Sober Warrior
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 102
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
You certainly have the "right" to be angry, but that doesn't mean it's a helpful emotion. Same thing with holding resentments against others who have wronged you - it doesn't hurt anyone except you to do so.
You are able to be happy quite often here on SR so I'm not exactly sure what to say about HOW you can put the anger aside at times, but you are certainly capable of it. It could be that you need to find a therapist that you feel comfortable with..It took me several tries to get there.
But the bottom line is that it has to start with you somewhere. Look at your first paragraph for example....instead of being mad about how much the testing cost, you could instead be grateful that your boyfriend has paid for it for you.
You are able to be happy quite often here on SR so I'm not exactly sure what to say about HOW you can put the anger aside at times, but you are certainly capable of it. It could be that you need to find a therapist that you feel comfortable with..It took me several tries to get there.
But the bottom line is that it has to start with you somewhere. Look at your first paragraph for example....instead of being mad about how much the testing cost, you could instead be grateful that your boyfriend has paid for it for you.
Carrying around anger and assigning blame is not helpful.
Why not let go of "what went wrong?"and adopt "what is going right?".
The past no longer exists.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Living with an undiagnosed disability is sheer hell and nothing short of it. Much of my life I have been baited, humiliated, invalidated and sometimes just outright called stupid- at school, at work, in life.
To tell someone with a disability that they simply need to be more positive, or focus on what is right is rather uninformed. It invalidates an entire lifetime of experiences, very few of which have been good- and it invalidates current experience. And, personally for me, it resembles the way I was treated growing up- being mercilessly teased and humiliated and then told to "smile". Or, as I have mentioned before- getting a beating from one of my parents and then told to be more cheerful.
Not everyone has what it takes to appreciate those who are different. I know it is simply beyond the scope of some to understand that a generic prescription to be more positive does not apply to all, even if it worked for them.
I thank my SR friends who care for me while I go through this, and those who have appreciated and supported me here because of what what makes me different, as opposed to simply tolerating or patronizing me.
To tell someone with a disability that they simply need to be more positive, or focus on what is right is rather uninformed. It invalidates an entire lifetime of experiences, very few of which have been good- and it invalidates current experience. And, personally for me, it resembles the way I was treated growing up- being mercilessly teased and humiliated and then told to "smile". Or, as I have mentioned before- getting a beating from one of my parents and then told to be more cheerful.
Not everyone has what it takes to appreciate those who are different. I know it is simply beyond the scope of some to understand that a generic prescription to be more positive does not apply to all, even if it worked for them.
I thank my SR friends who care for me while I go through this, and those who have appreciated and supported me here because of what what makes me different, as opposed to simply tolerating or patronizing me.
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