Sober Warrior
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Sober Warrior
I saw a neuro psychologist today. He believesI have accurately self diagnosed my learning disability. Non verbal learning disability. We talked for an hour and I return next month for about 7 hours of testing to see where I am at today. He also believes I am ADHD.
It took a lot of blind courage to walk into that office and talk to him, childhood IQ tests in hand.
I am doing this thing I said I would do. At only 3 months sober and free of benzos.
I feel pretty good about myself today. I am a survivor.
Living with and successfully self diagnosing an undiagnosed learning disability, surviving an abusive upbringing, job loss, home loss, addiction, and a single suicide attempt only after all of those things took place... I am ready to get what's mine. Maybe I'm too stupid to die.
Works for me.
I am a sober warrior. I am fighting this fight. I didn't choose this, it chose me, and I am not taking it lightly. I was set up to fail, with this faulty grey matter and abusive early life. But I haven't entirely failed yet, have I?
I cannot wait to see where this goes.
It took a lot of blind courage to walk into that office and talk to him, childhood IQ tests in hand.
I am doing this thing I said I would do. At only 3 months sober and free of benzos.
I feel pretty good about myself today. I am a survivor.
Living with and successfully self diagnosing an undiagnosed learning disability, surviving an abusive upbringing, job loss, home loss, addiction, and a single suicide attempt only after all of those things took place... I am ready to get what's mine. Maybe I'm too stupid to die.
Works for me.
I am a sober warrior. I am fighting this fight. I didn't choose this, it chose me, and I am not taking it lightly. I was set up to fail, with this faulty grey matter and abusive early life. But I haven't entirely failed yet, have I?
I cannot wait to see where this goes.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by sleepie 
I was set up to fail, with this faulty grey matter and abusive early life. But I haven't entirely failed yet, have I?
I don't think you were set to fail - yes you had a lot of adversity but you are already proving that you have the ability to succeed at many things. Quite the contrary actually..you've accomplished a lot in the last 90 days for certain.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
yeah nothing hits harder then life all you can do is GTF back up and keep on going what other choice do you have. It just is how it is.
You've done well and you really are right on with this post you gotta look at the odds stacked against you and pay attention to how far you've come and how well you've done. despite the odds your still here your still swinging.
Good job i say
You've done well and you really are right on with this post you gotta look at the odds stacked against you and pay attention to how far you've come and how well you've done. despite the odds your still here your still swinging.
Good job i say
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Thanks guys.
Right now I am very thankful for those that have treated me right in life and also for those who have been so supportive of me here. I never would have been able to get sober and go forward with this without my SR friends.
I am also very angry at those who mistreated me in life. Shame one them. Painting me as a "negative nancy" or lying to me and misleading me- taking advantage of me.
Oh, I have been duped and trash talked.
Taking advantage of someone with a disability? Sick and wrong. That's on them, not me. And I wouldn't accept 20 more IQ points to be in their shoes because frankly I'd rather be a decent person, and I am that.
Right now I am very thankful for those that have treated me right in life and also for those who have been so supportive of me here. I never would have been able to get sober and go forward with this without my SR friends.
I am also very angry at those who mistreated me in life. Shame one them. Painting me as a "negative nancy" or lying to me and misleading me- taking advantage of me.
Oh, I have been duped and trash talked.
Taking advantage of someone with a disability? Sick and wrong. That's on them, not me. And I wouldn't accept 20 more IQ points to be in their shoes because frankly I'd rather be a decent person, and I am that.
You are a sober warrior. 
You don't give up. Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Originally Posted by sleepie
Thanks guys.
Right now I am very thankful for those that have treated me right in life and also for those who have been so supportive of me here. I never would have been able to get sober and go forward with this without my SR friends.
I am also very angry at those who mistreated me in life. Shame one them. Painting me as a "negative nancy" or lying to me and misleading me- taking advantage of me.
Oh, I have been duped and trash talked.
Taking advantage of someone with a disability? Sick and wrong. That's on them, not me. And I wouldn't accept 20 more IQ points to be in their shoes because frankly I'd rather be a decent person, and I am that.
Right now I am very thankful for those that have treated me right in life and also for those who have been so supportive of me here. I never would have been able to get sober and go forward with this without my SR friends.
I am also very angry at those who mistreated me in life. Shame one them. Painting me as a "negative nancy" or lying to me and misleading me- taking advantage of me.
Oh, I have been duped and trash talked.
Taking advantage of someone with a disability? Sick and wrong. That's on them, not me. And I wouldn't accept 20 more IQ points to be in their shoes because frankly I'd rather be a decent person, and I am that.
Its annoying too your just trying to go your way and theres always someone gonna tell you your wrong or you should do it this way or they dont like you or whatever it is. and you know what? Its YOUR WAY and theres nothing wrong with your way. They got there way you got yours.
always gonna be someone better and always gonna be someone worse etc.. its all just how it is.
took me forever to figure all that out i'm still figureing it out lol.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Sleepie, I'm so glad for this vindication or validation or whatever v word you choose - seems like they are all good and strong. those v words.
What a fantastic twist on your week of worry!
What a fantastic twist on your week of worry!
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Originally Posted by sleepie
I seriously feel like I just "Leveled Up".
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
another sleepie quote I like from way back
“I'm not Ghandi, Buddha, or Mother Teresa. I'm just a normal, twitchy dissatisfied human being.” --sleepie
figured I'd add some other good quotes.
"Sometimes we are interpreting something as a tragedy and it's an act of grace" -mooji
"Your situation
Your situation does not define you. In fact, your situation does not really even limit you.
You can transcend any situation with purposeful, focused action. You can choose to change things, to grow, to improve, to create, to prosper and to live with maximum joy and fulfillment.
Don’t get caught up in making judgments about whether it is easy or difficult, pleasant or uncomfortable. Just step forward and do what you know is best for your life and your world.
You are a living bundle of infinitely flexible energy. Instead of letting your circumstances bring you down, let your possibilities lift you up.
Grab the best of those possibilities and inject your authentic passion into them. Create something wonderful, again and again.
Instead of using your situation as an excuse, use it as a starting point. Connect with the unique beauty and immense value of who you are, and rise above any situation" --I cant remember where i got this one.
“Let go of your demands, along with your beliefs that you can't be happy because of what is supposedly missing in your life. Insisting that you need what you don't have is insane! The fact that you're okay without what you think you need is the change you want to see. Then you can note that you already have everything you need to be peaceful, happy, and content right here and right now!” -Wayne Dyer
“it doesnt get easier you just get better”--I think someone on the board wrote that one.
“I'm not Ghandi, Buddha, or Mother Teresa. I'm just a normal, twitchy dissatisfied human being.” --sleepie
figured I'd add some other good quotes.
"Sometimes we are interpreting something as a tragedy and it's an act of grace" -mooji
"Your situation
Your situation does not define you. In fact, your situation does not really even limit you.
You can transcend any situation with purposeful, focused action. You can choose to change things, to grow, to improve, to create, to prosper and to live with maximum joy and fulfillment.
Don’t get caught up in making judgments about whether it is easy or difficult, pleasant or uncomfortable. Just step forward and do what you know is best for your life and your world.
You are a living bundle of infinitely flexible energy. Instead of letting your circumstances bring you down, let your possibilities lift you up.
Grab the best of those possibilities and inject your authentic passion into them. Create something wonderful, again and again.
Instead of using your situation as an excuse, use it as a starting point. Connect with the unique beauty and immense value of who you are, and rise above any situation" --I cant remember where i got this one.
“Let go of your demands, along with your beliefs that you can't be happy because of what is supposedly missing in your life. Insisting that you need what you don't have is insane! The fact that you're okay without what you think you need is the change you want to see. Then you can note that you already have everything you need to be peaceful, happy, and content right here and right now!” -Wayne Dyer
“it doesnt get easier you just get better”--I think someone on the board wrote that one.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
DeeThanks guys. I can't explain the feeling, like maybe my life will do something for once, there may even be some helpful therapies or something, I hope anyway.
At any rate I won't be banging my head against walls anymore trying to do things I literally cannot.
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