xxxxx

I am definitley an alcoholic, and i'm tired of it. Only thing is, minus the the symptoms that are inherent in alcoholism (in my case insomnia and anxiety are the ones that suck the most) my drinking hasn't resulted in any serious consequences. I've been drinking every night for a couple of years, haven't lost a job yet. Grades couldn't be better, just got accepted into law school, no legal problems to speak of. Rather than ruining my life alcoholism has just plain tuckered me out, I'm tired of the anxiety, tired of the insomnia, don't especially want to fry my hippocampus... guess what I'm asking, is whether anyone here was able to quit before their lives went to ****?

beaglenut

Well, I'm only on day 5, but I never hit rock bottom. Drank for 5 years and was a fully functioning person. Never drove while drunk, had no health issues, marriage was fine, etc. But I realized last week that I wanted to stop. And I feel better already!

splendra

Some people have low bottoms and end up loosing everything. Others have higher bottoms and don't have loose loose everything they have and the love and respect of their families before they decide to quit. It doesn't really matter how high or low your bottom is if it is a problem for you than maybe it is time to quit....

2dayzmuse

No. :blackeye:

splendra

Oh by the way I was not in the gutter when I decided to quit but, I was emotionaly bankrupt and headed for the zoo!!!!! lol

ted

YES XXXXX,LIKE SPLENDRA SAID EMOTIONALLY BANKRUPT.
THAT I THINK IS THE WORSE KIND OF BOTTOM.
I HAVE LOST PLENTY FROM MY DRINKING MORE THAN ONCE.
BUT I HAVE TO LIVE WITH MYSELF,NOT EASY WHEN I COULN'T STAND MYSELF.
YOUR FOTUNATE REALLY,YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO THE WHOLE WAY DOWN!!!
HANG TOUGH X......ted

Dan

Everyone's definition of losing it all is different.
For some, I imagine death would be it. For others, a spousal separation, a lost job, etc...
What matters really is how you feel about your life at this moment.
Are you enjoying the drink like you used to?
Are some aspects of your life becoming hard to manage?
I went pretty deep, but I wouldn't say I lost it all. What counts is that I decided I had enough.
And you can too.
Glad you're here.

findingout

I think anyone who quits before it kills them, 'cause that is where the train goes, has quit before their final bottom. Myself, I needed to have things get quite bad, including having to drink every morning before I could go into work . I was shaking so bad that if I went in without drinking everyone would know I was an alcoholic (yes I can see that doesn't make any sense today). A DUI didn't phase me, having my sister in the hospital ready to die from liver failure didn't phase me, and having run into my house backing out of the driveway with every single car I owned (plus a rental car I only had for four days) didn't phase me. In fact, I'd still be drinking if my company hadn't said get your ass into treatment or you don't work here any longer, and backed up the threat with some help by finding a treatment center for me and making sure that I had actually called.

The hard part for me, and for others I've heard at tables, was remembering why I stopped drinking once things started to get better. Maybe that is why it takes such pain for many of us to stop for good (one day at a time.) Now that I have my life back, my ego and my disease keep teaming up to tell me I'm the different one. I'm the one who can go back out and it won't be bad this time. Don't worry, the evil team says, you just let it get a little out of hand and that can't happen again. WRONG, evil team, it's guaranteed to happen again.

Bottom line is that I cannot have all the happiness and peace I am enjoying today and drink too. Some people can, I can't. I'm an alcoholic.

If you want to stop drinking, by all means, by any means, stop drinking. If you want help doing it, there's no place better than an A.A. table. I never met so many caring, thoughtful people in all the twenty five years I was in hell.

Good luck, Jah Bless.

Chy

Yup! but that was my bottom!

Digits101010

IMO there is no such thing as rock bottom, save for death. Our bottoms are individual and they are when we decide to stop digging. I was detoxed and rehabbed at 15 years old and was full on alcoholic at my parents' bottom, not mine. I needed 15 more years. In the meantime I'd graduate college top of my class, buy a car, a house...etc... Sound like a bottom we hear about?

We're in a material society and I seem to hear bottoms as they relate to physical losses but those four horsemen visited me every morning nevertheless. I was zig zagging my morals, hitting depths of despair with my view of the world, feeling hopeless, out of control, hanging on...and in the end became agoraphobic, suicidal and just plain psycho. I, too, was emotionally bankrupt. I kept thinking I could lick it if I just tried well enough and hence, why I didn't reach my personal bottom long before.

I am continually astounded at the people I see who are able to get sober in their early to mid 20's. I have not known but maybe two personally and I know maybe 80 AA's who I could call by name. These are the people who - for whatever reason - didn't NEED to go out and conquer the alcoholism...But I am also a triple winner at this time [acoa/alanon, bulimarexic oa] and I had other issues that compounded my need to fight so long and hard. [Nevermind that defiancy and strongheadedness is a trademark in A's.]

So in a nutshell, your bottom is a personal thing...eyes on your own race...and it's when you decide to quit the digging. And when you do decide, help is available.

xxxxx

"emotionally bankrupt" that sounds about right. Recovery sounds pretty hellish, but I can't imagine that it's worse than a lifetime of what, in my case at least, pretty much amounted to insanity. so.... how long till I can sleep through a night without waking up every 90 minutes?

lulu70

Not long, X. And when you do finally begin to sleep well, it will be the best sleep you have had in a long while. Hang in there. My bottom was an emotional one as well. It's all a matter of surrendering to the fact that we cannot drink and/or use like "normal" people (if there is such a thing). Once we have fully surrendered, it immediately begins to get better.

Brookie

Hey XXXXX - Welcome, and glad you're here. I'm another that arrived before things looked too bad on the outside, although I can identify with the "emotionally bankrupt" idea very easily. Took me about most of a week to get my sleep patterns back on track this last time around.

Regarding the "recovery sounds pretty hellish" concern, just curious what your plan is? I knew I couldn't do it on my own, so I started attending A.A. There are many other alternatives, but I'm finding some pretty helpful tools in A.A. - highly recommend it. I've still got my ups and downs, but that's been a tremendous help for me.

All the best,
Joe

xxxxx

yeah, this is my first time around where I'm actually serious about never drinking alcohol again. I'm aware that the initial success rate isn't too high, but like they say, one day at a time right? I know AA is the best way to go, I'm sure it could probably help me, and I'm sure the stigma i associate with it is probably non-existent, that being said I just don't think meetings are for me. AA's a bit (way) too religious for me, and I really don't feel at all comfortable discussing my problem without the complete anonymity that comes with the internet. I'm going to give this at least one try on my own, if I fall on my ass, then I guess it will be time to re-evaluate my options. Nothing could be worse than continuing down the road I was headed. If I have to go to meetings, I'll go to meetings. didn't someone post on this board that alcoholics tend to be stubborn and heard-headed, I definitley fit that profile. While I am an alcoholic, I have only been drinking for 3 years, I'm hoping this gives me a better chance at straight cold turkey working. I'm not trying to be unrealistically optimistic, I've spent the last month on the internet reading everything I could about alcoholism (usually while drunk), trying to work up the nerve to give this a go. I know everyone who's been there says quitting by yourself is impossible, but I just had to give it a try at least once, and using a message board like this means I'm not 100% by myself.

chrisab

i'm new in here too and in the same boat with you. i've been drinking for 10 years and i've finally had enough. as with you, i'm going to attempt the first go-round by myself. unlike you, i'm going to count on massive help from God. either way, best of luck to you. wish me luck, as well! my last drink was yesterday afternoon and i'm sitting here with a healthy dose of the shakes already...oh well, here goes!

Brookie

Welcome Chris - I can point you to several good AA meetings here in the Bayou City if you don't already have a source. Here's a link to a search tool for meetings here as well: http://www.aahouston.org

Best,
Joe

jazpoppy

Hey;

I am a high bottom drunk too. I had a lower bottom with opiates, but a higher bottom with booze. Opiates put me into several rehab programs and a mental institution. Alcohol is just making me tired and sick. Noone realizes that I am a drunk, even my bf doesn't really think I am. I know I am. I have been drinking since 12 yrs old and only drink for the escape from reality and to tie one on! So I am with you on this.. prayers your way...

Don S

AA isn't the best or the worst way to go. It is one of several options; click on the 12-Step Resources link at the top of this page, then on 12-Step Alternatives. Secular alternatives include SOS and LifeRing; self-management options include SMART Recovery and Rational Recovery.

In my opinion the recovery program that will work best for you is one with which you share at least the basic philosophy about substance abuse, spirituality, etc.

No, it isn't impossible. In fact, the majority of people who quit drinking don't join any recovery group. You don't have to go to face-to-face meetings. There are online meetings, and forum boards like this were incredibly valuable to me. You've got lots of friends here!

Don S

chrisab

thanks don,
those are very encouraging words. so many posts i've read in here say its impossible to quit drinking without external help. while that may finally prove to be true with me, it's nice to hear that others have been able to do so. and support from these forums will be greatly appreciated...

bo03032

xxxxx-

after drinking for 20 years, i think am at a bottom. i started with therapy in january because of some other very intense and stressful issues in my life. in my case, i actually started drinking more, not less. now, i've decided to check myself into a residential program. i'm too worn out to have the confidence that i can quit myself. i too was at the top of my class, went to grad school and am now an executive. few at work would ever think i have a problem. my external family was surprised when i told them but they are now a source of strength. maybe they're in denial, but i feel more confident about this decision that any i've made in many years.

i also had issues with relying on a higher power. i joked that this wasn't about God, it was about Jack Daniels. we'll see how i progress. my first outreach was to a friend who has been sober for 3.5 years and i knew i could trust. he set me on the right path and i feel met somebody who had been a fraternity party buddy for years for the first time. see if you can find somebody to talk to. it really helped me. also, keep your mind open and see if you can take some time off before law school if you make a decision like i did.

good luck - and make a decision and look for help to support it.