My mind runs me ragged sometimes.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
My mind runs me ragged sometimes.
Can anyone relate?
I hate living in my head. It drives me insane. Despite being told I do a great job at work, I am constantly afraid of losing my job. My mind will tell me I'm going to royally screw something up at work and lose my job, and since I spent my 401K on rehab and 3 months of living expenses til I found work again, I have nothing to fall back on. "You're going to lose your job. You won't be able to pay your rent. You're going to end up living in a cardboard box. You might as well prepare for the worst and solidify a plan to end everything when you do wind up homeless." It's terrible!
I am just a bundle of nerves today. I just feel very UNSAFE and unstable in early sobriety. And my head is why I used to drink. To quiet those voices telling me I was no good and that life was going to knock me on my @$$ and I'd end up in some terrible situation etc. And now I can't drink. I'm trying to find alternative ways to quiet those horrible voices and help with the crippling anxiety! Anyone have any methods that worked for them?
Thanks.
I hate living in my head. It drives me insane. Despite being told I do a great job at work, I am constantly afraid of losing my job. My mind will tell me I'm going to royally screw something up at work and lose my job, and since I spent my 401K on rehab and 3 months of living expenses til I found work again, I have nothing to fall back on. "You're going to lose your job. You won't be able to pay your rent. You're going to end up living in a cardboard box. You might as well prepare for the worst and solidify a plan to end everything when you do wind up homeless." It's terrible!
I am just a bundle of nerves today. I just feel very UNSAFE and unstable in early sobriety. And my head is why I used to drink. To quiet those voices telling me I was no good and that life was going to knock me on my @$$ and I'd end up in some terrible situation etc. And now I can't drink. I'm trying to find alternative ways to quiet those horrible voices and help with the crippling anxiety! Anyone have any methods that worked for them?
Thanks.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
HI Bunny, I know how loud and clangy things can get at times, I think to an extent we all do. The quest for inner peace and some gosh darn quiet is an ageless one, a search that humanity has made for millennia.
The things that have helped me also led me to a secure unconditional sobriety. First among them is mindfulness, cultivated through self awareness and meditation. Follow your breath with your awareness, and when you are interrupted with these thoughts, observe them without judging them, accept them and then return to your breath. For me, it is like taking a short mental vacation from my stresses and worries.
Gratitude is another type of mindfulness, it's a stock taking of the many blessings being enjoyed at the moment. That can turn things around for you even for just a few minutes, and that is nice way to reset the panic button.
Journaling, just writing thoughts down is another tool used to achieve a mindful awareness. It lets you observe your thoughts as they are written.
Walking, or other types of moderate exercise, are also mindful. The mind tends to focus on the present moment, the body feelings, the environment around you, and the increase in blood flow and oxygen to your brain may be what is needed.
Sleep is an essential part of a healthy physical and mental life, and getting enough of it is a challenge for many. See what needs doing to improve that if that is an issue for you.
Diet is another big component. Simple processed foods with lots of sugar promote a certain type of gut flora which messes with the peace and internal quiet we are looking for. Slowly eliminate this stuff in favour of whole and unprocessed foods and the gut will begin to respond by promoting other gut flora that helps with all that other stuff - more energy, more focus, better sleep and so on.
I found that each of these was difficult to do and maintain, but slowly, efforts began to snowball and reinforce each other. Now they are part of my life. I hope some of these can be helpful to you.
The things that have helped me also led me to a secure unconditional sobriety. First among them is mindfulness, cultivated through self awareness and meditation. Follow your breath with your awareness, and when you are interrupted with these thoughts, observe them without judging them, accept them and then return to your breath. For me, it is like taking a short mental vacation from my stresses and worries.
Gratitude is another type of mindfulness, it's a stock taking of the many blessings being enjoyed at the moment. That can turn things around for you even for just a few minutes, and that is nice way to reset the panic button.
Journaling, just writing thoughts down is another tool used to achieve a mindful awareness. It lets you observe your thoughts as they are written.
Walking, or other types of moderate exercise, are also mindful. The mind tends to focus on the present moment, the body feelings, the environment around you, and the increase in blood flow and oxygen to your brain may be what is needed.
Sleep is an essential part of a healthy physical and mental life, and getting enough of it is a challenge for many. See what needs doing to improve that if that is an issue for you.
Diet is another big component. Simple processed foods with lots of sugar promote a certain type of gut flora which messes with the peace and internal quiet we are looking for. Slowly eliminate this stuff in favour of whole and unprocessed foods and the gut will begin to respond by promoting other gut flora that helps with all that other stuff - more energy, more focus, better sleep and so on.
I found that each of these was difficult to do and maintain, but slowly, efforts began to snowball and reinforce each other. Now they are part of my life. I hope some of these can be helpful to you.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,444
Bunny, I have ongoing problems with anxiety and one of the quickest, easiest thing to do is to breathe. Do you know how to do belly breaths? This works because when you are anxious your breathing is quick and shallow and belly breathing will relax your body within a few minutes:
Keep your mouth closed and inhale slowly through your nose by pushing your stomach out. Open your mouth. Exhale through your mouth by pulling your belly in.
Keep your mouth closed and inhale slowly through your nose by pushing your stomach out. Open your mouth. Exhale through your mouth by pulling your belly in.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: glasgow scotland
Posts: 1,004
Hi Bunny .
Insecurity and fear of the unknown result in a racing mind , like Freshstart suggested ''meditation '' for me is a big plus , I imagine inside my head like a goldfish bowl with water lapping from side to side . But first find a straight backed chair or try and sit cross legged on a cushion with your back straight .
Breathe in and out as deep as you can for about 100 breaths , imagine the water inside your head slowly starting to settle until its still . Imagine your breathing in peace and blowing out stress , let your thoughts come and go , try and imagine putting your fears in an envelope and posting them out of your mind , concentrate on the tip of your nose as your nostrils slowly contract in and out with your breathing , breath in through your mouth very slowly and deeply and slowly breath out gently , main idea is breathing gently and deeply and steadily it takes time but is very beneficial if you get the right technique , you could also ''Google '' it and pick whatever appeals to you .
Meanwhile do what you are doing to stay sober and things will sort themselves out , if one keeps doing the right thing then things certainly never get worse. take care .
Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006
Insecurity and fear of the unknown result in a racing mind , like Freshstart suggested ''meditation '' for me is a big plus , I imagine inside my head like a goldfish bowl with water lapping from side to side . But first find a straight backed chair or try and sit cross legged on a cushion with your back straight .
Breathe in and out as deep as you can for about 100 breaths , imagine the water inside your head slowly starting to settle until its still . Imagine your breathing in peace and blowing out stress , let your thoughts come and go , try and imagine putting your fears in an envelope and posting them out of your mind , concentrate on the tip of your nose as your nostrils slowly contract in and out with your breathing , breath in through your mouth very slowly and deeply and slowly breath out gently , main idea is breathing gently and deeply and steadily it takes time but is very beneficial if you get the right technique , you could also ''Google '' it and pick whatever appeals to you .
Meanwhile do what you are doing to stay sober and things will sort themselves out , if one keeps doing the right thing then things certainly never get worse. take care .
Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,781
I can relate Bunny!! I deal with it every day! Hang in there and take a deep breath!! Meetings help me but it's hard to go to a meeting in the middle of your work day! Wish I could say something to make it go away but I'm in the same boat.. Keep up the great work! Thanks for sharing and I hope you have a great rest of the day!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,570
Hi Bunny - you're not alone in this! I too have negative or worrying thoughts that intrude a lot. I second everything in Freshstart's list ... all really good tools.
I try to develop a different response to these negative or worrisome thoughts. I find it doesn't help me to be "at war" with them, or to hate the thoughts -- that seems to add to my distress. I just try to recognize it, saying to myself, "oh, hmm, there's that worry again" or "oh, that was a self-critical thought". Then I try to breathe deeply for just a moment, while the thought passes.
I try to develop a different response to these negative or worrisome thoughts. I find it doesn't help me to be "at war" with them, or to hate the thoughts -- that seems to add to my distress. I just try to recognize it, saying to myself, "oh, hmm, there's that worry again" or "oh, that was a self-critical thought". Then I try to breathe deeply for just a moment, while the thought passes.
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
I feel your pain. Anxiety was the #1 reason I kept going back to the bottle. I still deal with it but know now that alcohol never did anything but make it many times worse. I've never been very good at meditation, precisely because of all the noise in my head. One way I've learned to deal with it is to switch my focus to where I am now, as opposed to where I was afraid I would be at this point. They are two entirely different scenarios.
A year ago, after losing my job, totaling my car, breaking my neck, losing contact with my kids, spending 2 months in rehab, etc. I was certain I was destined to be bankrupt, home in foreclosure, unemployed, unemployable, homeless, destitute. Instead, I stayed the course, stayed in AA, stayed sober and now I have a new job, a car, sold my house, my neck is healed, and I'm restoring my relationships with my kids. Things are nowhere near perfect but they are much better than I feared!
A year ago, after losing my job, totaling my car, breaking my neck, losing contact with my kids, spending 2 months in rehab, etc. I was certain I was destined to be bankrupt, home in foreclosure, unemployed, unemployable, homeless, destitute. Instead, I stayed the course, stayed in AA, stayed sober and now I have a new job, a car, sold my house, my neck is healed, and I'm restoring my relationships with my kids. Things are nowhere near perfect but they are much better than I feared!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Thanks all. I really appreciate all the responses. I think I am going to take a walk down by the beach this afternoon and just b-r-e-a-t-h-e! I may even meditate! I've been thinking perhaps I might look into therapy again. It never worked before BUT I was drinking then. We shall see. Day is almost over - Thank God!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
where ya at in the steps?
fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Bunny211
Finishing up my 4th. Reading my 5th over Easter weekend. PRomises come true in the 9th....correct?
yuppers.
i think what your experiencing with these thoughts is common.
imo, i was readin low self esteem in your OP, something im gonnaguess has been a problem for some time(i had ithorribly for years. i was justa f-up. if it wasnt f'ed up, i was gonna f it up).
so what to do.
welp, i suggested a few things in yer other thread.
now ill suggest takin a look at yerself in the mirror and tellin yerself you love you.
you know the thoughts about yer job are a lie.
reading quite a few of yer posts,imo you feel unstable and unsafeTODAY. youve shown on here the programs working. the promises are happening for you.
but yer just havin a p*ss poor mental day.
ya know, 10+ years in and i can have a whacked out day from time to time. i think tbe writers of the bb knew that when they wrote "trudge the road of happy destiny."
and for some reason on those whacked out days, just accepting that that is how it is and how it is sopposed to be on that very day helps tremendously.
so, go look in the mirror and tell yerself you love you,eh?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Bunny
I relate. For me, early sobriety can have an almost manic edge to it....anxiety, lack of appetite, lack of sleep, racing thoughts, obsessive thoughts. I think its partly due to my poor booze addled brain trying to heal....without alcohol it just kind of flies all over the place.
Negative self talk, catastrophic thinking? That has an OCD element to it....I do the same thing. I obsessively think....my compulsion is to drink. A person doesn't have to count or rearrange etc to have some level of obsessive behavior. For me, the more 'right' decisions I make, the more my thoughts quiet.
As others have said, meditation and breathing. Here's the kicker: When one is anxious, mind racing, freaking out? How does one meditate? Kind of a conundrum. I find that yoga, a moving meditation, is much easier for me than simply trying to sit there, breath and clear my mind. The movement helps me focus, gives the anxiety an outlet, which then allows me to breath and let go of all thoughts and feelings that aren't beneficial to me. After practice I try to lay there for 10 minutes and meditate. Just works best for me that way.
Hang in there.
I relate. For me, early sobriety can have an almost manic edge to it....anxiety, lack of appetite, lack of sleep, racing thoughts, obsessive thoughts. I think its partly due to my poor booze addled brain trying to heal....without alcohol it just kind of flies all over the place.
Negative self talk, catastrophic thinking? That has an OCD element to it....I do the same thing. I obsessively think....my compulsion is to drink. A person doesn't have to count or rearrange etc to have some level of obsessive behavior. For me, the more 'right' decisions I make, the more my thoughts quiet.
As others have said, meditation and breathing. Here's the kicker: When one is anxious, mind racing, freaking out? How does one meditate? Kind of a conundrum. I find that yoga, a moving meditation, is much easier for me than simply trying to sit there, breath and clear my mind. The movement helps me focus, gives the anxiety an outlet, which then allows me to breath and let go of all thoughts and feelings that aren't beneficial to me. After practice I try to lay there for 10 minutes and meditate. Just works best for me that way.
Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
totally normal bunny but keep in mind there all just thoughts thats all they are they are not real. worry about what is real.
I went through what your dealing with and I still do. I guess it doesnt get the best of me anymore very often anyhow though i still have many of the same worries.
For starters what helped me was reading the power of now by eckhart tolle. but there are many other good reads i read too.
One book i read the auther said to be the spectator of your thoughts rather then the bossy dictator. just watch them come and go and watch the emotions rise and fall you dont have to be sucked up into any of it if you dont want to be.
it does get easier.
I went through what your dealing with and I still do. I guess it doesnt get the best of me anymore very often anyhow though i still have many of the same worries.
For starters what helped me was reading the power of now by eckhart tolle. but there are many other good reads i read too.
One book i read the auther said to be the spectator of your thoughts rather then the bossy dictator. just watch them come and go and watch the emotions rise and fall you dont have to be sucked up into any of it if you dont want to be.
it does get easier.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
I call it the dark voice, and it got way louder when I stopped drinking, but my take is slightly different than yours.
I think the AV is part of the dark voice and when we take drinking off the table it ratches it up on other issues.
Have you ever read any of Debbie Ford's stuff?? I read the Shadow Effect and am now reading Why Good People Do Bad Things and doing her 30 Day Consciousness Cleanse, all of which were very helpful to me.
Someone else on here said something great. S/he schedules a worrying hour and when worries come up other times tell the worries they will have to wait until 2PM and by 2PM they are gone. I thought that was cool, and seems to work.
I do think its part of the process, and will get better as long as we keep working on it.
Great thread.
I think the AV is part of the dark voice and when we take drinking off the table it ratches it up on other issues.
Have you ever read any of Debbie Ford's stuff?? I read the Shadow Effect and am now reading Why Good People Do Bad Things and doing her 30 Day Consciousness Cleanse, all of which were very helpful to me.
Someone else on here said something great. S/he schedules a worrying hour and when worries come up other times tell the worries they will have to wait until 2PM and by 2PM they are gone. I thought that was cool, and seems to work.
I do think its part of the process, and will get better as long as we keep working on it.
Great thread.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
I deal with a ton of anxiety too.
All I can really say is, I have dealt with many things that most people fear- job loss, loss of my home, no family and nowhere to go, being without a roof over my head and having to sleep outside, being uninsured and having health issues (nothing serious so at least there was that) and heck just for fun, living my entire life with an undiagnosed learning disorder.
It's just that I'm trying to say, even though I actually lived through what most consider their worst fears, some of which you have named- I am still here. I guess in a way I am saying is, as long as you have you, you have a chance.
So maybe you can take solace in that? I have at times when it was all I had.
All I can really say is, I have dealt with many things that most people fear- job loss, loss of my home, no family and nowhere to go, being without a roof over my head and having to sleep outside, being uninsured and having health issues (nothing serious so at least there was that) and heck just for fun, living my entire life with an undiagnosed learning disorder.
It's just that I'm trying to say, even though I actually lived through what most consider their worst fears, some of which you have named- I am still here. I guess in a way I am saying is, as long as you have you, you have a chance.
So maybe you can take solace in that? I have at times when it was all I had.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
When my mind goes to places I don't like it to go, I focus on my dogs and cats. Playing with them or walking my dogs. Going for a dog walk has a lot of benefits. Fresh air, sunshine, exercise. And it makes me feel good to see the dogs enjoying their walk. 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 130
I totally understand where you are coming from. My dad (an alcoholic himself) used to say if you spend time in your own head, you are in bad company. I completely agree with him! I have been with my firm for almost 10 years, and yet every time my boss asks for a 1:1 meeting I start with "am I being fired?". I try to laugh, but even with all the great reviews, the promotions, I am still wildly insecure about my abilities, have a ton of anxiety and get very paranoid. I get convinced my husband, who anyone will say adores me, is going to leave. No reason except he doesn't need me to "fix" anything for him, so why should he stay. None of these are real, but I can get crazy thinking about it. So, now that I am sober, I can quiet the voices a little more than I could when drinking. I can remember they are feelings, not facts. And remember I will survive no matter what, and be stronger because I don't self-medicate with alcohol anymore. Old SNL joke that I honestly use when feeling down - I am good enough, I am smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me :-)
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
glad i'm not hte only one amyrose. I too have good reviews and so on but feel as if my job is on the chopping block all the time. Always waiting for the next big catastrophie to unfold etc...
I just tell myself its all in my head and try not to let my mind take me for the ride on the crazy train.
I just tell myself its all in my head and try not to let my mind take me for the ride on the crazy train.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Originally Posted by zjw
glad i'm not hte only one amyrose. I too have good reviews and so on but feel as if my job is on the chopping block all the time. Always waiting for the next big catastrophie to unfold etc...
I just tell myself its all in my head and try not to let my mind take me for the ride on the crazy train.
I just tell myself its all in my head and try not to let my mind take me for the ride on the crazy train.
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