silentrun

Hi SR people. I just read this and thought you might like it. I have never been questioned why I wasn't drinking. I have had friends ask me if I am still on "that no drinking kick". That stopped happening after a year though. I love the comments section on the article. This guy cracks me up:

Are you an alcoholic?"
Nope, but I know of a rehab you can go to get help for your problem...
"How long are you doing this sober thing?"
A lot longer than you'll ever be able to if you're asking me that question.
"So you're never drinking again?"
Nope. But seriously. I can get you some help.
"But don't you miss it?"
No. I'm calling the rehab for you right now.


10 Things Never to Say to Someone Who Isn't Drinking | LIVESTRONG.COM

SoberCAH

We nondrinkers have all the fun.

I got sober because I thought that alcoholism (mine, specifically) would cost me my career - not to have fun.

But my life is a lot of fun, mixed in with challenges, of course, but still a very rewarding existence.

I just no longer have to burn a village or sacrifice a virgin to have a good time.

talldude

Oh, you don't drink...

"What's a matter? Can't handle it?"

"Isn't that special. Are you trying to save the world too?"

"Yeah, I was thinkin of gettin all serious too but then I realized you only live once."

"Wow? Did you give up sex too?"

"Oh, you got a DWI or some court-ordered program to where you gotta get sober for a few months?"

"How long you gonna be on the wagon this time?"

SoberinSyracuse

Am I the odd woman out here? I don't hear these remarks.

Maybe nobody's saying them to me, or maybe it's these new Bose idiot-canceling headphones.

Jsbodhi

I just get a lot of " why?"

dwtbd

Other than with family in the very start of my quit , it hasn't been a topic of conversation , unless it's been the 'conversation' i.e. being with a person talking about sobriety.
I entertained the notion that it may come up in generic social situations and thought through how I may answer, but the opportunity never presented itself.
I've never asked those questions of others, and I doubt I will. Participate in a conversation about 'sobriety' ? sure if/when it presents itself, heck given my mood and estimation I'd most likely even 'share', but honestly IRL I doubt it will happen , much.
Different story here, on SR, heck I'll even butt in to give my two cents

silentrun

I hope those thing weren't said to you. My friends just wanted me to continue to drink with them. They never put me down like that.

mm222

No one ever says much to me about it. Maybe because everyone who knows me already knows-from their own experience!-that I shouldn't be drinking! 😝

FLCamper

No one ever questions me either. But, I don't go to bars or places where heavy drinking is going on.

zlhzlh

"I've got some gin I can put in your lemonade, just to make it a bit more interesting"

red3215

I think most people know alcoholics can't ever drink but if you prefer not to tell certain people you have a serious problem, they'll really push you to drink. Usually the ones who really push seem to have some kind of drinking problem themselves.

I especially hate the way some of them ignore your wish to stay sober all night and buy a drink then place it in front of you. I came close to slipping a few times when that happened.

Fitcher

Said to me in front of my entire extended family by a family member with whom I was used to tipping the bottle, "Who would like to have a drink with me, because frankly, Fitcher has now become completely worthless".

Not one family member uttered a word in my defense. It was my last family reunion.

talldude

Silentrun, some of those have been said to me in my times of sobriety, some of them I have heard thrown at other people, and some of them I have used during the drunk days on those trying to go sober.

There was a time when I was the jerk who needed to know why you quit drinking or why you quit doing drugs. I am proud to say that that judgmental part of me is gone...

zjw

one that gets me is some of the old stories. like not everyone finds it hysterical to hear that while drunk I pisssed on the floor and the tv etc... certainly not my wife. and you know a lot of this was like some drunken badge of honor i happily earned at one time and now I think about it and from one perspective I can still laugh at the insanity and stupidity and from another IE if i'm in some non alcoholics shoes i can think good god what was wrong with me!! and then from yet another perspective i can think christ thank god i'm still alive. and if i where to see someone else do this I'd have compassion and sympathy etc..

talldude

Well said, ZJW. One thing I'm not into is telling war stories. I don't need to hear them nor share them. I know I'm an addict; the important thing is to just move on with the recovery process and let sleeping dogs lie.

Whodathunk

I was at a college reunion. I knew my old room mates sober but we never had talked about it. I just knew he had stopped drinking. We were all at a bar and he ordered a non-alcoholic beer. I did also. A drinking friend said "Oh no, not you too...."

My next door neighbors know I quit drinking. I finally had to drop out of their annual guys golf outing which was where I last relapsed. He wanted to know why I REALLY was not going. I said "I just can't drink, and I don't have fun with everyone else drinking and looking at me like I am a fifth wheel." He says "Oh, so you are an alcoholic. I have friends like you..."

Wow. Thanks neighbor. Maybe this is why I am so private about my not drinking.

Timmy1028

I don't hear it much either. Then again I'm 42. I get questioned sometimes for my old high school and college buddies who I did a lot of drinking weather, but no one else. No one around me seems to care that much anymore.