements (inositol, l-glutamine and dmae) in water. Though I think the aspirin does the most good they do work best for me together.
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