Moderation Management
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by zenchaser 
Me three.
I'm better off to have none than to try to moderate. In fact I've never truly tried to moderate, after all I'm a grown woman, either I drink like I really want to or I don't pick it up at all because it is extremely uncomfortable for me to start and not be able to go the whole way.
I prefer my life without it..... the hangovers were getting worse and worse. I like being sober better too! I like feeling healthy and present.
I'm better off to have none than to try to moderate. In fact I've never truly tried to moderate, after all I'm a grown woman, either I drink like I really want to or I don't pick it up at all because it is extremely uncomfortable for me to start and not be able to go the whole way.
I prefer my life without it..... the hangovers were getting worse and worse. I like being sober better too! I like feeling healthy and present.
Could've written this myself!
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Noelle, if the Wikipedia moderation management page is correct, she did not "denounce moderation management" but instead was "continuing to support MM for others". The Wikipedia page states she had posted on the MM site that she "would begin attending" AA SMART and women for sobriety meetings.
IF she attended any AA, it would seem that she did so only for a very brief period of time before the fatal crash. Here is the Wikipedia quote.
"In January 2000 Kishline posted a message to an official MM email list stating that she had concluded her best drinking goal was abstinence and that she would begin attending Alcoholics Anonymous, SMART Recovery and Women For Sobriety meetings while continuing to support MM for others.[2] In March 2000 she drove her truck the wrong way down a highway, and hit another vehicle head-on killing its two passengers" (emphasis mine)
IF she attended any AA, it would seem that she did so only for a very brief period of time before the fatal crash. Here is the Wikipedia quote.
"In January 2000 Kishline posted a message to an official MM email list stating that she had concluded her best drinking goal was abstinence and that she would begin attending Alcoholics Anonymous, SMART Recovery and Women For Sobriety meetings while continuing to support MM for others.[2] In March 2000 she drove her truck the wrong way down a highway, and hit another vehicle head-on killing its two passengers" (emphasis mine)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
I didn't mean this post to demean her. I feel very badly for her that she lost her life to this disease. It's a haunting reminder of what can happen to any of us. I see a lot of myself in her and I am forever grateful I stopped in time. I'm sad for her that she didn't "get this." I hope she is at peace now.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,445
Originally Posted by soberwolf
This is someone just like us yes she messed up but I think she more than paid the price while she was still alive the amount of negativety this woman receives is unfair & unjust
RIP Audrey Kishline x
RIP Audrey Kishline x
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,350
I can't relate much to her story. I never tried to moderate. I can't imagine what it would be like to live with having made that huge of a mistake.
The story that scared the crap out of me was Diane Schuler. There was one Sunday I decided to have a drink in the morning. I completely lost control of my intake immediately like I have never had before and it actually never did grip me that way again. It was just this bizarre autopilot feeling. I imagine that is what happened to her. In my case I was safe at home. In her case she had a van full of kids coming back from a camping trip. Her family was left in disbelief that the accident was alcohol related. She was one of those women that did it all and hid the problem too well. Probably from herself too. That could have been me.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_T..._Parkway_crash
The story that scared the crap out of me was Diane Schuler. There was one Sunday I decided to have a drink in the morning. I completely lost control of my intake immediately like I have never had before and it actually never did grip me that way again. It was just this bizarre autopilot feeling. I imagine that is what happened to her. In my case I was safe at home. In her case she had a van full of kids coming back from a camping trip. Her family was left in disbelief that the accident was alcohol related. She was one of those women that did it all and hid the problem too well. Probably from herself too. That could have been me.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_T..._Parkway_crash
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Once again. I posted this because I struggle with my AV daily and was actually researching how I could possibly drink again at some point. I came upon this and it scared me! I posted this in the hopes that it might help keep someone else sober.
In no way do I feel superior to her.
In no way am I angry with her.
In no way am I laughing at her.
I feel very badly that she lost her life to this disease.
This post was intended to warn others of the dangers of thinking you can "manage your drinking." I know I need reminders daily that I cannot ever drink again.
In no way do I feel superior to her.
In no way am I angry with her.
In no way am I laughing at her.
I feel very badly that she lost her life to this disease.
This post was intended to warn others of the dangers of thinking you can "manage your drinking." I know I need reminders daily that I cannot ever drink again.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,479
Originally Posted by silentrun
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
OK this one is close to me - Bunny I know your intentions were good I meant no criticism
Audrey Kishline isn't & will never be an example for this fact alone
Imagine this was you because it very easily could of have been anyone of us if anyone needs a reminder of why to stay sober look in the mirror
I already know this will provoke but that's not my intention were talking about a human being a woman a daughter a mother a grandmother a friend a relative an alcoholic
Is it right because if it is I hope to use anyone & everyones faults against them as a reminder do not drink
but it's just not about that and I'm sorry if I come across the wrong way but just think if this was someone close to you
Bunny this is not aimed at you hun x
I'm 2.6 years sober and I learnt that it's better to help an alcoholic rather than make an example out of one
Please remember I really used to use her as a poster for moderating not working think about why in my 2nd year sober I stopped thinking like that
what was it that I saw
Audrey Kishline isn't & will never be an example for this fact alone
Imagine this was you because it very easily could of have been anyone of us if anyone needs a reminder of why to stay sober look in the mirror
I already know this will provoke but that's not my intention were talking about a human being a woman a daughter a mother a grandmother a friend a relative an alcoholic
Is it right because if it is I hope to use anyone & everyones faults against them as a reminder do not drink
but it's just not about that and I'm sorry if I come across the wrong way but just think if this was someone close to you
Bunny this is not aimed at you hun x
I'm 2.6 years sober and I learnt that it's better to help an alcoholic rather than make an example out of one
Please remember I really used to use her as a poster for moderating not working think about why in my 2nd year sober I stopped thinking like that
what was it that I saw
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 102
Originally Posted by Bunny211
I didn't mean this post to demean her. I feel very badly for her that she lost her life to this disease. It's a haunting reminder of what can happen to any of us. I see a lot of myself in her and I am forever grateful I stopped in time. I'm sad for her that she didn't "get this." I hope she is at peace now.
Moderation is a myth and at best, too dang much work!
Thank you for posting this!
Holly.🎋
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
.
My own Take-Aways from Stories like Kishline and Schuler are:
1. Only amazing Luck/Fate kept me from similar Outcomes.
2. It would be some kinda Hypocrisy for me to Second Guess their poor Judgment when I exhibited repeated, similar 'Judgments'; chemically devoid most times of Free Will.
Therefore, I took this Thread only for the cautionary Lessons it presented, and as a Public Service Reminder.
.
My own Take-Aways from Stories like Kishline and Schuler are:
1. Only amazing Luck/Fate kept me from similar Outcomes.
2. It would be some kinda Hypocrisy for me to Second Guess their poor Judgment when I exhibited repeated, similar 'Judgments'; chemically devoid most times of Free Will.
Therefore, I took this Thread only for the cautionary Lessons it presented, and as a Public Service Reminder.
.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Washington
Posts: 75
HBO did a great documentary on Diane Schuler called "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane" (her niece's final message). It's available, in the US at least, on Amazon Prime. Terrible to see the denial in the family, but worth a watch for all who considered themselves "functional" alcoholics.
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 740
I sometimes struggle with my AV telling me I can moderate now too, Bunny and a few months ago I ran into that very same story you found. My heart broke for Audrey, as it does for all those that didn't make it because of this terrible disease.
Delfin
Delfin
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Northeast
Posts: 175
Totally understand the brain tricking someone with moderation. It seems so easy - just 2 or 3 beers and call it a night. Unfortunately, this becomes a coin flip for me. Some days I could have a couple beers and walk away, other nights turned into marathon, blackout sessions.
For me, it's easier and less stressful to just not drink at all.
For me, it's easier and less stressful to just not drink at all.
The Long and Winding Road....
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Brisbane QLD
Posts: 897
hey there
yes there is a part of me that would love it if moderation worked.....ive tried that many times only to spiral back into alcoholism pretty smartly........its symptomatic of my own state and ive found that abstinence whilst really hard initially works for me.
yes Audrey kishlines story is sad.....and maybe some people can moderate????
I for one cannot
van
yes there is a part of me that would love it if moderation worked.....ive tried that many times only to spiral back into alcoholism pretty smartly........its symptomatic of my own state and ive found that abstinence whilst really hard initially works for me.
yes Audrey kishlines story is sad.....and maybe some people can moderate????
I for one cannot
van
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