vulturine

Hi,

I've been an alcoholic for about 8 years (actively for about 5), but my boss found out I was drinking at work pretty much every day, so I'm on an indefinite sick leave until I can get sober. So far, I'm on day 7, and lurking on here was pretty helpful to get over my anxiety and hypochondria over the first few days. I've been on the internet pretty much freaking out over withdrawal symptoms and liver damage symptoms. The internet's great for some things, but for medical advice, not so much.

I noticed the palms of my hands were red the first day I was sober. I was curious about my red palms, so I consulted Dr. Google, and discovered it was one of the signs of late stage cirrhosis. I didn't have any other symptoms, but apparently people can have cirrhosis without knowing it. I kept on staring at my hands all day, in horror and disbelief.

I made a doctor's appointment, but I had to wait a full two days to see him. I was lamenting for those two days. I wondered what would happen to my dog if I died, I felt bad for my parents for bothering to have me, I wondered if I should just end my life immediately so I don't have to die in a hospital bed, all swollen up and barfing blood. Anyway, a lot of things go through your head when you're faced with the consequences of your actions. I was convinced I was doomed.

In two days, I went to the doctor, and confessed I had a huge drinking problem for quite some time. He checked me over and said my liver was enlarged. He couldn't tell at what stage I was at, so he ordered blood tests. Those tests are on hold for the long weekend.

My doctor ordered the standard ALT/AST, and GGT. Are liver enzyme levels enough to determine the stage of the disease? I was drinking heavily for years before my last liver test, and the results were normal. I told him I wanted to get that Fibroscan thing done, but he told me not to bother. He's almost 100 years old though, and quite set in his ways. Was the scan helpful to anyone on here?

Thanks a lot!

Coldfusion

Welcome, Vulturine!

I am not sure how helpful these scans are to sobriety, but what WAS helpful for me was reading and posting here often, and going to AA meetings.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Vulturine

If you don't trust your Dr or are still concerned, I think it's fine to get a second opinion.

The great likelihood for many of us is our liver repairs itself a great deal once we stop drinking so, even tho I know it's hard to wait, try not to worry too much.

I'm glad you found us

D

Delizadee

They can do biopsies and imaging scans. But your Dr has to order them.

The vast majority of us have done the exact same thing. If your Dr isn't worried then I wouldn't be either.
Part of the fear you are feeling is completely normal, and like Dee said most of us recover beautifully with little to no lasting damage.

Trust your Dr for now, try to work through all the anxiety and concentrate wholeheartedly on maintaining and strengthening your sobriety. AA meetings are a great place for support and to help you try to find some peace.

I am waiting until the 3 month mark to do any follow up testing. I am 6 weeks in almost, and I feel great
Compared to how I felt like I was dying for well over a year, I think my body recovery is doing as well as my mind.

Take care, be kind to you and good job on getting this far! It gets better

Soberwolf

Welcome to SR

advbike

How old are you? I doubt you have late stage cirrhosis.. but it is important to stop drinking or you will. As others have mentioned - the liver heals when the alcohol is stopped completely, and the anxiety you feel is very normal in early recovery.

Try to eat right, take a mild B complex vitamin, get plenty of water and some exercise, and let your body heal. Being off from work will allow you to take care of yourself for a little while.

And make a plan! Most of us cannot stay sober without a support plan. Like posting and reading here, going to AA meetings, etc. Good job on 7 days!

Vinificent

It probably makes sense that you would have some sort of symptoms that mimic cirrhosis, as your liver works harder than normal to remove the toxins and heal.

Look on the positive side - you are healing, and even though your anxiety is difficult to deal with, it's likely your fear has kept you from drinking. Bottom line is the longer you don't drink, the easier it is to stay sober. Once you get your results and your mind is put at ease you will already have sober time under your belt 💪

vulturine

I think one of the reasons my self-awareness was so high, was because my inquiry into the red palms phenomenon led me to a support group for those dealing with ALD. It was quite depressing to read about people going through so much fear, loss, pain, frustration etc., in one place.

Vinificent, you make a good point!

Hevyn

Vulturine - I'm glad you're here.

I was the same way when I first got sober - positive that I wasn't long for this world. I'd been drinking 30 yrs. & I was also drinking at work in the end. I had all sorts of withdrawal symptoms, but no lasting physical damage. You're only on Day 7 - there is still much healing to be done.

I've driven myself insane visiting Dr. Google. He has great hours, but isn't always reliable.

least

Let the doctor run the tests and determine the state of your health. Don't borrow trouble tho, just stay sober today and take care of yourself.

sugarbear1

Have you considered rehab?

Jsbodhi

Hi!
Oh yes, Dr. Google....
In my own head after I've consulted with the good doctor; I've had HIV, HepC, the bubonic plague, cirrhosis.......
Turns out it's been the stomach flu or simple fatigue

Anyway, welcome and best wishes on your sober journey! Xoxo

esinger

After being told I had fatty liver after a scan when I was forty. Kept drinking till I was almost fifty. This past year (3 years abstinent) I had scans done for another issue and my liver is good. Blood work is fine too. Not saying that you should abuse your body like I did but if you start taking care of it, it's healing capacity is remarkable. Just trust your doctor.

vulturine

Yes, I suggested it to my boss, and I told him I would go. He said to pick whatever place I like and stay as long as I need to, and he'd pay for it. Then I chickened out. After a week at home, I told him I had medical complications, so I needed to see a doctor and get some tests done. Then I booked a flight to Cuba.

Hawkeye13

You are incredibly lucky to have a boss and work situation
which would support you in getting in-patient rehab.

In my situation, I would have very likely just lost my job.
So I had to detox at home and stay sober figuring out the tools
as I went.

It worked, but I think you would be making a huge mistake
to not focus all your energy on getting sober and getting your
life back on track ASAP.

Is there rehab in Cuba, or were you just going for a holiday?

vulturine

Hawkeye13,

My boss hired me with the understanding that I have a severe mental illness, and that I am unlikely to be able to maintain a job in the regular workforce. He also said that it doesn't surprise him that I have concurrent substance abuse problems. He told me I could take as many days off as I need to continue my therapy, and has just been an outstanding human being in general.

My intention in going to Cuba is to do volunteer work there. It isn't exactly a holiday, but I've been down before, and the coordinator asked if I could make it again this year.

Jade1224

You are lucky to have an amazing boss.

I also drank at work and I ruined a good job that I had been with for almost three years. And it was embarrassing.

Oh well, we move on.

The anxiety is normal. I tried to diagnose myself with all kinds of things! But after being sober for a few days, I feel fine, and happy and stress free. The body can repair itself, just be super grateful you stopped drinking now and this can all be turned around!

Good luck!